Make your own free website on Tripod.com
Blog Tools
Edit your Blog
Build a Blog
View Profile
« August 2005 »
S M T W T F S
1 2 3 4 5 6
7 8 9 10 11 12 13
14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27
28 29 30 31
You are not logged in. Log in
Entries by Topic
All topics  «
" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"A-Train"
"AAARRRGGGHH" (6)
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Balls"(10)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"bitch,bitch,bitch"(6)
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Bushenomics"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Checkmate"(5)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Colosseum"
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"DevelopmentalStudies"(4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"DroughtExitStragedy"(3)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"ERA"
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hatfield-vs-McCoy"
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Homeless"
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"Impregnated"(10)
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"MatriculationMadness"(5)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"McCan't"(9)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Memories"(10)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mudbums"(9)
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"Nevermore"(6)
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"Nkosi"
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"OkefenokeeArtichokee"(3)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
"On Her Code?" (4)
"On Vacation, I'm Sure"
"One Act Play"
"One Down, More Comin'"
"One For the Good Guys"
"One More Round" (4)
"One Orbit of the Sun"(2)
"Only 434 More to Go" (2)
"Op-Ed"
"Opportunity Sox" (3)
"Or the Yellow Peril?"(6)
"Osama Can You See?" (2)
"Our God Is Better" (3)
"Our Town" (5)
"Our Town" (8)
"Out Damned Spot (2)"
"Out of Kilter" (5)
"Out of the Ashes" (4)
"Overdue Books" (3)
"Pace Car" (3)
"Painted Toenails?"(4)
"Panic Attack"(10)
"Pants on Fire"
"Parade of Horribles"(4)
"Part Two" (5)
"Pass the Malais" (4)
"Passion Flowers" (5)
"Past is Prologue" (3)
"Pat bin Laden"
"Patsy for America"
"Peaceful Easy Feelin"(3)
"Peacetakescourage" (3)
"Permanent Vacation" (5)
"Persons of the Year"
"Philadelphia Bunnyface?"
"Philosopher Kings" (4)
"Pickled Cabbage?"
"Picture of Frodo"(5)
"Pilot Wales" (2)
"Pirate Booty"
"Pit Bull Revenge"(4)
"Pius Baloney I" (7)
"Place of Good Abode" (3)
"Plaque 42W, Line 12"
"Play It Again, Sam"
"Play Melancholy Baby"
"Play the Frodo Game"(6)
"Playin' Possum" (3)
"Poland Parole Patrol"(5)
"Polish or Polish?"
"Politics-PulleyTicks"(8)
"Poll Results Just In"
"Poly Sci 101"(9)
"Poor People"
"Pope for a Day" (10)
"Pope-a-Dope" (5)
"Popeil Veg-o-matic"
"Potty Training" (3)
"Power Surge"(9)
"PPSI?"
"Pray for, Gas?" (4)
"Pray With Me Henry" (2)
"Pre-emptive Passages"(2)
"Preemptive Invasion"
"Presidential Erection"
"Problem, Officer?" (3)
"Problem, Officer?" (5)
"Problems?" (4)
"Promises Made" (3)
"Promises To Keep" (5)
"Promises to Keep"(9)
"Proud I Am"
"Proud Walter" (5)
"Proxy Server Error" (4)
"Prudent" (10)
"Psychiatrist,5 cents"(6)
"Pugnacious Maverick"
"Pulitzer Means Squat"(8)
"Punxatawney Bush"
"Puppy Angel" (2)
"Purple Pill Please" (2)
"Putin Tang" (3)
"Qaddafi Wins, For Now"(7)
"Quadrillions?"
"Qualified? Yeah Right!"
"Quayle Hunting"
"Que?"
"Queen of Memphis"
"Queen of the Damned"
"Quittin' Time" (8)
"Quoth the Raven"(7)
"QVC and Dorothy"
"Qwest For Truth (2)"
"Radio and TV"(7)
"Rain, Rain, Go Away?"(4)
"Rainy Day in Georgia(2)"
"Raptor Rapture" (7)
"Read All About It" (5)
"Real Men Don't Shop"(4)
"Rechargin' da Shire"(11)
"Recycled Air (Gasp)" (2)
"Red Sky at Morning" (3)
"Red Sky at Morning"(5)
"Reduced Flow Flush"(5)
"Reimers' Rhymers"(5)
"Remember These?"
"Remembering Jessica" (2)
"Remote Outpost" (7)
"Render Unto Wright" (4)
"Reverend LeRoy" (3)
"Revoltin'Development"(5)
"Rice on Hot Tin Roof(2)"
"Rick Santa Anna"(5)
"Right Not Privilege" (4)
"RNC--2036"(8)
"Road to Damascus"
"Road Trip" (5)
"Roads Scholar" (8)
"Rocket Man"
"Rocket Man" (5)
"Rockets Red Glare" (5)
"Rocks Rox"(8)
"Roger the Dodger"(4)
"Roger Williams Sucks"(2)
"Rooty-Toot" (6)
"Rose Garden Promises"(4)
"Royal Portrait" (2)
"RSVP"
"Rubber Ducky" (2)
"Rubio's Cube"(6)
"Rules" (6)
"Rules" (7)
"Rumblin' Bumblin'" (3)
"Rumsfeldstiltskin" (2)
"Run Eddie, Run" (5)
"Run Far, Run Fast"(7)
"Run Forrest, Run"
"Run, old hare!"
"Runaround Tsu"
"Runs in the Family" (3)
"Rwanda Go Home?"(6)
"S'long Sarong (2)"
"Sabato Knows" (2)
"Sam Shopping" (2)
"San Juan de Capistrano"
"Sandy Hook" (8)
"Santos v. Vinnick"
"Satire-Apology to Mick"
"Sauron Psalms" (2)
"Sauron's Scythe" (4)
"Savin' Gas" (4)
"SAWB" (3)
"Say Cheese"(7)
"Say It Ain't So,Jo"(4)
"Say It Ain't So,Joe" (2)
"School Holiday" (4)
"Science Marches On"
"Scooter" (2)
"Scott Free" (4)
"Sears and Loveaduck" (5)
"Second Line (2)"
"Second of Two" (4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(9)
"Seen Any Blue Swans?"(3)
"Selective Service"(8)
"September Twelfth"(5)
"Serendipity Strikes" (3)
"Serge is Working?" (3)
"Serious,For A Change"(6)
"Seven Samurai" (5)
"Sex or Gender?"
"Sexiest Man Alive"(5)
"Shaken, not stirred"(10)
"She is No Ma Kettle"
"Sheep and Museums"
"Sheep in Mindanao?"
"Shenandoah Rangers"(7)
"Shenandoah" (6)
"Shire Sunset"
"Shock and Awe" (4)
"Shoot 'em, Vern"
"Side by Side" (7)
"Sidin' With Anemone"(4)
"Silence of the Lambs"(2)
"Silent, but deadly"(6)
"Simba"(8)
"Sing It Again" (4)
"Sink or Swim"
"Sir A Gut" (3)
"Six Days on the Road"
"Skull and Bones"(4)
"Skunk Cabbage" (3)
"Sleepy Time (2)"
"Slippin' and a Slidin'"
"Sludge Stimulus" (5)
"Small Businesses-Ha!"(6)
"Small Gray Planet"(2)
"Small Victories"
"Smellin' Roses"
"Smirk Jerk" (2)
"Smokin' Pesticide Dope"
"Smoochy Time" (4)
"Snazis" (2)
"Snow Tan"(11)
"Snowed-in"(9)
"Snowiches" (6)
"So Who's Sluggo?" (2)
"Social Security Reform"
"Social Security" (7)
"Socrates and Friends"(5)
"Soldier of the King"
"Soldier of the Storm(2)"
"Solitary Isolation" (3)
"Solving a Problem"(9)
"Somethin' Borrowed"(5)
"Something in Commons"(5)
"Sometimes Life Sucks"(4)
"Sorcerer's Apprentice"
"Soul Train" (5)
"Souter Rules, Dude"
"Southern Ladies" (5)
"Sow's Ear from Silk"(5)
"Space Poop" (3)
"Speechifyin'" (4)
"Speedy Gonzales" (3)
"Spelling, -23" (6)
"Sperm Count" (3)
"Spiro T. Palin" (4)
"Spoonerized" (6)
"Spring Equal Knox" (3)
"St. George" (4)
"Stan & Ollie"(7)
"Startin'fromScratch"(6)
"State Dinner" (3)
"States' Rahts" (3)
"Sticker Shock"
"Stolen Bases" (3)
"Stragedy" (2)
"Stragedy" (8)
"Strangerthan fiction"(6)
"Strip Searched" (9)
"Stupidly" (5)
"Stupor Bowl Sunday"(2)
"Subsidizing Seeds"(6)
"Sunday, Sunday"(9)
"Sunni Daze" (4)
"Supportin' da Troops"(2)
"Supportin' da Troops"(3)
"Survey Says" (6)
"Sweet Georgia Brown"
"Swiss Miss" (5)
"Take a letter, dearie"
"Take It Off Baby" (5)
"Takes a Worried Man"(4)
"Talibanme Banana"(8)
"Talkin' Turkey" (3)
"Tax Driver" (9)
"Taxpayer Assistance (2)"
"Tea Olive" (7)
"Tear Down That Wall"(4)
"Teflon Causes Cancer"
"Ten Cent Coke" (3)
"Tennessee Stinks" (6)
"Term Paper" (5)
"Terminal? Great!"
"Terre Bonne" (6)
"Terrible Swift Sword"(6)
"Terrible Two's" (2)
"Tess of D'Uberville"(8)
"Tess of the Dorghis" (8)
"Texas Exes" (8)
"Thank the Academy"(4)
"Thank You Rand Paul"
"Thank You, Molly" (2)
"Thanks, Dad" (3)
"Thar She Blows"
"That Looks Like Me"(5)
"That's the way it is"(5)
"Thawt Yuze a Toad"(7)
"The 60 Year Struggle"(5)
"The Atlanta Eye" (6)
"The Blue Dog"(11)
"The Boston Massacre"(9)
"The Boys of '63" (8)
"The Brotherhood Begins"
"The Eyes of Texas"
"The Forum" (2)
"The Future is Now (2)"
"The Garden of Good"
"The Good Book" (4)
"The Good Doctor"(6)
"The Great Quixote" (9)
"The Grumpy Dwarf"(9)
"The Important Stuff"
"The Italian Stallion"
"The Litany" (6)
"The Longest Day" (5)
"The Non-Issue" (3)
"The Perfect Storm" (2)
"The Pre-Fellowship"(4)
"The Prophecy"
"The Real Rhett" (4)
"The Second Amendment"
"The Silver Sow Award"(3)
"The Splurge" (4)
"The Turtle" (3)
"The Union Label"(6)
"There is a Virginia" (2)
"They're He-ear" (4)
"Thin Ice, Frodo" (4)
"Third Strike Nuance (2)"
"This Day in History"(3)
"This, Too, Shall Pass"
"Three A.M." (4)
"Three Siblings" (4)
"Three Votes Short" (3)
"Thriller" (9)
"Thunder Road"
"Thy Name be Peace" (2)
"Tie a Yellow Ribbon" (3)
"Tiger By The Tail" (5)
"Time to Cut Brush" (3)
"Time With Friends" (3)
"Times A' Wastin'" (3)
"Title IX Disaster" (5)
"To Arms, To Arms"
"To the Hoop (2)"
"Together Again" (3)
"Tokyo Rush" (5)
"Tom Bombadil isDying"(7)
"Tom Bombadil Returns"(9)
"Tom" (4)
"Top Two Percent" (7)
"Tora Bora Lora. . ." (2)
"Torah, Torah..."(6)
"Toro, Andalay,Toro (2)"
"Touchdown Swabbie" (3)
"Tovarich" (4)
"Tra La,Spring,Tra La"(6)
"Train Wreck"(8)
"Transparency" (4)
"Travel Sucks" (4)
"Tree Fishin' (2)"
"Trees v. Forest"(9)
"Trekking Mount Doom" (2)
"Tripod Hackers?"(9)
"Trojans?"
"Trouble Sleepin'" (3)
"Truckin' for Isaiah" (3)
"Truly,Totally, Nuts"(3)
"Tuesdays with Nancy"(4)
"Tullahoma Tequila (2)"
"Tumbler" (3)
"Turkey Day Walkabout"(2)
"TW3" (3)
"Tweety Pie" (2)
"Twenty to Life" (5)
"Twismas Tunes" (5)
"Twisted Sister" (4)
"Two Americas" (4)
"Two Americas" (9)
"Two Steps Back" (4)
"Two Thousand, Ate" (4)
"Unademdaze" (4)
"Unborn in the USA" (6)
"Unbroken Circle" (7)
"Unconditional Surrender"
"Unconventional, you say?"(7)
"Underdog Shmunderdog"(4)
"Unmarked Grave" (6)
"Untimely Events"
"UR Number Is Up" (7)
"Vacation Brouhaha" (3)
"Vacation Comin'" (2)
"Vandals at the Gates"(2)
"Vat of Chocolate"(6)
"Vero Possumus" (4)
"Veto Shmetoe (2)"
"Vick Drops, Cough!" (3)
"Video Thriller"(5)
"Vinson Can Gogh"(6)
"Virgin Birth" (2)
"Virginia is 4 Lovers"(4)
"Virginia Lovers" (4)
"Vom Winde Verweht" (2)
"Vote for Steve" (2)
"Vote Frodo (Not)"(7)
"W is for Wuss""
"Wait 'til Next Year" (2)
"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
"Walkin' in the Woods"(5)
"Walkin' the Dogs"(8)
"Walkin' the Walk"
"Wall of Libertad"
"War on Middle Class"(2)
"War on Tara"
"Warm Bucket of Spit"(4)
"Was Miers His Attorney?"
"Watch Mr. Wizard" (3)
"Water Into Wine" (11)
"Water into Wine?"
"Watts da plan, Man?"(5)
"Wayne Johnson"(4)
"We Make a Better Day"(5)
"We Sank a Truck"
"We Will Rock You"
"Weather Channel Follies"
"Weddin' Down South" (3)
"Wedding Bell Blues"
"Weeds Way Is Up?"(5)
"Weepy Seepy Peepee"(3)
"Welcome Home, Soldier"
"Well, Duh!"
"Well, Poop"(8)
"West Wing Redux" (2)
"What Goes Around" (6)
"What if JR Shot Back"(9)
"What is a Shimkus?" (2)
"What Mark Felt"
"What Schedule?" (2)
"What Time Is It (2)"
"What We Have Here (2)"
"What Would Mitt Do?"(3)
"What's A Cubit?"
"What's a Sgarbi?" (5)
"What, Me Worry?"
"What, Me Worry?" (3)
"Where Sun Doan Shine"(8)
"Where's Frodo?" (5)
"Where's my puppy?"(4)
"Where's the Beef?"
"Where's the Fire?"(5)
"Whither Frodo?"
"Whitman's Sampler"(6)
"Who Dat Say Who Dat?"
"Who dat?" (2)
"Who did it?" (2)
"Who Torted?"
"Who Was That Guy?" (5)
"Who's In Line?"(6)
"Who's We, White Boy?"(3)
"Whopper"
"Whosdalederofdaclub?"(4)
"Why are you here"?(3)
"Why are you here?" (3)
"Why Black Folks Cheered"
"Wiccan I do for you?"(2)
"Wicked Pickett"
"Wide Stance" (4)
"Will better be?"(7)
"Willard" (7)
"Willie B had heart" (5)
"Winchester Women (2)"
"Wink at the Moon"
"Winter Solstice"
"Wishin' and Hopin'"
"Wither Channels" (5)
"Wither Weather"(9)
"Wither Weather?"(4)
"WMD in the Shire"(6)
"Words To Live By"(7)
"Workin' on Night Moves"
"Worst Candidate Ever"(8)
"Worth Waiting For?"(5)
"Wrinkly,White-haired"(4)
"Write a Letter" (7)
"Writer's Block" (2)
"Wrong Again, Frodo"(3)
"www.arlinbuyert.com"(9)
"Wynot"(6)
"Wyomin' Gloamin'" (2)
"Xmas in Shreveport"(6)
"Yahoo" (4)
"Yankee Humor" (5)
"Yankee Ingenuity"
"Yella Rose a Taxes"(4)
"Yellow Peril" (3)
"Yes, No, Who Knows?" (2)
"You Betcha" (6)
"You Put Your Eye Out"(2)
"You Snake in the Grass"
"You Take the High Road"
"Zimmerman Noted"(6)
"Zinni in Bloom (2)"
"Zounds, Sounds!" (5)
"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
MoveOn.org
The Return of the King
BarackObama.com
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
It Takes a Lot of Water to Wash Away New Orleans
Mood:  blue
Topic: "Poor People"
America, meet the poor people. Refugees housed in the Louisiana Superdome are relocated to Houston to be stored and exhibited in the edifice formerly known as the Astrodome. For those people who did heed the warnings and got out of New Orleans before Katrina, and who have now ended up in Houston, with no money, and limited prospects, there is, however, no room at the Inn. The Mayor of Houston is concerned about "control."

George W. Bush knocked two days off his five-week vacation, and announced his intentions to visit the devastated areas on Friday. Wanna bet that none of the people on that Interstate Bridge in New Orleans will chant "U-S-A, U-S-A"?

A plethora of seemingly obese black people have been featured players on all of the news channels as they carry stolen goods from stores all over the area. It is reported that former Senator Trent Lott's home in Pascagoula was looted. Frodo wonders if maybe some of Strom Thurmond's offspring may have been involved in that one?

It would have taken approximately $14 Billion to restore the eroded land at the mouth of the Mississippi River. The loss of soil, caused by the construction of levees by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, has been steady and significant for several years. Had a mere 10 feet of that eroded land been restored along the Louisiana coast the storm surge which accompanied Katrina would have been reduced an equivalent 10 feet. The levees would have held, the misery avoided, and the more than $26 Billion in estimated insured losses avoided.

Instead, the "poorest of the poor" may have suffered casualties in the thousands. A way of life may have ended these past few days, but most importantly America has met her poor people, and boy are they ever pissed. Frodo is certain that the cost of a gallon of gasoline is the most trivial point of all that has happened. America has suddenly noted that all of the economic indicators are not pointing in the same direction.

Nothing will ever be the same again. Just ask the people who didn't get out of those attics.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:52 PM EDT
Post Comment | Permalink
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Won't Come Back From Deadman's Curve
Mood:  d'oh
Topic: "Small Victories"
Late on a Sunday afternoon in the Shire, and Frodo sits in the Gazebo, surrounded by screening to ward off the carriers of the West Nile. Outside Fiona and Mick, the Wonder Dog, keep watch for squirrels from picket posts dug deep beneath forsythia. Birds hover to feeders in search of their favorite seed. Butterflies flit from passion flower to butterfly bush in search of their favorite nectar. The Sports, Metro, and Living sections of the paper lie at Frodo's feet.

At the hummingbird feeder hanging protectively from the shingled roof of the Gazebo, rivals contest for the rights to the sugary liquid which will soon power them onward. Sometimes arriving from the opposite direction, they occasionally appear confused by the screening and have difficulty figuring out how to get to the feeder.

Suddenly, an emergency. A hummingbird tries to penetrate the screening and hits it with sufficient force that his long proboscis is stuck in the mesh. Frodo is not prepared for this kind of event. All he knows is that the little creature is greatly distressed, and is in real danger of hurting himself. Frodo stands quickly and the ruby throat glistens in the sunlight. Frodo knows better than to touch anything, for the best of intentions could produce a broken beak, and subsequent starvation.

Frodo thinks he can see into the eyes of the hummingbird, and seems to hear a mixture of fear and pleading. Frodo takes a step forward directly toward the prisoner, and the hummingbird instinctively pulls straight back and is free.

He hovers for just a moment, probably just getting his bearings. How arrogant of Frodo to think that the pause was for any other reason.

Tomorrow we'll find a new location for the feeder. Close by, where Frodo can keep watch, but with less potential danger for innocent friends. Wisdom that would befit a President.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:34 PM EDT
Post Comment | Permalink
Thursday, August 25, 2005
I Went Down to The Audubon Zoo, And They All Asked For You
Mood:  hug me
Topic: "Sticker Shock"
"The existing and long-standing use of the word 'evolution' in our state's textbooks has not adversely affected Georgians' belief in the omnipotence of God as creator of the Universe. There can be no incompatibility between Christian faith and proven facts concerning geology, biology, and astronomy. There is no need to teach that stars can fall out of the sky and land on a flat earth in order to defend religious faith. . ."--James E. Carter, January 2005.

The State Superintendent of Schools, Republican Kathy Cox, was ordered to remove from all High School Biology textbooks a "sticker" which noted that "evolution" was a theory and that it should be considered consistent with other theories. This "sticker" is, of course, consistent with the ordered opinion of the current President of the United States, George "Wiliiam Jennings Bryan" Bushman.

Frodo was struck by the Bushman's reference to "Intelligent Design," subsequent to the Georgia ruling. Frodo smelled another attempt to paint "activist judges" as incompatible with the reasoned opinions of God-fearing American citizens. Frodo decided therefore to conduct a survey in order to determine whether former President Carter's opinion, or that of the Bushman actually mirrored public opinion in The Shire. Note dear reader that the survey was based on the responses of 100% of those to whom questions were addressed.

100% of the male feline contingent of the Shire felt that the Bushman proved himself to be an alcoholic, a junkie, a coward, and a moron, but not necessarily in that order.

100% of the female canine contingent of the Shire felt that the Bushman was entirely consistent in his behavior, noting that he has never told the truth about anything.

100% of the male avian contingent of the Shire expressed the opinion that the Bushman never did learn how to fly, to talk, or otherwise perform on his own.

100% of the male canine contingent expressed the belief that the Bushman served a purpose as a substitute fireplug.

100% of the Hobbits in the Shire are convinced that the Bushman is living proof that evolution is not without flaws.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:56 PM EDT
Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
What Ever Happened to Randolph Scott?
Mood:  cheeky
Topic: "RSVP"
Washington--Mr. Robert Novak and Mr. Karl Rove today announced that they have filed for "civil union status" in the District of Columbia. Acknowledging a "long time on-going secret affair," the happy couple proclaimed their love for each other in a public display which gagged nearly every maggot on K Street.

Responding to a question from a group of reporters, Novak labeled as "patently offensive" any insinuation that the ceremony provided "spousal immunity" for either, or both, who may be charged with Treason as a result of the investigation into the disclosure of Special Agent Valerie Plames' identity as an undercover operative of the CIA. Novak stated that he was not going to tolerate any more such abuse, and promptly walked away from the podium.

Rove was dressed in a double-breasted suit recently worn by the late Walter Brennan. Rove carried a bouquet composed of tumbleweed and skunk cabbage which was freshly picked from the farm fields in Crawford, Texas. Guests at the civil ceremony included Ahmed Chahabi, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Linda Tripp. The Reverend Pat Robertson attended, and blessed the couple with a reading from "My Pet Goat."

As the couple departed the "D.C Building," they passed through a tunnel of sabres held by members of the "Swift Boat Veterans for Truth." They were whisked away to a secret location in a convoy of SUV's with Texas license plates and Secret Service protection. They did have to stop for gas.

Neither Secretary of State Rice nor her "husb" were in attendance. Vice President Cheney was unable to attend because he remains in an undisclosed location. Novak will continue his regular column in "My Weekly Reader" when he returns, and Rove will announce his new assignment as roving reporter for The National Enquirer.

The White House acknowledged the happy event and announced that Rafael Palmiero would replace Rove as Deputy Chief of Staff.

"Live, from the South Lawn, Frodo reporting. Now back to 'Hardball'."






Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:49 PM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, August 24, 2005 8:50 PM EDT
Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Think What The Future Would be With a Poor Boy Like Me
Mood:  incredulous
Topic: "Pat bin Laden"
"Frodo."
"Yes Master"
"I would like you to build an Ark."
"Right. What's an Ark?"
"An Ark is a great ship into which you will place a mated pair of all my creations."
"Right. Does the definition of 'mated pair' include civil unions?"
"I will cause a great flood to destroy all the Earth, and only those aboard the Ark will survive."
"Right. How big is this Ark supposed to be?"
"It will be 200 cubits by 100 cubits in length and width, and will stand more than 50 cubits in heigth."
"Right. What's a cubit?"

"Master?"
"Yes Frodo?"
"Why are you doing this?"
"Frodo, of all my creations, Man has been my greatest disappointment. I fear that he has used my Word to serve Mammon, and that nothing I do can bring him back to the Path of Righteousness."
"But Master there are many who serve you with devotion and honour."
"I know that Frodo, but those who act in my Name to spread destruction upon this Earth will leave it barren and lifeless."
"Master, how can I choose amongst all thy creations but two of each? How will I know that I have picked correctly?"
"Frodo, beware of he who says he acts in my Name."

"Hi there, my name's Pat Robertson, and that's a mighty pretty Ark you got goin' there."
"Right."
"Why I'll bet it's at least 200 yards long. I know a lot about bettin' since I own my own racehorse."
"Right."
"Mr. Frodo you sure there's plenty of room for me and my racehorse on that there Ark? You know, I was out there talkin' to the Master out there about that Evil Mr. Chavez down there in Venezuela, and he told me that there is a place for all those who say they act in his Name."
"Right."

And so it came to pass that the Earth was struck by a Flood of greater proportions than ever before known. After 40 days and 40 nights, the Great Ark came to rest on Iraq. Frodo and his friends looked upon the land that had been, and all that remained was a great sign. The sign read "Mission Accomplished."

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:09 PM EDT
Updated: Tuesday, August 23, 2005 8:28 PM EDT
Post Comment | Permalink
Thursday, August 18, 2005
I'm on Top of The World Looking Down at Creation
Mood:  vegas lucky
Topic: "Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
Have you ever wondered how they take attendance at a NASCAR event? Frodo has always believed that they count the number of teeth and divide by four.

Frodo resents the presence of NASCAR and any reference to "Awesome Bill from Dawsonville" in his Sports pages in the newspaper. Sports is about sports, things that cause the participants to sweat. Sports is not about the absence of physical dexterity, strength, endurance, or hand-eye coordination. Frodo has never read a single article about NASCAR or Women's Basketball (Women's Basketball is another subject for another time, and may be headlined under "alternate lifestyles").

The Shire is in competition with several other major cities for the creation of a NASCAR Hall of Fame. Charlotte, Daytona Beach, Kansas City, and Richmond have also proffered substantial financial incentives in order to enhance the opportunity to attract this major "tourist attraction."

Are these people all crazy? Doesn't anybody remember "Freaknik," when every over-sexed black college student in America showed up in The Shire each spring in order to parade nude in public and tie-up traffic? Imagine, dear reader, thousands of "Recreational Vehicles" piloted by individuals at least 50% above the recommended body weight, waving Confederate Flags and crying over the departure of somebody named Dale. Imagine all of these vehicles holding a giant "tailgate party" hosted by that debonair Governor of Georgia "Sonny" (aka "Curly") Perdue.

The Guvnah screams at the podium "Boys, y'all start yer injuns." Frodo is overcome by the thrust of 100,000,000 psi's of carbon monoxide added to the ozone haze swallowing his homeland.

Frodo is on his knees, in all humility, with the hope that Kansas City (which seems to be the greatest distance from The Shire of all the contesting cities) emerges victorious in this endeavour. It should be noted that there is neither a reason nor a likelihood that Frodo will ever have a need to be anywhere in the vicinity of Kansas City.

Good luck to all you Kansans (or Missourians?)!


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:32 PM EDT
Updated: Thursday, August 18, 2005 9:37 PM EDT
Post Comment | Permalink
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Did You Ever Have to Finally Decide, to Say Yes to One And Let The Other One Slide?
Mood:  crushed out
Topic: "Persons of the Year"
"I just think people should have a right to protest without being harassed and I'm against the war. I don't think it's a war we need to be in."--Fred Mattlage.

For the first time in recorded history Frodo has noted a quotation by a resident of the State of Texas that is neither imbecilic, misguided, nor totally incorrect. Mr. Mattlage, a resident of Crawford, Texas, is the gentleman who made an acre of his private land available for the protestors outside the Bush Compound. All other comments aside, simply put, Frodo says "Thank You." Frodo can't help but wonder where Mattlage is actually from, surely he wasn't born there in Losersville?

Joining the Sheehan Crusade this evening is a lady named Colleen Rowley. If that name sounds vaguely familiar dear reader, try this memory hint. FBI Agent stationed in Phoenix, Arizona, who submitted a report noting that several aliens were taking commercial flying lessons at private locations across the country? Another hint? Well, the subjects included a guy named Zacarias Moussaoui, and all of the classes were taken during the months preceding September 11th, 2001. That's right, that Colleen Rowley!

Colleen Rowley has retired from the FBI, and is an announced candidate for a Congressional Seat in Minnesota, where she is running as a Democrat. Ms. Rowley was one of the TIME Magazine "Persons of the Year 2002."

A Texas farmer and a retired FBI Agent. One might wonder what brings two such diverse people together one summer's night in Texas? Frodo thinks it is the light from a single candle.

"This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine;
This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. . ." Sing the song children!

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:50 PM EDT
Post Comment | Permalink
Monday, August 15, 2005
You Can Tell by the Way I Walk, I'm a Woman's Man
Mood:  cheeky
Topic: "Mordor or Antarctica?"
Frodo did a bad thing. To mark a rather significant milestone in their relationship, Frodo offered Sam "the world." Frodo told Sam to pick one place in the entire world, someplace that Sam had always wanted to visit, and Frodo would take Sam to visit that place. The only limitations being that it must be someplace Sam wanted, and that it could not be anyplace in the State of Texas.

Sam is almost catatonic. Sam has been visiting internet websites, reading travel brochures, and seeking counsel from travel wizards throughout the land. Frodo never suspected that the decision would be this difficult, but has come to appreciate the dilemma of too many choices.

At first, Frodo was convinced that a cruise around Australia, New Zealand, and Tasmania would be the hands down winner. That trip would encompass 27 days, a long time to be away from Rocky, the Wonder Cat (still 22 years and holding). Scotland, Wales, and the Normandy Coast looked good, but probably a bit cooler than we would prefer. Spain, Portugal, and Morocco would open a new continent to our travels and still allow Sam the pleasure of plastic plants in the evening. Sam fears that would place Frodo too close to Monte Carlo ("Bond, James Bond.")

Another cruise through the Greek Isles, including Dubrovnik (Frodo likes saying that word, ala Yul Brynner, "Dewbrovenick"), sounded too good to be true and apparently is, because Sam dropped the subject entirely. Visiting Belize and Costa Rica would give sun, sand, jungle and birds, but always seem to be packaged with places already seen. Sorrento, Florence, and Venice likewise include too much time in a motorcar (or some oversized facsimilie). The Orient is too far to travel by plane, and why go somewhere that contains more people than a New York City subway?

Violence in the world puts many locations off limits to residents of the Shire. Visiting the Pyramids, Singapore, Baghdad, the Great Rift Valley, or the Plains of Troy is beyond the realm of caution and sanity. Thanks George!

Sam grows increasingly tense. If the energy level is high, then the spirit of adventure fills the air about the dinner hour. If the energy level is low, places closer to the Shire are mentioned from time-to-time.

Frodo has a list of places to go that Sam barely mentions. The Galapagos Islands, Rio and Sao Paulo, the Amazon, Machu Picchu, St. Petersburg, Johannesburg, Kodiak Island, and, of course, Monte Carlo. Alas, Frodo will not intervene, because this trip is one that Sam has earned. Consider the quandary, dear reader, and pray tell where that one choice would take you?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:27 PM EDT
Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink
Saturday, August 13, 2005
I Get a Peaceful Easy Feeling, I Know You Won't Let Me Down
Mood:  chatty
Topic: "Op-Ed"
Merry is a Hobbit with ink in her veins. Frodo learned that she spent most of her professional career in the newspaper business, and it was clear that she had been very good at what she did. Merry shared in a Pulitzer Prize won by her employer at the time, the Jackson Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Mississippi. Frodo got to touch the Pulitzer. George W. Bush would think that he was talking about a juke box.

Merry has inherited retinitis pigmentosa, and she is losing her vision. The same thing happened to her father, and it is now happening to her son. It caused her to retire very early, and to apply for Social Security Disability.

Frodo met Merry on the Internet, at the Forum of MoveOn.org, and he was verily impressed by the structure of what she wrote, as well as the passion in her words. Since they shared upbringing in the same part of Middle Earth their interests and stories were familiar. Frodo told Sam about what he had learned and, since Merry did not live too far from the Shire, Sam suggested that he ask Merry if they could come and visit. It was a good day. Frodo and Sam visited a community they had not seen before, and they shared barbeque and sweet tea with their new friend. They talked about Faulkner and football, they discussed Emmett Till and the Highlander Center, and they jointly passed judgment on the failures of George W. Bush.

Merry's vision has worsened. Apparently the strain from a computer screen was exacerbating the problem, so Merry had to disconnect herself from her new-found friends on the Internet. She asked all of her correspondents not to forget her, and to write her letters whenever possible. Some do, some others call from time-to-time, but, she confides, that isn't as much fun as a letter. Some others just have a lot of other things to do, and that is, indeed, understandable.

If you're reading Frodo now, and you have a few extra minutes, and you recognize the name of B.J Trotter in this chronicle, do us both a favor and drop her a line. As the folks at MoveOn are fond of saying, "Thank you, for all that you do."


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:16 PM EDT
Post Comment | Permalink
Friday, August 12, 2005
Four Lonely Days in a Brown LA Haze
Mood:  loud
Topic: "Walkin' the Walk"
It is no secret that Frodo has always admired the ladies except, that is, for the racetrack. Some of his best money documents the foolhardy confidence given to a well-turned ankle or rounded butt as it comes off the far turn. Be that as it may, Frodo finds himself admiring the fortitude shown by those he was once deemed to protect. Cindy Sheehan is a case in point.

A Cretin named Johnny W. Hall from Douglasville, Georgia, wrote an "Op-Ed" column in a recent edition of the Atlanta Journal & Constitution. Per the picture which accompanied his submission, Hall looks somewhat like Karl Rove, with stubble at various locations about his head and shoulders. Hall wrote that Ms. Sheehan "evidently thinks little of her deceased son," because of her vigil outside the Bush enclave in Lower Crawford. In typical paleolithic prose he proceeded to attack her patriotism and condemn her for giving aid and comfort to those who killed her son.

The newspaper reported the next morning that all of the first fifty letters they received the next morning condemned the Hall litany, and that none supported his comments. Remember now, this is Georgia, the reddest of the red states, from which Zell Miller launched his insane support of the Incomparable Moron. This is Georgia, the State in which there are actually people who would support Ralph Reed in his bid for Lt. Governor.

In the words of the song, "Something's happenin' here, what it is ain't exactly clear. . .," and it has to do with a Gold Star Mother on a vigil in the name of her son, a victim of the Bush War. Frodo wants to stand up and cheer, for it may have taken a lady with fortitude to launch a full frontal assault on an evil and misguided policy. The "Swift Boat Veterans" have no credibility in this argument, and as Bill Maher has said, Ms. Sheehan may have put Bush "between Iraq and a hard place."

There is no place so forlorn as West Texas. It must be very hard for her, even as more and more supporters arrive every day, to suffer in that horrible place. Frodo watches this brave lady charge around the first turn, and suddenly no opponent is kicking mud in her face. The crowd senses a strong charge down the backstretch, and Frodo is very proud that his bet is on the filly.
Godspeed.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:33 PM EDT
Post Comment | Permalink

Newer | Latest | Older