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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
"On Her Code?" (4)
"On Vacation, I'm Sure"
"One Act Play"
"One Down, More Comin'"
"One For the Good Guys"
"One More Round" (4)
"One Orbit of the Sun"(2)
"Only 434 More to Go" (2)
"Opportunity Sox" (3)
"Or the Yellow Peril?"(6)
"Osama Can You See?" (2)
"Our God Is Better" (3)
"Our Town" (5)
"Our Town" (8)
"Out Damned Spot (2)"
"Out of Kilter" (5)
"Out of the Ashes" (4)
"Overdue Books" (3)
"Pace Car" (3)
"Painted Toenails?"(4)
"Panic Attack"(10)
"Pants on Fire"
"Parade of Horribles"(4)
"Part Two" (5)
"Pass the Malais" (4)
"Passion Flowers" (5)
"Past is Prologue" (3)
"Pat bin Laden"
"Patsy for America"
"Peaceful Easy Feelin"(3)
"Peacetakescourage" (3)
"Permanent Vacation" (5)
"Persons of the Year"
"Philadelphia Bunnyface?"
"Philosopher Kings" (4)
"Pickled Cabbage?"
"Picture of Frodo"(5)
"Pilot Wales" (2)
"Pirate Booty"
"Pit Bull Revenge"(4)
"Pius Baloney I" (7)
"Place of Good Abode" (3)
"Plaque 42W, Line 12"
"Play It Again, Sam"
"Play Melancholy Baby"
"Play the Frodo Game"(6)
"Playin' Possum" (3)
"Poland Parole Patrol"(5)
"Polish or Polish?"
"Poll Results Just In"
"Poly Sci 101"(9)
"Poor People"
"Pope for a Day" (10)
"Pope-a-Dope" (5)
"Popeil Veg-o-matic"
"Potty Training" (3)
"Power Surge"(9)
"Pray for, Gas?" (4)
"Pray With Me Henry" (2)
"Pre-emptive Passages"(2)
"Preemptive Invasion"
"Presidential Erection"
"Problem, Officer?" (3)
"Problem, Officer?" (5)
"Problems?" (4)
"Promises Made" (3)
"Promises To Keep" (5)
"Promises to Keep"(9)
"Proud I Am"
"Proud Walter" (5)
"Proxy Server Error" (4)
"Prudent" (10)
"Psychiatrist,5 cents"(6)
"Pugnacious Maverick"
"Pulitzer Means Squat"(8)
"Punxatawney Bush"
"Puppy Angel" (2)
"Purple Pill Please" (2)
"Putin Tang" (3)
"Qaddafi Wins, For Now"(7)
"Qualified? Yeah Right!"
"Quayle Hunting"
"Queen of Memphis"
"Queen of the Damned"
"Quittin' Time" (8)
"Quoth the Raven"(7)
"QVC and Dorothy"
"Qwest For Truth (2)"
"Radio and TV"(7)
"Rain, Rain, Go Away?"(4)
"Rainy Day in Georgia(2)"
"Raptor Rapture" (7)
"Read All About It" (5)
"Real Men Don't Shop"(4)
"Rechargin' da Shire"(11)
"Recycled Air (Gasp)" (2)
"Red Sky at Morning" (3)
"Red Sky at Morning"(5)
"Reduced Flow Flush"(5)
"Reimers' Rhymers"(5)
"Remember These?"
"Remembering Jessica" (2)
"Remote Outpost" (7)
"Render Unto Wright" (4)
"Reverend LeRoy" (3)
"Rice on Hot Tin Roof(2)"
"Rick Santa Anna"(5)
"Right Not Privilege" (4)
"Road to Damascus"
"Road Trip" (5)
"Roads Scholar" (8)
"Rocket Man"
"Rocket Man" (5)
"Rockets Red Glare" (5)
"Rocks Rox"(8)
"Roger the Dodger"(4)
"Roger Williams Sucks"(2)
"Rooty-Toot" (6)
"Rose Garden Promises"(4)
"Royal Portrait" (2)
"Rubber Ducky" (2)
"Rubio's Cube"(6)
"Rules" (6)
"Rules" (7)
"Rumblin' Bumblin'" (3)
"Rumsfeldstiltskin" (2)
"Run Eddie, Run" (5)
"Run Far, Run Fast"(7)
"Run Forrest, Run"
"Run, old hare!"
"Runaround Tsu"
"Runs in the Family" (3)
"Rwanda Go Home?"(6)
"S'long Sarong (2)"
"Sabato Knows" (2)
"Sam Shopping" (2)
"San Juan de Capistrano"
"Sandy Hook" (8)
"Santos v. Vinnick"
"Satire-Apology to Mick"
"Sauron Psalms" (2)
"Sauron's Scythe" (4)
"Savin' Gas" (4)
"SAWB" (3)
"Say Cheese"(7)
"Say It Ain't So,Jo"(4)
"Say It Ain't So,Joe" (2)
"School Holiday" (4)
"Science Marches On"
"Scooter" (2)
"Scott Free" (4)
"Sears and Loveaduck" (5)
"Second Line (2)"
"Second of Two" (4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(9)
"Seen Any Blue Swans?"(3)
"Selective Service"(8)
"September Twelfth"(5)
"Serendipity Strikes" (3)
"Serge is Working?" (3)
"Serious,For A Change"(6)
"Seven Samurai" (5)
"Sex or Gender?"
"Sexiest Man Alive"(5)
"Shaken, not stirred"(10)
"She is No Ma Kettle"
"Sheep and Museums"
"Sheep in Mindanao?"
"Shenandoah Rangers"(7)
"Shenandoah" (6)
"Shire Sunset"
"Shock and Awe" (4)
"Shoot 'em, Vern"
"Side by Side" (7)
"Sidin' With Anemone"(4)
"Silence of the Lambs"(2)
"Silent, but deadly"(6)
"Sing It Again" (4)
"Sink or Swim"
"Sir A Gut" (3)
"Six Days on the Road"
"Skull and Bones"(4)
"Skunk Cabbage" (3)
"Sleepy Time (2)"
"Slippin' and a Slidin'"
"Sludge Stimulus" (5)
"Small Businesses-Ha!"(6)
"Small Gray Planet"(2)
"Small Victories"
"Smellin' Roses"
"Smirk Jerk" (2)
"Smokin' Pesticide Dope"
"Smoochy Time" (4)
"Snazis" (2)
"Snow Tan"(11)
"Snowiches" (6)
"So Who's Sluggo?" (2)
"Social Security Reform"
"Social Security" (7)
"Socrates and Friends"(5)
"Soldier of the King"
"Soldier of the Storm(2)"
"Solitary Isolation" (3)
"Solving a Problem"(9)
"Somethin' Borrowed"(5)
"Something in Commons"(5)
"Sometimes Life Sucks"(4)
"Sorcerer's Apprentice"
"Soul Train" (5)
"Souter Rules, Dude"
"Southern Ladies" (5)
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"Space Poop" (3)
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"Spoonerized" (6)
"Spring Equal Knox" (3)
"St. George" (4)
"Stan & Ollie"(7)
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"States' Rahts" (3)
"Sticker Shock"
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"Stragedy" (2)
"Stragedy" (8)
"Strangerthan fiction"(6)
"Strip Searched" (9)
"Stupidly" (5)
"Stupor Bowl Sunday"(2)
"Subsidizing Seeds"(6)
"Sunday, Sunday"(9)
"Sunni Daze" (4)
"Supportin' da Troops"(2)
"Supportin' da Troops"(3)
"Survey Says" (6)
"Sweet Georgia Brown"
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"Take a letter, dearie"
"Take It Off Baby" (5)
"Takes a Worried Man"(4)
"Talibanme Banana"(8)
"Talkin' Turkey" (3)
"Tax Driver" (9)
"Taxpayer Assistance (2)"
"Tea Olive" (7)
"Tear Down That Wall"(4)
"Teflon Causes Cancer"
"Ten Cent Coke" (3)
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"Term Paper" (5)
"Terminal? Great!"
"Terre Bonne" (6)
"Terrible Swift Sword"(6)
"Terrible Two's" (2)
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"Tess of the Dorghis" (8)
"Texas Exes" (8)
"Thank the Academy"(4)
"Thank You Rand Paul"
"Thank You, Molly" (2)
"Thanks, Dad" (3)
"Thar She Blows"
"That Looks Like Me"(5)
"That's the way it is"(5)
"Thawt Yuze a Toad"(7)
"The 60 Year Struggle"(5)
"The Atlanta Eye" (6)
"The Blue Dog"(11)
"The Boston Massacre"(9)
"The Boys of '63" (8)
"The Brotherhood Begins"
"The Eyes of Texas"
"The Forum" (2)
"The Future is Now (2)"
"The Garden of Good"
"The Good Book" (4)
"The Good Doctor"(6)
"The Great Quixote" (9)
"The Grumpy Dwarf"(9)
"The Important Stuff"
"The Italian Stallion"
"The Litany" (6)
"The Longest Day" (5)
"The Non-Issue" (3)
"The Perfect Storm" (2)
"The Pre-Fellowship"(4)
"The Prophecy"
"The Real Rhett" (4)
"The Second Amendment"
"The Silver Sow Award"(3)
"The Splurge" (4)
"The Turtle" (3)
"The Union Label"(6)
"There is a Virginia" (2)
"They're He-ear" (4)
"Thin Ice, Frodo" (4)
"Third Strike Nuance (2)"
"This Day in History"(3)
"This, Too, Shall Pass"
"Three A.M." (4)
"Three Siblings" (4)
"Three Votes Short" (3)
"Thriller" (9)
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"Time to Cut Brush" (3)
"Time With Friends" (3)
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"To Arms, To Arms"
"To the Hoop (2)"
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"Tokyo Rush" (5)
"Tom Bombadil isDying"(7)
"Tom Bombadil Returns"(9)
"Tom" (4)
"Top Two Percent" (7)
"Tora Bora Lora. . ." (2)
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"Toro, Andalay,Toro (2)"
"Touchdown Swabbie" (3)
"Tovarich" (4)
"Tra La,Spring,Tra La"(6)
"Train Wreck"(8)
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"Travel Sucks" (4)
"Tree Fishin' (2)"
"Trees v. Forest"(9)
"Trekking Mount Doom" (2)
"Tripod Hackers?"(9)
"Trouble Sleepin'" (3)
"Truckin' for Isaiah" (3)
"Truly,Totally, Nuts"(3)
"Tuesdays with Nancy"(4)
"Tullahoma Tequila (2)"
"Tumbler" (3)
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"Two Americas" (9)
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"Unademdaze" (4)
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"Unconditional Surrender"
"Unconventional, you say?"(7)
"Underdog Shmunderdog"(4)
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"Untimely Events"
"UR Number Is Up" (7)
"Vacation Brouhaha" (3)
"Vacation Comin'" (2)
"Vandals at the Gates"(2)
"Vat of Chocolate"(6)
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"Veto Shmetoe (2)"
"Vick Drops, Cough!" (3)
"Video Thriller"(5)
"Vinson Can Gogh"(6)
"Virgin Birth" (2)
"Virginia is 4 Lovers"(4)
"Virginia Lovers" (4)
"Vom Winde Verweht" (2)
"Vote for Steve" (2)
"Vote Frodo (Not)"(7)
"W is for Wuss""
"Wait 'til Next Year" (2)
"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
"Walkin' in the Woods"(5)
"Walkin' the Dogs"(8)
"Walkin' the Walk"
"Wall of Libertad"
"War on Middle Class"(2)
"War on Tara"
"Warm Bucket of Spit"(4)
"Was Miers His Attorney?"
"Watch Mr. Wizard" (3)
"Water Into Wine" (11)
"Water into Wine?"
"Watts da plan, Man?"(5)
"Wayne Johnson"(4)
"We Make a Better Day"(5)
"We Sank a Truck"
"We Will Rock You"
"Weather Channel Follies"
"Weddin' Down South" (3)
"Wedding Bell Blues"
"Weeds Way Is Up?"(5)
"Weepy Seepy Peepee"(3)
"Welcome Home, Soldier"
"Well, Duh!"
"Well, Poop"(8)
"West Wing Redux" (2)
"What Goes Around" (6)
"What if JR Shot Back"(9)
"What is a Shimkus?" (2)
"What Mark Felt"
"What Schedule?" (2)
"What Time Is It (2)"
"What We Have Here (2)"
"What Would Mitt Do?"(3)
"What's A Cubit?"
"What's a Sgarbi?" (5)
"What, Me Worry?"
"What, Me Worry?" (3)
"Where Sun Doan Shine"(8)
"Where's Frodo?" (5)
"Where's my puppy?"(4)
"Where's the Beef?"
"Where's the Fire?"(5)
"Whither Frodo?"
"Whitman's Sampler"(6)
"Who Dat Say Who Dat?"
"Who dat?" (2)
"Who did it?" (2)
"Who Torted?"
"Who Was That Guy?" (5)
"Who's In Line?"(6)
"Who's We, White Boy?"(3)
"Why are you here"?(3)
"Why are you here?" (3)
"Why Black Folks Cheered"
"Wiccan I do for you?"(2)
"Wicked Pickett"
"Wide Stance" (4)
"Will better be?"(7)
"Willard" (7)
"Willie B had heart" (5)
"Winchester Women (2)"
"Wink at the Moon"
"Winter Solstice"
"Wishin' and Hopin'"
"Wither Channels" (5)
"Wither Weather"(9)
"Wither Weather?"(4)
"WMD in the Shire"(6)
"Words To Live By"(7)
"Workin' on Night Moves"
"Worst Candidate Ever"(8)
"Worth Waiting For?"(5)
"Write a Letter" (7)
"Writer's Block" (2)
"Wrong Again, Frodo"(3)
"Wyomin' Gloamin'" (2)
"Xmas in Shreveport"(6)
"Yahoo" (4)
"Yankee Humor" (5)
"Yankee Ingenuity"
"Yella Rose a Taxes"(4)
"Yellow Peril" (3)
"Yes, No, Who Knows?" (2)
"You Betcha" (6)
"You Put Your Eye Out"(2)
"You Snake in the Grass"
"You Take the High Road"
"Zimmerman Noted"(6)
"Zinni in Bloom (2)"
"Zounds, Sounds!" (5)
"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Mississippi Moon Won't You Keep On Shinin' On Me
Mood:  bright
Topic: "Spring Equal Knox" (3)
There is something very ominous about the advent of Spring when it is dark outside. At exactly 8:00 PM, GMT (George Mean Time), the configuration of angles and the resulting rays of the Sun, somehow, signaled the beginning of Spring in the Shire. That did not change the fact that it remains dark outside.

Frodo is excited about the impending visit of Gandalf to the Shire. Many years ago, Gandalf took note of Frodo, even though he sat in the last row of the lecture hall, when he read the first paper submitted for grade consideration by the Hobbit. The paper was entitled "Vietnam: Three Stars On a Cap," and it was a brief political analysis of the US-sponsored government of Nguyen Cao Ky. The Ky government preceeded the US-sponsored Thieu government, resulting from the fact that the two leaders switched jobs, perhaps in response to Frodo's paper.

Frodo's title for his paper emanated from a copy of Newsweek, which had a picture of Ky on the cover wearing, as one might expect, a cap with three stars. Since little of academic consequence had then been published about Vietnam, nearly all of Frodo's research came from news periodicals. Frodo had been warned that references such as that were dangerous, and would be harshly considered. Frodo however, was not to be deterred, because he wanted to put his thoughts down on paper, and he wanted to have someone older, wiser, judge his thought process.

When Gandalf handed the paper back to Frodo, he called him aside and congratulated him for receiving the highest grade in class. The analysis, he said, "is as good as I have read, particularly by a college freshman." Frodo protested, citing his lack of true reference material, and Gandalf dismissed the argument. "It is not the reference, it is the manner in which you presented your analysis that is important. What is your Major, Mr. Frodo?"

Frodo has often said that had he attended Cornell University, rather than the College of the Shire, and gone into a Freshman Astronomy Class under Dr. Carl Sagan, that Frodo would probably have become an astronomer. That is the impact that Gandalf had on the Halfling from that day forward.

Many times Frodo feels he has let Gandalf down, by failing to meet many of the goals that Gandalf set for Frodo. Many times Frodo let things slide by, just because he knew that he could get away with it. Frodo thinks about that nearly every day, and tries harder and harder so that he can do better in his own mind, than he did for Gandalf. Frodo is so much more than he would otherwise have been had it not been for Gandalf.

Frodo and Sam will share an evening with Gandalf and his life's companion. It will be dark outside for sure, but who says that Springtime exists only in the sunshine?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:35 PM EDT
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Monday, March 19, 2007
But I Still Haven't Found What I'm Lookin' For
Mood:  rushed
Topic: "For More Years" (3)

Frodo noticed the black-and-white photo taped to the wall above the young man's desk.  Not recognizing the subject, Frodo asked who it was?  With a sly grin the young man told Frodo that "he was the greatest civil servant in American History."  Frodo still had no idea who the slender young man with the narrow tie and double-breasted suit could have been.  He was truly an ordinary face in an ordinary photograph.  Frodo simply stared at the young man as he said "Eliott Ness."

The Treasury Department Agent in charge of the investigation that brought Al Capone  to justice was Eliott Ness.  Later made famous by Robert Stack in a TV Series called "The Untouchables," and by Kevin Costner in an overdone Hollywood extravaganza, Eliott Ness was a guy doing his job.  The pressure and, indeed, the danger, was as intense as that faced by the citizen soldier on the field of battle.

That pressure, and that danger, are a metaphor for the task faced by young men and women today a long, long way from home.  They are not fighting a war.  They are up against organized crime.  

The Shiite Militia of al-Sadr and his ilk provides "protection" to their subscribers, at the behest of their "Godfather." 

Sunni insurgents, dressed as police officers, commit mass murder and torture in the same brutal fashion as occurred at the "St. Valentine's Day Massacre."

The police authorities are riddled by bribery and political favoritism.

The governmental bodies are powerless against the criminals, and the honest ones are "rubbed out" as quickly as possible.

Cooperation with legitimate authority by private citizens is answered by violence and assassination.

An insatiable demand, and the subsequent spiraling cost, for a consumer product feed the coffers of the criminal elements.

Frodo could go on all day.  Iraq is Chicago, as once we knew it.  There is a point to be made which, so far, has eluded  all but the most astute of the behavioralists.  Despite the violence, despite the pithy pronunciations of America's boob-in-charge, despite the national resources thrown recklessly to the sub-Saharan winds, for the past four years the United States of America has fought criminals as if they were an indigenous population fighting against an oppressing occupier.  These are not tribes with names like Apache, or Shawnee, or God forbid, even Mohican.  There is no enemy army, there is nothing more than sub-human behavior which Americans have long identified as "gang warfare."  It is the Sharks, and it is the Jets, and in other circumstances we could see them as Italian, or Irish, or Puerto Rican.

Eliott Ness was given a job to do, and the resources available to him were miniscule and finite.  Eliott Ness figured out that enforcing the law meant that he had to establish order by first "cutting off the head of the snake."  Al Capone went to jail for income tax evasion, on a sentence of eleven years.  The stranglehold of the gangs on Chicago, and subsequently their mere presence in America, collapsed.  A stable government and judicial processes followed, slowly.   Paul Bremer was certainly no Eliott Ness.  Unfortunately, neither is anyone else.  That's why what they have done was ass-backwards, and that is why our young men and women will die there, for more years.  The snake is among us, and he strikes when it suits him.  The tragedy is that now, we don't even know who he is.




Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:22 PM EDT
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Thursday, March 15, 2007
You Have No Heart, You Have No Shame
Mood:  on fire
Topic: "MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
The Army Corps of Engineers installed 34 pumps at three major drainage canals in the City of Orleans last year, after Hurricane Katrina, in preparation for future flood surges. Upon completion, one of the Corps of Engineers own inspectors reported that the pumps were defective and would likely fail in a storm. This Wednesday, Mr. Donald Powell, the Bush Administrations' Gulf Coast Hurricane Recovery Czar said he was never shown the memo, and he had been personally assured that the design and construction under the $26.6 Million contract was working properly. The pumps however, have been plagued by excessive vibration, overheated engines, broken hoses, and blown gaskets.

"Hey, that's close enough for government work, isn't it?." goes the old adage.

Actually, Mr. Frodo discovered a couple of very interesting facts that most people may have missed in this nationally-covered story. It seems that the manufacturer of the pumps on behalf of the Army Corps of Engineers is a private company out of Deerfield Beach, Florida, by the name of Moving Water Industries (MWI). MWI is owned by J. David Eller and his sons. The Justice Department (perhaps one of the 8 US Attorneys recently in the news may have been active here) sued MWI in 2002, accusing the company of fraudulently helping Nigeria (the paragon of business ethics themselves) obtain $74 Million in taxpayer-backed loans for over-priced and unnecessary water-pump equipment. The case has not yet been resolved.

The real item of interest is that MWI is very politically active. Mr. Eller, it seems, has donated about $128,000 since 1996 predominantly to the Republican Party. Mr. Eller, it seems, was a business partner in a venture entitled "Bush-El" with Mr. Jeb Bush, whose function was to market MWI pumps. Want to guess to whom Ole Jeb marketed the dysfunctional pumps?

Well now dear reader, isn't that just enough to warm the cockles of a Mother's heart? First there was her son, Neil, who got caught up in the massive S & L scandal a few years back. Then there was her often tipsy son, George, who is worldly regarded as the most ineffective leader ever. Now, here comes Jeb, the religion-switching afficionado of Terry Schiavo who is involved with a partisan crook.

No wonder the Old Man keeps fainting. Frodo almost feels sorry for George H.W. and Barbara, almost. Frodo has long felt that crappy kids are the result of crappy parents. Touche.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:38 PM EDT
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Wednesday, March 14, 2007
All My Trials Lord, Soon Be Over
Mood:  vegas lucky
Topic: "Frodo's Final Four" (3)
John McCain (R-Az) has posted his brackets for the 2007 NCAA College Basketball Championship Tournament (commonly referred to as the "Final Four")on his Web Site. That would not be a particularly unique observation if absent the fact Senator McCain had come out publicly against gambling. Well, thinks Frodo, if a decorated War Hero can do it, why can't I? James Dobson and the Newt Gingrich "I have sinned against you, My Lord" retinue will have to stand aside while Frodo joins the sinners and tells all the world that he actually picked the NCAA Championship winner in 1985. He hasn't even scratched since.

The Midwest Regional is dominated by Florida, who returns virtually their entire team from last season when they won the whole thing. Unless all of their starting players break their jockstraps at precisely the same moment, it will be impossible for Florida to lose. Their closest contest will be with the University of Oregon. Frodo will lose interest when Georgia Tech exits in the second round.

The East Regional will be won by Texas, who has the single best player in the country. Unfortunately he has to play with people dumb enough to reside in Texas, and their superior basketball skills will prove subordinate to their stupidity, and they will be crushed once they reach the Final Four. North Carolina, usually, would make mincemeat of a team as flawed as Texas, but the Tarheels have devoted this entire basketball season to an imitation of talent, obfuscated by cash payments to the Widows and Orphans Fund of the Basketball Referees of America.

Kansas will rule in the West, and they will make a good showing against Florida. Frodo likes the underdog Salukis from Southern Illinois. Those guys can play. They will bring pride to their school, and they will also, unfortunately, spawn a million questions about just what in the blazes a Saluki happens to be? Frodo hates this bracket because Pittsburgh plays there. Frodo has never correctly predicted Pittsburgh's performance in this tournament. In truth, Frodo kind of likes the town, he's happiest though, visiting on the 10 days when the temperature is above freezing.

Memphis, like the City for which it is named, is over-hyped and underperforming. Although they win the South, they will shrivel when the game requires more than raw athletic talent. It is scary for Frodo to refer to Florida as being comprised of smarter players than any other team, except, of course, for Tennessee. The game between Tennessee and Virginia will be a reprise of the November elections, when UVA helped save America, at least temporarily, by dumping George Allen. The geniuses in Tennessee passed over Harold Ford, and put in something called a "corker." Frodo will stand and cheer for the spoiled, oversexed, and American, team from Charlottesville.

What truly bothers Frodo about all of this is the fact that he, traditionally, always roots for the best academic school (which is why he is never able to root for Auburn). The University of Pennsylvania faces Texas A&M in the first round of the South Region, and Frodo sells out to the jocks. Silently, he will watch the Quakers bob-and-weave and work incredibly hard, only to be crushed like pumpkins by guys all of whom are at least seven feet tall.

Besides, Texas A&M may be the place where they display "My Pet Goat" when the all the collected readings of George W. Bush are put on display.

Go Quakers.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:48 PM EDT
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Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Then Sings My Soul, My Savior God to Thee
Mood:  hug me
Topic: "Here's Your Watch" (3)

Frodo is relieved to learn today that the Chief of Staff to the Attorney General of the United States has resigned.  This act of civil servitude trumps the responsibility taken by Attorney General Gonzales for the latest faux pas/incompetent act/illegal action (pick one) by the least effective national administration in any western nation since the dawn of the Industrial Age.

Frodo feels it is a substantial understatement to merely refer to this as the "worst Presidential Administration in American History."

In keeping with the tradition of this Administration, responsibility is taken in words, but blame, like offal, flows downhill to the lowest possible denominator.  The Attorney General, in the eyes of the President, is doing almost as fine a job as was the former Director of FEMA, the infamous "Brownie."  To the President's credit, he did not apply a similar nickname to the Attorney General.  He was, however, overheard humming the tune to "La Cucaracha."

The actual pleasure taken in today's resignation has nothing to do with the nameless, faceless, clueless former Chief of Staff to the Attorney General.  Frodo was pleased to note that the guilty pleader did not use an initial, a middle name, and a surname.  The consistency of E. Howard Hunt, G. Gordon Liddy, and now I. Scooter Libby as criminal automatons for Republican Presidents has detracted from what used to be a literary tradition, a la F. Scott Fitzgerald for one.

Frodo has often thought that if we were not a halfling, he would go by his first initial.  It is nice to know that not everybody who does so is a buffoon.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:21 PM EDT
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Monday, March 12, 2007
I'm Just Sitting Here Watchin' The Wheels Go Round And Round
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: "Dubai-Bye" (3)

Frodo admits to being wishy-washy when the issue of foreign trade is discussed.  Everybody involved makes good arguments, and Frodo changes his mind relative to his own position almost as often as George W. Bush drools spittle on his tie (Note that he has taken to wearing ties much less often these days). 

Frodo believes, on one hand, that good business is that which is done for the least cost.  On the other hand, Frodo believes that the loss of jobs in the Shire is a very bad thing.  Simultaneously however, Frodo also recognizes that progress comes about because of competition.  The creation of wealth throughout Middle Earth occurs because more and more consumers have the capacity to buy more and more items.  The tragedy of the plant closing, and the loss of income falls however, on those least able to deal with change.  It is a debate worthy of debate.

One of the major bones of contention includes the acronyms associated with NAFTA.  Every in-tune individual remembers Presidential candidate H. Ross Perot referring to the "great sucking sound" to demonstrate the loss of jobs in America if NAFTA were enacted.  Admittedly, many manufacturing facilities have found it advantageous to relocate to locations, internal and external, where labor is less expensive or more plentiful.  Increasing the income levels in those areas has, indeed, created a whole new class of consumers, eager for goods and services however, and that has been a big factor in continued economic growth

Academics aside, Frodo takes note of the latest corporate move outside the Continental United States.  Dick Cheney's old company, you know when he was a "Captain of Industry" (as opposed to his present role of lying, scum-sucking, warmonger), Halliburton, has announced the relocation of its' corporate offices from Houston to Dubai.  Frodo has carefully analyzed all identifiable factors in order to determine what exactly the impetus might be for such a move.  Heaven knows, even old Ross never anticipated Dubai as the scene of the shift of corporate decision-making; certainly Mexico would have been a decision more in line with the traditional wisdom.

Frodo has concluded that the boys in the Board Room have decided that it is good business to move the company closer to the war than it is to move the war closer to the company.  Besides, if they can keep this thing going for another couple of years, then they will be able to start hiring Americans as out-sourced employees.  Contract workers, as we all know, do not receive any benefits, like health insurance. 

Think of the benefits, your new out-sourced troops will be Americans, and you don't have to worry about taking care of them if they get hurt on the job.  Frodo understands that former Lt. General Kiley may be available to institute the program.    

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:49 PM EDT
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Saturday, March 10, 2007
Ooops, There Goes Another Billion Kilowatt Dam
Mood:  accident prone
Topic: "Legs Diamond" (3)

Mary Tyler Moore's legs were featured in "Richard Diamond," not "Peter Gunn."  Because the music of Henry Mancini did accompany "Peter Gunn," Frodo has apparently merged the memories and produced an obfuscation of fact.  It would have been easy enough for Frodo to simply "Google" his assertion and avoided the need, in his mind, for correction.  Arrogance is not limited solely to incompetent, brush-clearing, deciders.  Sometimes good guys make mistakes, too.

Frodo is still upset that Georgia Tech lost to Wake Forest in three overtimes. 

 Baptists suck. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:10 AM EST
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Friday, March 9, 2007
Simply The Best, Better Than All The Rest
Mood:  flirty
Topic: "Legs" (3)
In the days of black-and-white TV, there were times when every new show had a theme. There were Cowboy shows, and name likes "Cheyenne," "Yancey Derringer," "The Rebel," and "Gunsmoke" dominated programming for several years. Doctors like "Ben Casey," "Dr. Kildare," and "Marcus Welby, MD" made household names of actors, young and old. Frodo remembers today, for two very good reason, the days that were dominated by the Detectives, like "Peter Gunn."

When the theme music, that of Henry Mancini, signaled the opening credits for the show starring Craig Stevens in the title role, young Frodo was surely aflight into the living area to catch the introduction on the Muntz. In truth, it was the opening itself which had Frodo's imagination agog, and to this day he cannot recall ever watching any of the show itself which followed. Frodo had developed an interest in those legs.

Young actress Mary Tyler Moore sat with her legs crossed amid the television screen. Only those supple and shapely limbs, through which the eye could see the series star framed in an action pose, would ever mark her participation in the series itself. The dancer-turned-actress was noted first for those gams which accelerated her entry into TV and the Comedy shows which would follow the Detectives by some years. Those legs also had a lot to do with the formation of a sensual appreciation for a well-turned ankle by a certain Hobbitt.

The Men of Gondor gathered again this day, to embark on another adventure into a known spot which had never been visited by them before. This time they chose the Studio tour of CNN in Atlanta. Frodo was excited. Although Paula Zahn is far from his favorite source of commentary or presentation of the news, Frodo has always had a deep appreciation, if not a positive admiration, for her legs. They seem to rise from yesterday's beginning, and apparently culminate somewhere in the dreams of tomorrow. The possibility that Frodo could approach in physical proximity to those legs had him, well, wistful might be an appropriate term.

Alas, Ms. Zahn was in New York this day. Although Frodo was disappointed, he did get to see a piece of the Berlin Wall, and to ogle the spot where "H.R. PufnStuf" had been filmed. Sometimes, Frodo supposes, the anticipation is better than the realization anyway. She probably would have had a run in her stocking, and Frodo would have been grossed out.

Sam has been out of town for a week. Can't you tell?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:34 PM EST
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Tuesday, March 6, 2007
When You See The Southern Cross For The First Time
Mood:  lazy
Topic: "Runs in the Family" (3)
Frodo is intimately aware of the fact that certain things, in the American South, "run in the family." There always seems to be a family secret; be it an uncle who had children out-of-wedlock, a niece who liked girls more than boys, a sister who liked the sauce, or some sort of funky disease that made family members disappear for years on end. These happenings were rarely discussed above whispers, and it would take decades for anyone to discern the truth behind the rumor. Occasionally, one of these stories comes to public light, and Frodo can't help but sit in the front row, snickering like a teen-ager.

Russ Pritchard, an appraiser who was a frequent guest on ANTIQUES ROADSHOW, specialized in items from the Era of the American Civil War. In 1995, Pritchard approached the family of George E. Pickett, and offered to purchase some family heirlooms. Pickett, as all Hobbits remember, led a courageous but disastrous assault on the enemy front-lines at Gettysburg on July 3rd, 1863, which wiped out his division, and virtually assured the Southern defeat.

Representing a museum in Pennsylvania, Pritchard offered to pay $87,500 and an all-expenses-paid trip to Costa Rica for the family of George E. Pickett V, the great-great grandson of the infamous Confederate General. Thinking they had gotten a "great deal," the Picketts were somewhat chagrined to learn, two years later, that Pritchard had immediately turned around and sold the heirlooms to the museum for $870,000. Needless to say, the employment of barristers commenced throughout. It was clear from the beginning however, that the Picketts' had simply not done their homework, and had relied on the word of someone they had seen on TV.

There are a couple of finer historical points which bear notice. General George E. Pickett, finished dead last in the West Point Class of 1846. His Great-Great Grandson also attended West Point, but dropped out after 11 weeks on campus. The good General, after the War, sold insurance and died at age 50 in 1875. His Great-Great Grandson is married to a surfing instructor, and his current personal occupation has not been determined.

Frodo notes that these easy-going people are a prime example of "runs in the family." It would be Frodo's suggestion, dear reader, that it would just make good sense to not purchase life insurance sold by anyone named Pickett, or to even consider the "wild, wild surf" with families who would exchange their heirlooms for a trip to Costa Rica.

Frodo is willing to wager that the Great-Great Grandson voted for George W. Bush, twice.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:40 PM EST
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Monday, March 5, 2007
If I Stay Here With You Girl, Things Just Couldn't Be The Same
Mood:  vegas lucky
Topic: "Getting Your Wish" (3)
There is an old adage from Bilbo's work, THERE AND BACK AGAIN, in which it is stated that one should watch what what one wishes for, because it just may come to pass. Frodo was delighted to learn that the United States of America is not the only land to face the unintended consequences of its' actions. What surprised him was who and what.

Switzerland, as a non-member of the European Union, entered into an agreement with the EU in order to open her borders to bankers, academics, and business managers. This decision is part of a series of covenants Switzerland agreed to in order to reduce trade barriers. The results have included an increase in the number of people offering sex for money throughout the country. Zurich now estimates that it contains 11 prostitutes per 1,000 people, a rate comparable to that of Amsterdam, long known for its sex trade.

Most of the new workers come from neighboring Germany and France, and the numbers have been so significant that a resulting "deflation" is taking place. The price of a "quickie" has dropped between $24 to $65 from the normal rate of $122 to $203, or so Frodo has been told. Swiss officials, trying to put a positive spin on the situation, note that these accords have resulted in a 0.5 percent boost in the gross domestic product. Frodo has no intention of commenting thereupon.

Opponents of the government have pointed out that this increase has been accompanied by an influx of unskilled workers in the construction and agricultural sectors. "This really hasn't resulted in an intellectual improvement," said Reto Jaeggi, a spokesman for the opposition Swiss People's Party. Doro Winkler, representing an unpronounceable Women's Rights group, argued however that the open border legislation has reduced the instances of illegal trafficking by human smugglers.

Maximilian Kuenzig, a Zurich resident, claims that entire neighborhoods are being abandoned by residents disturbed by the noise.

The noise?

Makes you wonder how the Bush "Guest Worker Program" might turn out, doesn't it? Frodo thinks Dick Cheney should spearhead that program. He looks like he needs a quickie. Ann Coulter, we are told, is available.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:20 PM EST
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