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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
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"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
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Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Monday, October 17, 2005
Write Me a Letter Soon, And I'll be Homeward Bound
Mood:  amorous
Topic: "Bang the Drum Slowly"
Judith Miller looks like one of those women whose head was shaved for fraternizing with German troops during the occupation of Paris. "Scooter" Libby, dressed in green, looks like someone who has just been called "Herr Wachtmeister" by a White House Intern. Frodo believes that the two of them have been conducting an illicit relationship. Miller has disguised the affair by publishing articles supportive of the Administration. Libby, of course, was the source. Libby disguised his true involvement by reporting back to his boss, the Vice President of the United States, in order to document his efforts to discredit Administration critics.

Judith Miller spent 85 days in jail. Scooter wrote her letters in which he hoped she would soon be free to see the trees in the West that she so truly loved. Frodo notes that Vice President Cheney is from Wyoming, and that there are lots of trees there.

No pictures of Scooter and his immediate family have been presented by print or visual media. In fact, the few pictures that do exist seem to feature Scooter all alone, and none are relatively recent. Frodo notes that it would therefore be much more difficult for hotel employees to recall seeing him with Miller, or anyone else for that matter.

Frodo notes also that the editorial management of the NEW YORK TIMES, which is the employer of record for Ms. Miller, has been noticeably reticent in its' responsibility to control the former winner of a Pulitzer Prize. Acting with a very long leash, if you will, Ms. Miller may also have been spreading a few favors in the direction of one or two of those guys.

Frodo decided that these coincidental facts required true investigative effort. Cloaking himself as he did before entering Mordor, Frodo strolled past the guard gate on Pennsylvania Avenue and entered the West Wing of the White House. He walked past Mary Matalin's office, and saw Dick Cheney picking his nose. Then he was there, directly in front of the strangely silent Libby Alcove. Frodo walked to Libby's desk and opened the lap drawer.

It is there, dear reader, for Frodo saw it with his own eyes. A blue dress.

Frodo took a piece of paper from his pocket and scribbled down a telephone number. He pinned the note to the front of the stained garment. Frodo closed the lap drawer and strolled out of the White House in the same manner as he entered. When out on Pennsylvania Avenue again he removed his cloak and whistled a happy tune as he strolled toward the Washington Monument.

Standing on the Mall, looking first to the Capitol, and then to the Lincoln Memorial, Frodo grinned. "I wonder," he said "what Scooter will say when that telephone is answered by Linda Tripp?"

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:53 PM EDT
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Thursday, October 13, 2005
People Get Ready There's a Train A'Comin'
Mood:  caffeinated
Topic: "Bushenomics"
Some questions are not asked, because they are impolite. Some statements are not made, because they are impertinent. Questions not asked, theories not aired--sounds like a Press Conference at the White House! What follows are hypothetical questions from "Crack White House Analyst" Frodo to "Cracked White House Resident" Bush, and hypothetical responses.

"Mr. President, the cumulative Federal Deficit is at its highest level in American History. The overwhelming majority of that deficit was created during the one term served by your father as President, and during your nearly five years in office as President. Isn't it true that the growth of the deficit has been intentional?"

"Yes, that is correct."

"A follow-up Sir, isn't it true that the intentional swelling of the deficit is a strategic effort to eliminate, or at least emasculate, discretionary spending items from the Federal Budget?"

"Yes, that is correct. It is also an effort to substantially reduce the tax burden on the American people."

"Pardon me for following up again Sir, but can you explain this strategy to the American people?"

"Surely, and thank you for giving me the opportunity. It has long been the desire of those of us with a conservative approach to want to limit the size of government. The only way to defeat the "political" and "pork" decisions which swell the budget is to take away the availability of money. By borrowing so heavily at this time, we recognize that, soon, the debt will have to be repaid. After taking out just enough money to provide for our national security and defense, the remainder of all other government income would go to satisfy the bonds purchased by those who actually lent us the money which created the deficit. In that way, we wean the American people off of relying on the government."

"Please Sir, and thank you, but we need to know what happens to food stamps, to housing assistance, to Medicare, to flood insurance, to student loans, to any of those things which government, at its' discretion, does to help those who are most vulnerable in our society?"

"People must learn to provide for themselves and their families, and they should not expect government to provide for them. In this approach we can substantially reduce taxes once the debt is paid, and we can allow the American people to keep even more of their hard earned money."

"Thank you Mr. President"

"Thank you Mr. Frodo."



"Herbert Hoover."

"Franklin Roosevelt."

"Yo Mama."









"Well, let's give some others a chance. Any other questions?"

"Yes Mr. President, Caspar Milquetoast from Faux News top-rated 'Softball,' and my question is about the Secretary of State. Did she find any bargains on Rodeo Drive when shopping for shoes?"

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:07 PM EDT
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Wednesday, October 12, 2005
If You Think I'm Sexy, Come on Baby, Let Me Know
Mood:  cheeky
Topic: "Sheep and Museums"
Frodo is pleased to announce plans for the opening this coming spring of the $8.3 million "London Academy of Sex and Relationships" adjacent to Piccadilly Circus. The privately funded project has support from sexual health organizations and charities. The sexual "theme park" will be a multimedia attraction whose goal is to teach visitors to become better lovers and to provide information about disease and sexual problems. Developers promise that it will not be a sleazy sex museum.


Frodo is, however, proud to carry the ring while others argue. Frodo will gladly offer his services in order to ensure the success of this noble undertaking. In fact, Frodo has compiled a list of interactive exhibits and demonstrations which could prove to be both educational and (ahem) stimulating.

Frodo could demonstrate the one-handed, sightless, behind-the-back manipulation of clasps, while reclining in the seat of a 1960 Rambler Station Wagon.

Frodo could also suggest a number of tried and true pick-up lines, including such time-honored family favorites as "Hi, I understand you've been waiting for me? My name is Mister Right." When working in tandem with a buddy one of the most productive was "Hi, this is my friend Thad, who, in turn, will introduce me." In truth, that which always worked best was "Gee, it's too bad the Lamborghini is in the shop, you'd love the ride out to the yacht."

Would it surprise you, dear reader, to know that Frodo is a Scorpio? So is Sam.

Best of all Frodo could make himself available in any of the potential segments of the park. You know, "Fantasyland,""Adventureland,""Tomorrowland," and quite probably "Yesterdayland." Oh well, what else is there to do in London? The food sucks.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:17 PM EDT
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Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Rollin', Rollin', Rollin' on The River
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: "Bush in the Bullrushes"
The northern snakehead, native to China and Korea, first appeared in the US of A in 2002 in a farm pond near Crofton, Maryland. Concerned about the fertility, as well as the mobility of these predators, wildlife officials poisoned the entire pond. They found six adults and more than 1,000 dead juveniles when the pond was drained. Last year, more snakeheads, with no genetic connection to those found in the Crofton pond, were found in the nearby Potomac River. More than 70 snakeheads had been caught in the River so far this year.

Bass Pro Shops has offered $50 gift certificates for every snakehead caught and brought into their store in Hanover, Maryland.

This past Sunday Mark Hammond, Mike Bowers, and Tom Dustin brought more than 80 snakeheads into the store. Allan Ellis, promotions manager at Bass Pro Shops, declined to give out more than $4,000 in gift cards because the fish were caught in nets. "They're in there by the thousands. The ones we caught didn't even put a dent in them. We would throw one in the cooler, two others would jump out and we'd have to chase them through the woods," said Mr. Hammond.

"Chase them through the woods?", queried Frodo.

Julia Dixon of the Virginia Department of Game and Inland Fisheries responded that the snakehead does stay upright on the ground, and wiggles its' way from one body of water to another. "They are a top line predator, so they're going to be competing for the same space and food as bass, and we'll just have to see what shakes out," she added.

Frodo never thought that the Smallmouth Bass of the Upper Potomac River might someday come under the aegis of the Endangered Species Act. That is, assuming the Endangered Species Act doesn't become endangered itself under the smooth leadership of the Bush Presidency and its' rubber-stamp Congress.

One day, many years ago, Frodo and his canine companion Prissy waded into the Potomac at a place called Stubblefield. Prissy, being short of stature, was conveniently parked on a sandbar while Frodo stood atop the rapids fishing for Smallmouth. After many minutes Prissy could stand solace no longer and waded into the rapids to swim to her Hobbit. Frodo eventually noticed his friend in deep trouble, swimming furiously against the current, and being pulled steadily downstream.

Frodo abandoned his fishing rod, his lures, all the prizes saved over several lifetimes, and swam at speeds previously undiscovered. Frodo kept his gaze on the pleading eyes of his friend. Faster, and faster, and faster still, until he caught her collar and pulled her to him. They drifted in the current, together, until Frodo could grasp an outcropping of rocks and make way to shore.

Prissy shook herself several times as they walked along the shore. She followed as Frodo made his way to a parallel point to where he had abandoned his fishing gear. Frodo looked at Prissy, and told her to "Stay." He was sure that this would be one command obeyed, no matter what. Frodo walked into the water and found his fishing rod, and all his gear, pinned up against a rock, intact.

When they reached their motorcar Prissy abandoned her normal spot in the passenger seat in order to lay her head on the leg of her Hobbit. Grateful prayers were prayed, and two friends went home.

Frodo knows that Prissy's heart would break if she knew that there may someday be no reason for Hobbit and Hound to wade at Stubblefield.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:52 PM EDT
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Sunday, October 9, 2005
If They Don't Win It's a Shame
Mood:  blue
Topic: "First Learn to Lose"
Frodo has been plagued by failure from his first team in Little League. The "Salona Village All-Stars" finished their first season 0-12. As a pre-teen Frodo's favorite professional baseball team moved to another city, twice. Frodo became an early devotee of Charles Schulz, and it didn't take much for Frodo to see the similarity between himself and the enigmatic Charlie Brown.

Tonight another of Frodo's favorite teams ended its' season on a down note. As inning compounded upon inning, Frodo was aware of an impending sense of doom. Despite the heroics of trying so very hard, there comes upon the participant the sense that the moment is reserved for someone else. Frodo participates in every play, and he could not have done more to cheer on his skillionaire compadres.

There is always resentment. Hatred is reserved for any team from New York or the Dallas Cowboys. The Houston Astros have always been bridesmaids, and Frodo is confident that they will also fall on their way to the precipice of baseball one-upsmanship. Frodo just doesn't like to see Texans celebrating.

College Basketball will be starting soon. Texas basketball teams are made up of players from other parts of the country. The reason for this is that Texas players cannot jump and they tend to trip over their shoelaces. Should Frodo's favorite team fall short of the zenith of the sport, at least it won't be to a bunch of Texans with big mouths and little Willys.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:46 PM EDT
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Thursday, October 6, 2005
The Night The Lights Went Out in Georgia
Mood:  loud
Topic: "No Peanut Left Behind"
Frodo does not trust politicians. Most of them are lawyers. Many of them come from Texas. Occasionally, as opportunistic as they are, some change parties. The Governor of the State of Georgia is a veterinarian from a rural community whose name reminds one of a product used to clean bathrooms, Bon Air. "Sonny" Perdue is the first Republican elected as Governor in over 130 years. "Sonny" was a Democrat until the tides changed.

After Hurricane Rita, and the threat of oil shortages, Governor Perdue announced that he was requesting each school district to close for two days. He reasoned that by taking two "snow days," thereby idling all school buses, the State would save $225,000 each day in diesel fuel costs.

Many parents went ballistic since the announcement came on a Friday, after business hours, and left little opportunity to arrange childcare. President Bush, made aware of the action, applauded the Governor for his "leadership."

It deserves note that SAT scores among public school students in Georgia rank in a tie for dead-last among all States (Only our toothless friends in South Carolina save Georgia from a richly deserved recognition in futility). Additionally, no other State felt compelled to duplicate the aggressive "leadership" of Governor Perdue.

There the story apparently ends. Oh incorrecto, camel breath. Today the Atlanta Journal & Constitution reported that Lobbyists working in behalf of Agricultural interests in rural Georgia participated in conference calls with the Governor and other leaders. As a result of those telephone calls, the decision was made to request the school closings. What the newspaper discovered was that there was a memo of that telephone call. The memo stated that the Agricultural Lobbyists brought up the figure of $225,000 per day of diesel fuel savings, and that it was crucial that potentially scarce diesel fuel should be diverted to farmers about to harvest crops.

The crops, for the unitiated, are peanuts.

Governor Perdue quickly assailed the newspaper as incompetent in their reporting, since the facts are purely coincidental, and that his decision was not to sacrifice the schools for peanuts. The South Georgia farmers do tend to vote Republican however, and it is well known that teacher unions are still composed of ultra-liberal Communists. Interestingly enough, the Agricultural lobbyists, interviewed on local news stated that the idea for the diversion to the peanut farmers was that of the Governor's "people."

As George W. Bush once said about his good friend "Brownie," that is certainly a great job you're doing there Governor. Frodo hopes you haven't forgotten how to remove a splinter from the hoof of a jackass.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:56 PM EDT
Updated: Friday, October 7, 2005 12:01 AM EDT
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Wednesday, October 5, 2005
Maybe the Last Time, I Don't Know
Mood:  d'oh
Topic: "Boy, I Say Boy"
Activists and Traditionalists are often at one another's throat no matter where they come into contact. Activists look upon Traditionalists as "Headstone Polishers," concerned only with the history and maintenance of the status quo. Traditionalists, on the other hand, see Activists as lobbyists for political purposes and objectives. The conflict is present in governments, churches, homeowners' associations, or wherever groups form. Frodo marvels at how like-minded individuals can become so determined that they destroy that which first brought them together.

One of Frodo's Great Grandfathers served in the Confederate Army. By virtue of birth Frodo was therefore qualified to join an organization known as the "Sons of Confederate Veterans." A bit of research had opened Frodo's eyes to some of his Great Grandfathers' experiences, so he was somewhat interested when contacted by the group soliciting him as a potential member. Getting together with like-minded Hobbits is not a bad thing, and could prove to be educational. His attendance at a single meeting signaled the immortal words of Robby the Robot "Error, error, Danger Will Robinson, danger."

The Traditionalists want to discuss history, military strategy, vignettes about people and things, to maintain historical markers, and to keep parkland clean and accessible. The Activists, on the other hand, want to prove that their ancestors were right, to keep Confederate symbols on flags, and to fight any person who would demean the memory of times gone by.

Nearly all of the members of the Sons of Confederate Veterans are white males somewhere over 50, but generally under 75. There are about 32,000 of them all told. Nearly all live east of the Rockies, and somewhere beneath the geographical location of the never-visited Chicago. They are all interested in the events that transpired roughly between 1861 and 1865.

Given the commonalities, the depth of the struggle for control has produced death threats and, most recently, a legal schism. Now Frodo initially thought this was all about a bunch of old guys who don't get it up much anymore, so they just need to let it all hang out. Unfortunately there are much deeper issues at hand in an organization filled with similarities and absent any diversities.

Frodo's Great Grandfather was a farmer. He lived in an area where there were more rocks than dirt. He never had much, and he certainly didn't have the resources to own any people. He rode his own horse when he joined the 7th Virginia Cavalry, and he carried his own gun. He was "Third Corporal," and he served with several of his brothers in an outfit called the "Shenandoah Rangers."

Frodo knows that on the third day of July, 1863, he rode into a little town in Pennsylvania called Gettysburg.

On the same day, another of Frodo's Great Grandfathers, wearing a blue coat, completed the march, by foot, from his hometown in Ohio into the same small town. On that day that Great Grandfather was wounded. He survived his wounds.

It is possible, although clearly not probable, that the one Great Grandfather, the one in gray, shot the other Great Grandfather, the one in blue. They were on the same battlefield, on the same day, on opposite sides.

Frodo wanted to talk about these kinds of things. The Shire is a land that exists because of men like these, and we Hobbits are who we are because of them. It was clear that the Traditionalists and the Activists had other things on their mind.

Frodo is proud of both his Great Grandfathers. Frodo has no idea what motivated either one, and he has no idea what either truly believed. Frodo loves "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" as well he does the haunting memories of where he was born, "early on a frosty morn." Frodo knows only that after that War they both went home, and Frodo would never do anything or join any group that failed to recognize that is what we all, eventually, must do.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:32 PM EDT
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Tuesday, October 4, 2005
To Fight The Unbeatable Foe
Mood:  bright
Topic: "Why Black Folks Cheered"
Ten years ago Frodo heard the news on the radio. Simpson was "Not Guilty" according to a jury of his peers. Perhaps the voiced opinion which came closest to Frodo's opinion at the time was that the "City and County of Los Angeles was so incompetent that they were unable to frame a guilty man." Not unlike many Citizens of Middle Earth, Frodo was most surprised at the cheering, the jubiliant reaction of nearly every black person he knew. It was inexplicable. A man had gotten away with murder, and people cheered. Perhaps more of the world was Republican than Frodo had ever imagined?

This evening, "Frontline" presented a non-invasive, non-celebratory analysis of what transpired and a somewhat historical perspective on what it all means today. Frodo learned many things from the PBS presentation. It further convinced Frodo that Public Television must be preserved.

The presenters made the case that Orenthal James Simpson was a black man readily accepted into the white man's world. Simpson was accepted because he accumulated all the assets of white America, wealth, celebrity, and the rest. As long as he retained those assets, he would continue to be a part of white America.

The presenters allowed black America to state the opinion that that status is what made the case so spectacular. Simpson lost that status in the eyes of white America when he was accused of the heinous murders of Ronald Goldman and Nicole Brown-Simpson. It was no longer a "white-on-white" crime, it was a black man killing a blonde-haired white woman with all the value-added assets of wealth, celebrity, etc. To black America it was the reality of the fact that one is never more than a "nigger in white man's clothes."

Black folks cheered because it was the first time that one of them played the white man by his own rules, and lived to tell about it.

It was clear that very few Citizens of Middle Earth today believe that Simpson was clearly innocent of the crimes. Many, it seems, believe the verdict was due to the strategic failures of the prosecution, and the inclusion of any participation in the trial by the infamous police detective, Mark Fuhrman. Many also believe that the defense was strategically balanced to discredit the method in which evidence was accumulated, and to challenge its' incorruptibility. Many others still believe the jury was stupid.

Frodo was engaged by the fact that the trial is a centerpiece of classroom discussion in Law Schools throughout the country. Now if Law Schools could only find a way to assimilate "ethics" into their curriculum?

Ten years have passed, and John Edwards had to remind us that we are still "Two Americas." Frodo is ashamed that so many never understood what he meant.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:00 PM EDT
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Monday, October 3, 2005
And so on, And so on, And Scooby-Dooby-Dooby-Dooby
Mood:  not sure
Topic: "Another Single Woman?"
Frodo poses a hypothetical question for hypothetical readers on a hypothetical subject, much in the manner of former (and thank heavens for that) Education Secretary William Bennett. Suppose you were introduced to a Hobbit who was born in New York City, raised in New York City, educated in New York City, employed in New York City, and of course lived in New York City? Would you, oh wordly and sensitive reader, sustain any preconceived notions about that Hobbit even before a single word had been spoken?

The latest name submitted for consideration as an Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States was born in Dallas, Texas. She was educated at SMU (the initials of an institution which received the "death penalty" for ethical violations in the conduct of its' football program). She was the President of the "Bar" in Dallas, and her residence is (as you have already anticipated) in that city without trees.

Dallas is the town that killed John Kennedy. The professional football stadium resembles a commode with the lid raised. To purchase a mixed drink a visitor must join a "private club," since public drinking is not permitted. No other large city in America has ever had a prime-time television show entitled solely with its' name, as has "Dallas." Residents of the "Metroplex" have to water the foundation of their homes. It is the home of the Southern Baptist Convention (you know, the guys who boycotted "Disneyland"). And true it is that there are no trees, anywhere.

Frodo has a preconceived notion about anyone who has spent the majority of their life in such a terrible place. He feels the same way about a resident of Dallas as he does about Saddam Hussein, or William Bennett.

Frodo understands that Ms. Miers spent all of her time in the public library in Dallas, and that that is where she first met George W. Bush. He was looking at pictures in THE NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC (which probably explains his fascination with a certain member of his Administration). Frodo is hopeful that Ms. Miers will develop an affinity for the other "single" on the Court, and that Justice Souter will expose her to his etchings.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:06 PM EDT
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Sunday, October 2, 2005
Where Seldom is Heard a Discouraging Word
Mood:  chatty
Topic: "One Act Play"
"Before we begin our regular Cabinet Meeting, I'd like to introduce a special guest. Mr. Frodo is here at the suggestion of the White House Communications Director, Mr. McClellan. You all know Mr. McClellan, don't you?"

All heads nod.

"Well, Mr. McClellan has been following Mr. Frodo's 'blog,' and has found it to be very critical of us. By the way, ya'll do know what a 'blog' is, don't ya?"

All heads nod.

"Well, Mr. Frodo here, and if you would Mr. Frodo please sit up straight. Being as small as you are some of the Cabinet may have trouble seeing you. Have we got some telephone books for Mr. Frodo?"

All faces smile.
A United States Marine brings in the A-L portion of the New York Metro White pages.
"There that's better, kin ya'll see him now?"
All heads nod.

"As I was sayin', Mr. Frodo here is going to ask us to respond to some of the criticisms being made of our Administration, and he has promised to publish our responses in his widely-disseminated 'blog.' Mr. Frodo, according to Mr. McClellan, now ya'll do know who McClellan is, right?"

All heads nod.

"Mr. Frodo, we're told is an honorable and brave Hobbit whose major concern is that the weakest and most vulnerable are fairly represented. We all understand that, since I am the (Trumpet Sounds from off-stage) 'The Compassionate Conservative.'"

All heads nod.

"Mr. Frodo, please ask your first question, and please make use of our precious time?"

"Thank you, Mr. President. I am honored to be here, and I promise that I will be direct, fair, and brief. Mr. President, boxers or briefs? Just kidding."


"Mr. Snow, would you respond? The President said during the 2000 campaign that he would simply meet with the OPEC members and negotiate with them to maintain oil prices at the then $25 per barrel in order to keep prices in line during his term as President. Today the price is almost $70 per barrel, and gasoline is more than four times the retail price it was when you, sir, took office."

"Yes, well, the President has met with many members of OPEC and the negotiations are continuing."

All heads nod.

"OK, well let me be a little more specific in my question for Mr. Cheney. Mr. Cheney, you were quoted recently as saying that the Iraqi insurgency is in its' 'last throes.' Yet nearly every military commander on public record has disputed that assertion. Were you misinformed or perhaps, misquoted?"

"By that I mean that based on evidence at my disposal we are witnessing a positive trend to that conclusion."

All heads nod. A Marine entered and delivered a tumbler to the President.

Frodo does not raise his eyes from the paper on the table.

"Mr. Chertoff. With a countless number of helicopters located at Fort Polk, only an hours' flight from New Orleans, why didn't you act to see that they delivered food and water to the people trapped on Interstate 10 in the first several days after Hurricane Katrina struck?"

"Neither the Mayor of New Orleans nor the Governor of Louisiana asked for them."

All heads nod. Chertoff stared daggers. The Marine re-appeared and delivered another tumbler, with ice, to the President.

"Mr. Rumsfeld, sir, does it cause you any personal discomfort that so many of the casualties suffered by US troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have involved inadequate armor on vehicles or the absence of personal body armor?"

Rumsfeld's lower lip touched the tip of his nose, and he said "Our military personnel are sufficient in number and in training. Stuff happens in war, and believe me, stuff does happen."

The Marine removed the first two tumblers from in front of the President, and replaced them with another.

No one else moved.

"Thash a good answer Donnie," said the President. All heads nod.

"Mr Gonzales."

"Lesh make this do as the last question Mishter Frootoe."

"Yes Sir, thank you. Mr. Gonzales, given the indictment of Congressman DeLay, the SEC investigation of Senator Frist, the Special Prosecutor's pending report on the Valerie Plame' disclosure, the replacement of Mr. Brown at FEMA, the legal investigations of Mr. Abramoff and his alleged ties to Mr. DeLay and Ralph Reed and Grover Norquist, shouldn't you, as a member of the Bar, recommend to the President that he retain personal legal counsel?"

No one moved. "Now boy," said the President, "why would Ah need anudder lawyer. I got a million a dem?"

All heads nod.

"Mr. Fruitoes, we've had a real good time, and glad you could join us. You just report back on that 'blog' a yers what we agreed, and have a nice day."

All heads nodded as the Marine scooped up Frodo's papers and ushered him through the doorway. As he pulled the door shut behind him the President was heard to say, "Get me that asshole, whatizname, you know the little bald guy who's alwayus talkin' to reporters. I wanna fire his ass."

Frodo thought about the meeting for a long time after. He wonders to this day who was pulling on all those strings on all those heads. Exit stage left.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:43 PM EDT
Updated: Sunday, October 2, 2005 9:48 PM EDT
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