Mood: suave
Topic: "Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Your assignment, 003.5, should you choose to accept it, is to determine what has happened to the pistols, AK-47's, and body armor which was shipped to Iraq for the use of the Iraqi Police Force. You and your IM Force need to determine what has happened to the more than $4 Billion worth of weaponry. The Defense Department has admitted to the fact that the weapons were simply 'distributed' in their haste to arm the Iraqis against the insurgency."
"Does that mean that we may have, inadvertently, armed those who have been fighting the Coalition Forces, M?"
"I'm afraid so, 003.5. Now you'll need a complete briefing from Q about the make and models of the firearms so that you can initiate a proper investigation."
"Sir, might I suggest that we start by simply getting a list of the serial numbers. . ."
"I'm afraid that won't work 003.5, the military claims that they were under such time constraints that they were unable to compile a list of the numbers. It would have taken too long to write down each serial number."
"I'm sorry M, but couldn't someone have merely listed the numbers on a portable computer while flying the arms into Baghdad from Fort Benning?"
"I'm not arguing with you 003.5, I'm telling you that this is what military intelligence has told us."
Agent Frodo, licensed to kill, was speechless.
Several hours pass.
"Miss Moneypenny, has 003.5 left for Baghdad as yet?"
"Sir? Baghdad? 003.5 had me book a charter for him to Roanoke, Virginia."
"Virginia? Why?"
"He said that he was going to see a man about some guns."
"Get him on the telephone, and patch him into me, just as soon as possible!"
Several hours pass.
"Miss Moneypenny, any word from 003.5?"
"Just a text message from his Blackberry Sir."
"Well, what's it say?"
"I'm not sure entirely, but here's the literal message:"
'LOL 003.5, shkin not strd, wepuns in ctrl of NRA clrd by W.'
M looked up from the computer screen hoping that Moneypenny could explain some, if not all, of the gibberish in front of him.
Moneypenny squirmed in her seat, but offered a theory. "Perhaps Sir, 003.5 is saying that he believes the weapons are now, with the President's approval, in the possession of the NRA?"
"The NRA? What in the Hell would those lunatics want with all those AK-47's and pistols?"
"Look Sir, another message coming in, maybe this is important?"
'$cent, tell M NK 00's R @ 2 >$ NRA 4 wepuns.'
"Sir, I have no idea what this means. Do you think Q could translate it?"
"No for Pete's sake, he's older than either of us."
"Another message Sir. That's odd?"
"What's odd? What's it say?"
"Virginia Tech."
End of message.