Frodo, Keeper of the Ring

Monday, December 5, 2005

It's Life's Illusions I Recall, I Really Don't Know Life at All
Mood:

not sure
Topic: "Frodo's Bad Day"
Sam's Father has not been doing very well, so Sam had to go and pay him a visit. Frodo could not tear himself away from Mount Doom. The weather is very threatening. Miss Ellyn, who normally visits the Shire to take care of Rocky, Fiona, Mick, Georgia, Sydney and Beau Neau had illness in her family and was unavailable. Miss Heather has been called off the Practice Squad and is the starting Middle Linebacker.

Frodo's day at Mount Doom started off with the loss of a nice piece of business. It was swiftly followed by another. When the day ended, it ended with someone not telling Frodo the truth and failing to do what they had promised. Frodo was made to look very foolish to a client.

Sam called and informed Frodo that the gallant Howard, the giver of great gifts to Frodo, was doing very poorly. Frodo is very sad for his friend, but he is even more sorry for himself.

The weather has gotten colder, and there is snow not far from Sam and Howard. When Frodo returned to the Shire, Rocky greeted him with the complete contents of his stomach, all over the kitchen floor.
Georgia decided that dinner was not in her sphere of interest. Fiona felt it necessary to dispose of the remnants. Now her tummy is grumbling.

Frodo has a small headache which seems to be gathering strength. Another US Marine was killed by a road side bomb near Baghdad. One of the starring members of Frodo's Gallant Braves has signed a free agent deal with the Los Angeles Dodgers. There is absolutely nothing on television, and the telephone keeps ringing with calls for contribution and subscription.

Did Frodo mention that it is getting colder outside?

Frodo stares into the mirror in his bathroom. The good news is that it isn't George W. Bush staring back at him.

Two days from today is the anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:11 PM EST

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Tuesday, November 29, 2005

You Made Me Feel Brand New
Mood:

a-ok
Topic: "Chariots of Fire"
January, 2000, the dawn of the new millenium. It started in the Islands of the Kiribati Republic and worked its' way all around the planet known as Earth. In virtually every land people celebrated the new century with fireworks and festival. Virtually every land.

Mehamed was awakened by the screams of his family--his father, mother, three brothers and two sisters were attacked in their sleep by hyenas and killed. Mehamed somehow escaped death but the attack left him with serious injuries to his head and face. Mehamed's father had been a herdsman in Ethiopia, and his family moved about the countryside with their herd of sheep, goats, and chickens. Suddenly, all of the life that Mehamed had known was gone.

Al and Kitty Gomez of Peachtree City, Georgia, served as host family through the efforts of Children's Cross Connection, USA, an organization that provides medical services to children in underdeveloped nations. They watched as Mehamed underwent 10 surgeries to reconstruct his face. More are scheduled. They watched as he learned to speak English in less than six months although he had never had any formal schooling. They watched as he became an integral partner to their four other children. When the time was right they adopted Mehamed.

Mehamed Gomez is now a freshman at Landmark Christian High School. He will not talk about the attack on his first family. He does say that he misses them and the life that he once knew. It is running that has helped him move on with his life.

Mehamed Gomez is the Number Three runner on the Cross Country team. "It feels good to run; it gives me something else to think about. If I don't run, I wouldn't be using the talent God gave me."

The numerous surgeries have impacted Mehamed's training, but his coach feels that he will develop into a top-notch runner. "There is one aspect of American life I cannot understand," he said. "I cannot stand to watch more than 30 minutes of television. I enjoy the outdoors."

Frodo will watch the newspapers knowing that someday he will have an opportunity to watch as Landmark Christian visits one of the schools in the Shire. On that day Frodo will go and cheer for a young man with wings upon his feet, and if truly fortunate, perhaps have the opportunity to shake the hand of Mr. Al Gomez.

Frodo believes that he will share the sidelines with a herdsman.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:14 PM EST

Updated: Tuesday, December 6, 2005 8:51 PM EST

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Monday, November 28, 2005

He Took a Hundred Pounds of Clay
Mood:

don't ask
Topic: "Presidential Erection"
Architecture is a lost art when it comes to Frodo. Maya Lin, the genius who designed the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, should feel relatively secure in the fact that Frodo could not have duplicated her design had he been given an infinite amount of time, an infinite number of monkeys, etc. Frodo appreciates the explanations given him by those who have an "eye" for such things.

Frodo has been contemplating architectural design as he has thought about the Memorial which is sure to someday commemorate the current unpleasantries in the Middle East. First off, Frodo proposes that the future Memorial should be dubbed the "Pre-Emptive Strike Monument ." In that way the "War Against Terrorism" and the "Iraq War" can be combined into one money-saving edifice. The nature of the structure itself is another matter however, and Frodo can foresee much disagreement.

The "Domino Theory" of the Vietnam War prescribed that all of the countries in Southeast Asia would fall if the United States failed to confront the Communist threat. A reverse "Domino Theory" apparently specifies that if one country in the Middle East successfully implements a capitalistic democracy then they all will. This foreign policy enigma of "one begets another" has become the justification for two similar and equally controversial wars separated by only a generation in time.

Frodo visualizes a Monument with large black tiles scattered all about the Mall. Each tile will carry white spots to signify a certain value. The tiles will touch at various points to reflect the interlock between cause and effect. As "one begets another" in the game of Dominos, so shall it be recognized in the "Pre-Emptive Strike Monument" that one stupid judgment produced another.

Now if Frodo can only figure how to incorporate George W. Bush picking his nose into the final design, then he will have caught the entire significance of the tragedy. Maya Lin, eat your heart out.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:40 PM EST

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Sunday, November 27, 2005

You Made Me Leave My Happy Home
Mood:

caffeinated
Topic: "Here's Help, Now Leave"
Frodo has always had a very good memory. He remembers exactly how he felt when the President was shot, the wonder of the night when the Astronaut stepped onto the Moon, and even the first forced kiss laid upon him by Kitty Kreft. Frodo recalls telephone numbers more than thirty years old, and can return to the front door of a home or business he visited no more than once or twice when he was a very young Hobbit. It is a very mixed blessing.

Suffering is something that also stays in memory. The loss of life and property on the Gulf Coast is an astronomical burden which weighs heavily on all the Citizens of Middle Earth. The outpouring of feeling and support for the victims has been very gratifying. Things are changing, however, and Frodo can't seem to separate the pathos from progress, and that is what is noted below.

Capitalists believe that one takes responsibility for his own life, and that even disaster comes with a point at which assistance is no longer necessary as long as the individual is mentally and physically able to fend for himself. Human beings, Frodo believes, experience inertia when torn from the normality of life. Grief and self-pity may continue as long as necessary, and sometimes they both continue longer than expected or necessary.

The capitalists and the victims are coming into conflict. The capitalists are setting dates at which temporary housing assistance ends. Complaints are seen in the media that victims seem to be "taking advantage," and are not exercising sufficient effort to find work or to re-establish their independence. The victims are hesitant to return to an area where levees remain questionably safe, where neither electricity nor water have been re-established for residences, where schools are still closed, and where the dangers of toxic waste are ever-present.

The people of Orleans were the poorest of the poor. Poverty and its' problematic causes were there all along, and they were not erased by the kindness of strangers during a crisis. The problems were merely moved into other towns and cities with the victims. Many of those towns and cities truly believed that there were no problems such as these in our great land, that they had been corrected by time.

It is too bad that people in these towns and cities do not share Frodo's memories. People make do, they just don't make do at the same level, or the same pace, or in the same manner. America has found that there are a lot more poor people than they thought, and they have no idea how to deal with the problem. They have forgotten what Abraham Lincoln said about poor people, and that God loved them.

George W. Bush returns from another vacation tomorrow, and he will tell us how well he has managed the pre-emptive war. He will tell us all that any mistakes weren't his fault, it was the result of "bad intelligence." He must think that changing subjects will make Frodo forget. He wouldn't lie about it, would he?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:00 PM EST

Updated: Sunday, November 27, 2005 9:06 PM EST

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Friday, November 25, 2005

Goin' Away For to Leave You, Might Not Come Back Anymore
Mood:

cool
Topic: "Winter Solstice"
Despite December 21st and the gradual lengthening of days that follow, Frodo knows that Winter officially entered the Shire on this date. Once heard, it is the honk that emanates from an old Model-A Ford which is the sound that compares to the Sandhill Crane, in flock, passing overhead. Frodo and Mick, the Wonder Dog, stopped their work in the gardens of the Shire and stood silently this blue sky day when the first flock passed overhead on the way to their winter feeding grounds. It seemed like just last week when they flew through vicious thunderstorms and threats of tornado to brighten the days in the marshes far to the north of the Shire.

Mick was not encouraged by the thought of cooler days despite his personal preference for the temperatures. Mick knows that Frodo will toil at Mount Doom throughout most of daylight and that games of soccer and tennis ball will be rare and brief. He watched the flock passing overhead, and turned his head to comprehend the news communicated to those below. He rushed to the lime green object at Frodo's feet, picked it up in his mouth, and held it to Frodo's hand for the requisite toss into the leaves atop the lawn at the Shire. "Hurry Mr. Frodo, there is a game afoot, and tennis balls to be returned. Hurry Mr. Frodo," said the Wonder Dog.

Frodo's preparation of the garden for the winter would have to wait. Sqirrels could scamper freely, and Mr. Beau Neau could wander unmolested as he wished, for the game would not be delayed. Frodo tossed the ball, aiming for the upper rim of a boulder which bounced the ball skyward, followed closely by the Wonder Dog using the same as a springboard to grasp the elusive ball with his back to Frodo. Twisting in midair the Wonder Dog would land facing Frodo, and the ball would be returned at breakneck speed albeit much more moist than but a moment before.

After several tosses and requisite retrieval, Mick found a cool spot to sit and rest. With great speed and leaping ability the Wonder Dog is hindered only by a lack of wind. The game, for the moment, is at an end, but both participants revel in its' outcome. Frodo returned to his tasks, and the cacophony continued overhead. Mr. Louis Armstrong had it right.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:21 PM EST

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Wednesday, November 23, 2005

You Can Get Anything You Want
Mood:

hungry
Topic: "Hatfield-vs-McCoy"
It was always cold in that part of the Shire when Thanksgiving rolled around. Usually it meant that Frodo and Sam were to travel a long distance in order to share in the victuals, the fellowship, and the football. It was an opportunity for Frodo to be waited upon, as opposed to the shared labor which Sam required of him. The perfect holiday memory was, however, clouded by the annual struggle over the dressing.

Frodo had been raised on a mushy dressing, so soft that one wouldn't even need to chew. Simply roll it around in one's mouth two or three times and let it slide lovingly down into the swelling receptacle at the end of the gullet. Sam's Mother, casting all of her other culinary talents aside, had obviously been the victim of abuse as a child. She had been introduced to a dressing which was only suitable for use as a puck by teams in the National Hockey League.

Annually, at Thanksgiving dinner, and for the remaining meals in that time period, Frodo was confronted by the presence of a hockey puck immediately adjacent to the candied yams and the green peas on his plate. At first he would tactfully observe what the other sufferers did to dispose of the disgusting geode. Sam would simply push things around on the plate, and eventually no one could tell what was left on the plate. Sam's Father had a special relationship with Prissy and Gumbo (canines of the period) who, being strong of tooth, would be able to surreptitiously down any object laid before them. Other guests simply wandered from the table to catch the "latest score" and left the brick in place.

Frodo was always trapped by the question, "How do you like the dressing? You don't seem to have eaten much of it?" Frodo's eyes met Sam's every year, and only the subtle threat of locked ocular orbits kept him from answering truthfully. Always, Frodo endured. Sam still owes Frodo, big time.

Time has passed and such a trip is no longer possible. Frodo misses the fellowship very much, so much so in fact that one more hockey puck wouldn't be so bad after all.

Happy Thanksgiving. Eat the dressing.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:06 PM EST

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Sunday, November 20, 2005

Hot, Hot, Hot
Mood:

irritated
Topic: "Congress' Schmidthead"
Frodo awoke this morning to realize that his Congressional Representative was going to make $3100 more this year than he did last year. Frodo did not give him a pay raise, he gave himself one. Had the story not appeared in the local newspaper Frodo would not have known since his Congressional Representative did not notify Frodo that he intended to vote himself a pay raise. Frodo's Congressional Representative is a Doctor, he is a Republican, and he looks like he uses his mustache as a soup-strainer.

Representative Jean Schmidt (R-Ohio) the junior-most member of the US House, winner of a special election held earlier this year, has been broadcast on most networks in a replay of her comments relative to Representative John Murtha (D-Pennsylvania). Schmidthead referred to Representative Murtha, a 37 year veteran of the US Marine Corps and winner of the Bronze Star in Vietnam, as being somewhat less than a hero for his stance suggesting a redeployment of US troops out of Iraq. Schmidthead failed to take note of the House Rule that forbids one member from publically castigating another on the House floor. Schmidthead failed to identify that she is neither a veteran of the US military, nor has she ever been decorated for her courage on the battlefield.

Frodo notes that Schmidthead defeated a young man named Hackett, who is a veteran of the Iraq Preemptive Strike, and that she must therefore feel qualified to comment on military policy.

Representative Murtha who, before the current pronouncement, never did much to excite patriotic fervor in Frodo, has reacted with a bit of class. Frodo therefore suggests that perhaps his Congressional Representative should forego his personal $3100 pay raise, and offer it to Representative Murtha. Frodo votes "Aye." "Opposed?"

Representative Schmidthead is another case in point. For her violation of House Rules Frodo suggests that she be fined $3100, and that the non-deductible gift be submitted directly to the family of PFC Jesus Fonseca. None of his family members were doctors.

Frodo votes "Aye." "Opposed?"

See how easy good government actually is? Eliminating Schmidtheads isn't really that difficult.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:02 PM EST

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Friday, November 18, 2005

You're in The Arms of The Angels, May You Find Some Comfort There
Mood:

special
Topic: "Frodo and Jesus"
Frodo remembers a day last year this time when he went to the funeral of a young man he never knew. Frodo had seen the obituary in the newspaper and noted that the public was invited. The church was very near the Shire.

PFC Jesus Fonseca, age 19, had been felled by a sniper. His body was being escorted from Iraq to the Shire, and then on to his familial home in Mexico. There were a lot of non-Hispanic citizens of Middle Earth in the church. Frodo wondered if it was important to any that some of their fellow mourners might have entered the Shire illegally?

He was just a baby. The waxen appearance of such a small body was almost too much for Frodo to bear. From the bier Frodo turned to the family and touched his heart and his lips as he had seen Sammy Sosa do so many times. It was the only thing he could think to do or to say.

Frodo has not forgotten the sacrifice of that young life, and today he thought once more about what meaning to ascribe to Jesus. Perhaps the most important aspect is that Frodo hasn't forgotten that he has attended one more funeral of an American serviceman than has George W. Bush.

Dear reader, take a moment and pause with Frodo to remember a baby named Jesus Fonseca. Let us all share in the hope that the killing will end before we stand in silence, again, next year.

Gracias.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:08 PM EST

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Down By De Seashore, Siftin' Sand
Mood:

party time!
Topic: "Frodo's Foreign Policy"
Frodo is pleased to report that he has undone the months of neglect and mismanagement by the Bush Administration relative to relationships with our Caribbean neighbors. Frodo devoted his personal time and resources to the renewal of his friendship with people who are as diverse as they are full of life. Frodo now speak like da Creole man on Dominica (pron. Dom-uh-neeek-a), or mebbe like da man on French side St. Maarten who sometime lay on da sand wid no close on. Frodo swim wid de green sea turtles on Barbados, and every where he drinka da rum punch.

Frodo learned a lot from those who traveled with him, and he will have much to offer from those perspectives in nights to come, dear reader. Frodo say "Thank you Mon, for checkin' on me, but da rum punch helped me tally me banana. Day Oh, Day Oh, come de light and me need go bed."

Frodo learned that he is now the titular head of all those who truly believe in the Gospel of Louis Armstrong. "I see skies of blue. . .and I say to myself, What a Wonderful World. Oh yeah!"

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:11 PM EST

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Friday, November 4, 2005

Aye Calypso a Story toTell
Mood:

happy
Topic: "Pirate Booty"
Mick the Wonder Dog, Fiona, and Georgia are safely ensconced at Camp Kennel. Rocky, Beau Neau, and Sydney will be visited daily by Miss Ellyn until Frodo and Sam return to the Shire on November 15th.

The Spanish Main, the Dutch East Indies, the Sandwich Islands, around the Horn, "Captain Blood," Long John Silver and young Jim 'awkins, pieces of eight, walk the plank, the Jolly Roger, and "The Ghost and Mrs. Muir."

Aye Matey, picture Frodo with a peacock plume atop his cap and a silk shirt open to the navel, with a scarlet sash about his waist. That is, at least until the late seating for dinner is called.

"Ya got any rum to go with that chateaubriand, ya swab?"

Fair sailing until Frodo returns.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:48 PM EST

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