Frodo, Keeper of the Ring

Sunday, October 22, 2006

If There's Anything That You Want, If There's Anything I Can Do
Mood:

surprised
Topic: "Like a Barack" (2)
Bilbo sat impatiently next to Frodo, then sprang afoot and burst out with the following:

"All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken:
The crownless again shall be king."

Bilbo again sat next to Frodo and whispered, "I made that up myself, for (Aragorn) a long time ago when he first told me about himself. I almost wish that my adventures were not over, and that I could go with him when his day comes."

Today, Barack Obama opened the door, if only so slightly, to the possibility of his candidacy for the Presidency of the United States. If elected, he would be three years older than was John F. Kennedy when he assumed the Presidency in 1960. Although he has but two years of service in the United States Senate, Frodo is enthused about his lack of experience.

The current leadership of our fair land is dominated by men who have served as Governors, Congressmen, Cabinet Secretaries, Private Industry CEO's, Owners of Baseball Teams, and other equally impressive titles, on paper. Look, dear reader, at the effectiveness of the Bush/Cheney/Rumsfeld triumvirate for all their experience. Obama has written a book, entitled "The Audacity of Hope," and in that book he makes the argument that the experiences of the 1960's have woven the intransigence of our present dilemma. Frodo remembers those days, and sees the wisdom in his words.

Perhaps the word is going out that this is the time, and that this is surely the place. Born in this century, tempered by war, and brought to this land of hope and dreams to receive a torch. Frodo asks what he can do to bring about the brighter day.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:46 PM EDT

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Every Boy Wants a Girl He Can Trust to The Very End
Mood:

chatty
Topic: "Look Who's Talkin'" (2)

Former Congressman Foley appeared to be taking the coward's way out. Oh no, it couldn't be his fault, it had to be the alcohol! Another politician signs his name to the register under the name of Betty Ford, and that would end his culpability in whatever really took place, or, at least, that is what Frodo thought. For Former Congressman Foley also alleged that he was the victim of sexual abuse by a Priest.

Frodo admits that he has been stymied as to the rationale of Former Congressman Foley's allegation. What is even more confusing is the fact that it appears to be true. Today an intrepid reporter tracked down this goofball Priest on some little dinky island off the coast of Malta, for the love of Mike. Sounding entirely akin to Peter Lorre in "Arsenic and Old Lace," this weirdo admitted to the "touching" and the "fondling" of little Former Congressman Foley 39 years ago. He commented on the fact that they went "skinny-dipping," and took saunas together in the nude. He denied any "penetration" or "rape," however.

As bizarre as it is, Frodo still can't figure why Former Congressman Foley raised the issue? He had already established his argument as a drunk who was not responsible for his actions. Was this a determined effort to strike back at his Church for allowing him to be victimized as a 12 year-old? Could it be that he was intentionally attempting to expose the secretive coziness of secular leadership to the unpublicized criminal behavior of religious leaders? Or could it be that Former Congressman Foley simply wanted to humiliate the leadership of his own Party by allowing this "scandal" to drip on, day-by-day, and never leave the public eye in the electoral season? There seems to be plenty of reason to speculate about the motivations of this sad little man.

Frodo has a theory. Potential Fact 1--Former Congressman Foley has pictures. Potential Fact 2--Former Congressman Foley needs money. Ergo, only those who know that their faces do not appear in the photographs publicly recall exactly when they became aware of Former Congressman Foley's aberrant behavior.

Frodo wonders exactly where Former Congressman Foley has stored the multimedia cards for his digital camera.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:52 PM EDT

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Easy Like Sunday Morning
Mood:

bright
Topic: "Camp Pleasant" (2)
Faramir and Frodo feared for the future. This alliteration emanates from the time when the Fellowship first began, and poverty and lack of educational opportunity were clearly delineated amongst Citizens in Middle Earth. Faramir and Frodo found each other while they individually searched for a "relevant" course for their energies in turbulent times. For Frodo, Camp Pleasant started as a summer job, for Faramir it was a life's calling.

The Family & Child Services of Washington, D.C., and THE EVENING STAR, a now defunct afternoon newspaper, sponsored a program called "Send a Kid to Camp." Five two-week sessions of residential summer camp for inner-city kids were conducted in the Prince William Forest Park by the agency, the expenses of which were covered by donations collected by the newspaper. The counselors and team leaders were usually idealistic young Hobbits of college age. They were mostly white. The campers, nominated to attend by social workers, were mostly black, poor, and all of them were no more than 12 years-old. The idea was to give kids a chance to have some fun, and three squares a day.

The fourth session was the one that troubled Frodo and Faramir the most. All of the campers were inmates of a Youth Detention Center known as "Maple Glen." When they got off the bus that first day, they all wore white tee shirts, blue jeans, and combat boots. They marched everywhere, and no one smiled. Frodo and Faramir spent days doing their best to break down the walls, and to make the kids have a good time.

Out beyond the campgrounds, in the middle of the Park, there stood the remains of an old pyrite mine ("Fools' Gold" is a component of several chemical processes). It was a good distance for a day's hike-and-back, and usually the kids had a good time looking for rabbits and picking plums off old trees. The kids from Maple Glen just marched. They marched to the mine, ate their lunch, and they were marching back. Frodo knew that he had to "change the course."

Frodo watched as the boys waded across one of the many creeks along the trail. He waded into a wide pool, cupped his hands, and pulled up a big slug of mud from the stream bed. Without a word he threw the mudball toward the back of Faramir. Faramir turned, with vengeance in his eyes, and waded into the creek. He raised his hands with a similar weapon and discharged it in the direction of the elusive Frodo. The mud ball hit one of the campers right square in the mouth. As Frodo and Faramir looked on in horror, they noticed the teeth grinning through the mud, and they felt the first of the onslaught from all directions. The battle continued until all were exhausted, and covered in mud from head-to-toe (Somehow a picture of John Belushi comes to mind as Frodo recounted the tale).

Finally the weary combatants assembled on the other shore and, young and younger, they walked back to camp, arm-in-arm. The mud, of course, was drying cement-like on each, but that only inspired them to break ranks, and to sing songs together.

"We are the Cherokee, mighty mighty Cherokee,
Everywhere we go-oh, people wanna know-oh,
Who we are, so we tell them,
We are the Cherokee, mighty mighty Cherokee,
Oooh Aaah!"

The entire camp turned out to see the boys from the Cherokee lodges of Camp Pleasant. The Director grinned from ear-to-ear as Frodo and Faramir led the group into the showers. All of the boys were laughing.

The days that followed went far too quickly. When the day came that the buses arrived to take the boys back to Maple Glen, it would've been very hard to determine whose heart broke more. Frodo knows now.

Faramir became a Priest. After many years, he left and has since married. He has a son.

Frodo has not forgotten those who were small and weak. Every once in a while you can find him making mud-balls, and smiling.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:15 PM EDT

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Don't Sleep in The Subway Darlin', Don't Stand in The Pouring Rain
Mood:

don't ask
Topic: "Silence of the Lambs"(2)
"Bring in the first Prisoner."
"State your name for the record."
"Why am I here?"
"Your name please!"
"Look, I don't know who you are, I don't know why I'm here, and I'm not telling you anything. I demand a lawyer."
"You will answer the questions put before you by this tribunal."
"And if I choose not to do so?"
"You will suffer the consequences."
"No one has informed me of my rights."
"No one is required to inform you of anything."
"Yeah, well according to the MIRANDA decision. . ."
"The reference you make does not apply because you have been deemed to be an 'unlawful enemy combatant'."
"What? Deemed by whom?"
"This tribunal."
"Listen dude, I don't know who you are, and I don't know what this is all about, but somebody has made a big mistake."
"I repeat, state your name for the record."
"I refuse to answer based on my rights under the Fifth Amendment of the US Constitution."
"As I stated previously, you are subject only to the authority granted to the President by the Congress of the United States on this date in American history. The President has thereby directed the creation of this tribunal in order to provide for the public safety by bringing unlawful enemy combatants into the legal system expeditiously. Now, what is your name, boy?"
"I was born in this country. I am a free man. I have rights as a citizen."
"I am telling you to provide this tribunal with your name and I will not ask you again."
"Good. I see I'm finally getting through to you."
"Bailiff, remove this enemy of the people, and let him sit in a cell until he is ready to answer the questions of this tribunal."
"You can't do this. My God, this is America."

What you have just read, dear reader, according to Frodo, is all legal and consistent with the signing into law of that which removes "Habeas Corpus" from the rights of an American citizen. You, an American citizen, can be brought before some who may question your loyalty, and you can be imprisoned without the rights granted to you by the Constitution of the United States.

TS Eliot said that our world would end not with a bang, but with a whimper. While you worried, dear reader, about whether or not the Cardinals could go a game up on the Mets, or if gas prices were going to go back to $3 a gallon, you created the framework for despotism that you once read about in the book "Animal Farm."

Frodo and Sam are picking up the pace to reach the summit of Mount Doom, to destroy the Ring. The Dead must follow Aragorn into battle at Pelennor Fields, for the living who face Sauron are too few.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:24 PM EDT

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Monday, October 16, 2006

Thunder Only Happens When It's Raining
Mood:

special
Topic: "Vote for Steve" (2)
Frodo and Sam will not be around to vote on Election Day. Following all procedural guidelines properly, they received absentee ballots in the mail and today submitted them for tabulation. The early returns are in, and the Republican fears of a Democratic landslide are supported by the evidence.

In a "Red State," there are many uncontested races; simply because inertia dictates that a nameless, faceless incumbent is nearly unbeatable. Frodo seethes at the perennial re-election of State Representative Bobby Franklin, who has never submitted a bill for consideration nor taken any kind of stand on any controversial issue. He does however, send out nice little magnetic calendars for your refrigerator. Representative Franklin, a Republican, naturally, opposes the things you're against, and he is in favor of the things you are for, whoever you may be, and whatever your opinions are when he is around. Politely, Bobby Franklin is pond scum.

Frodo's next door-neighbor in the Shire, recognized by the creatures therein as "Mr. Steve," is a nice man. Mr. Steve has two dogs and a mortgage. He works multiple jobs, and he spends every free hour trying to make his yard into an environmental showplace. Mr. Steve is a fan of "The McLauglin Group" on TV, and "Air America" on radio. Mr. Steve also agrees with Frodo that George W. Bush is a horse's ass.

Frodo likes Mr. Steve. Frodo wrote-in the name of Mr. Steve to oppose Representative Bobby Franklin. Frodo would like to urge any other future voters in the jurisdictions which include the Shire to write-in Mr. Steve for State Representative.

Frodo approves this message.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:28 PM EDT

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Saturday, October 14, 2006

I'm On My Way, I Don't Know Where I'm Going
Mood:

happy
Topic: "Autumnal Observances"(2)
All of a sudden Frodo awakes hoping that the first frost did not strike the Shire; semi-tropical plants drop leaves and die if that happens. Relief turns to purpose and Frodo begins to organize the pots into which the hibiscus and scheffelera, planted outside during the warm seasons, are to be transferred. Above, Frodo clearly observes the older squirrels patching the tree-top nests to off-set the coming winter winds, while the first-year "dumb ones" make a feast of the blazing red seed of the dogwoods. Beau Neau is on patrol all about the grounds as small creatures gather the fall harvest into cavernous shelters. Mick (the Wonder Dog), Fiona, and Georgia are taking advantage of patches of soothing sunlight. There seems to be a sense of urgency encompassing all who share the Shire.

Despite the scientific evidence that all of Middle Earth grows warmer, Frodo knows that we are due for an onslaught of winter weather. A big snow, and gale-like winds from the West have not disappeared from the weather charts for the remainder of the milennium. The absence of tropical storms during the warm seasons portend an increase in the severity of the cold days ahead.

After the great storm of 1993, Frodo bought a snow shovel and hung it in his garage adjacent to his motorcar. The cobwebs that cover it need to be dusted away. A kerosene heater, with fresh kerosene, and a battery-powered TV-radio will receive tune-ups and testing. The battery in the laptop will be replaced. Vulnerable limbs will be trimmed back to prevent ice accumulation over outside wiring.

A little cool weather and Frodo becomes the personification of "the Energizer Bunny." In all likelihood, the Shire will experience another mild winter, and little use will be made of any of Frodo's frenzied preparations. There is, however, this acute sense of foreboding.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:34 AM EDT

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Friday, October 13, 2006

Blinded by The Light
Mood:

crushed out
Topic: "Sauron Psalms" (2)

Frodo has been considering the ecumenical status of political life. He has been researching his memory for a single instance in any of the collected statements of George W. Bush in which the speaker has cited a biblical chapter and verse. "Wouldn't it seem logical," said Frodo, "that this, the President who has most depended on a public display of faith, would fill his speeches with references to the Book of Genesis, or to St. Matthew, or even to Psalms?"

"You raise an interesting point, Mr. Frodo," said Sam. "I cannot recall a single instance where the President has ever mentioned the most rudimentary citation, John 3:16 for example."

"Sam, he's reminded of that citation every time he turns on a sporting event."

"That raises a question Mr. Frodo, what ever happened to that goofy white guy with the rainbow wig that seemed to find his way into every sports arena, in front of every camera, wiith a sign in reference to John 3:16?"

"You know Sam, come to think of it, I can't recall seeing him, at least since before Hurricane Katrina."

"And what about Chicken George?," Sam added. "I haven't seen him in a long time. Hey, what about the San Diego Chicken?"

"Sam, your questions are interesting, but you're getting off my point," cautioned Frodo.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Frodo, it's just that you've made me think about how much things have changed since Sauron took possession of the Ring."

"I understand Sam, and I accept your point that things we took for granted are no longer a part of our everyday lives. It is my belief that the reason that we never hear the President refer to biblical passages is because he doesn't know any."

Sam looked surprised. "You mean that all the 'faith-based this' and faith-based that' is somebody else's idea?"

"Sam, I think it's all a sham, and I don't mean a single reference to 'hair on a bull'."

"That, Mr. Frodo, is a weak joke."

"Sorry Sam, but what I mean is that I've always been suspicious of people who wear their 'faith' on their sleeve, and use it to justify, or even to hide, an ulterior purpose or motive, if you will."

Sam looked puzzled, and gazed toward the horizon. "You think the whole faith thing of George W. Bush is a put-on?"

"Sam, I would bet dollars to donuts that not a single day goes by that George W. Bush does not take the name of the Lord in vain. I believe I could substantiate the fact that he has violated Nine of the Ten Commandments."

Sam paused. "Nine of Ten?"

"That's correct."

"May I be so naive as to inquire as to the one you seem to feel he has honored?"

"Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother."

"I'll buy that. Whose ass has he been coveting? Oh, I forgot about his Secretary of. . ."

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:33 PM EDT

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

They Say I Won't Last Too Long On Broadway
Mood:

accident prone
Topic: "Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
Frodo has always liked CNN. Turning on the TV in a hotel room in Austria, after first trying to find out what happened to the blankets and wondering what in the hell that huge pillow was for, is a comforting experience when something identifiable lights up the screen. Frodo might fail to recognize a single talking head and be totally baffled by the accents, but he wasn't as far from home as that weird shower curtain would make him feel. Further, CNN did not originate in New York. That meant that how the Yankees did would not necessarily be the lead story, and "Times Square" would not be identified as the center of all civilized existence by default. Besides, it is kinda cool to keep tabs on the Belgian point-of-view, or the cod crisis in the North Sea.

This evening Frodo was reminded of those feelings by the reporting of a single engine airplane which crashed into an apartment building on the eastern side of Manhattan Island. Now Frodo is not ambivalent about tragedy, and the accidental death of fellow Hobbits, however the story dominated at least half the broadcast time of the major networks' news shows. Each of the cable news channels devoted signifciant, if not all, of their time to the story. What really grabbed Frodo's attention however, was the postponement of the scheduled show on "Hardball" in order to "completely" cover the crash. Hey, it was Robin Williams at Georgetown University, doing politics on the improv!

Had the same terrible accident occurred in Miami, or Cleveland, or Denver, it would've been the final story before tonight's segment of the special series on ingrown toenails.

The answer is not to tune in on a local Atlanta TV station. Without a doubt, the local stations in the Atlanta market are totally controlled by individuals who have experienced complete frontal lobotomy. There is no reporting beyond traffic, crime, weather (ad infinitum), and the latest from NASCAR. The stories are often pulled verbatim from the morning edition of the local newspaper, and always filmed with an interstate highway as a backdrop.

Ah, thought Frodo, I'll turn on CNN. . .Error, Error, Error. . .Paula Zahn (in New York). . .Larry King (in New York). . .

Frodo is going to explore the merits of twisting the dish away from the southeastern sky in order to update himself as to the grape harvest on the slopes of the Alps this year.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:50 PM EDT

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Monday, October 9, 2006

Do You Believe in Magic
Mood:

happy
Topic: "Wiccan I do for you?"(2)

Remember the "Runaway Bride?" The young lady who disappeared just prior to her wedding, then turned up in New Mexico alleging that she had been kidnapped by Hispanics? It turned out that she had merely gotten "cold feet," and went "walkabout" on her family & friends. Remember, also, dear reader, the attempted murder of Larry Flynt, the publisher of "Hustler," the very graphic obscenity occasionally dubbed a magazine? Frodo thinks of these two incidents because they both occurred within the confines of the same geographical sub-division of real property located in the State of Georgia. Especially, he says, since something else equally bizarre is now underway in this land of plenty.

It seems that one Mother, a resident of Loganville, Gwinnett County, Georgia, has felt the call to bring truth, justice, and the Book of Leviticus to all those who have been spared from her sense of salvation. She has determined that "Harry Potter" must be eliminated from the literary confines of the public school system. Since there have been several issuances in the "Harry Potter" series, our devoted Mom has prompted six hearings in her solo effort to ban these books. The cost to the taxpayers, so far, exceeds $4,000 in attorney's fees alone to her fellow residents of that far-out land of Gwinnett. The score now stands Taxpayers 6, Mom Zip.

Perhaps there is something in the water of Gwinnett County that seems to give credence to the wandering rationale of the infirm? The logic seems to be that whenever someone, nay, anyone, disagrees with you, then it is OK to shoot them, or to sue them, or to simply disappear. Frodo actually thinks that this insanity goes back to the very roots of Gwinnett County. The county, it seems, was named for a signer of the Declaration of Independence who bore the moniker, interestingly enough, Button Gwinnett. Obviously, his parents did not love him. Frodo believes that the obscurity of this individual, amongst all the nobility who signed that precious document, is the source of all the frustration that climaxes in one single political jurisdiction amidst endless strip shopping centers, patchwork interstates, and indistinguishable houses on innumerable cul-de-sacs. Frustrated residents-to-be were drawn together, perhaps by magic.

It deserves note that Gwinnett County is heavily Republican. No resident of Gwinnett County has ever met a tax, a levy, or an assessment that they felt was justified. There is a county-wide belief that public services and justice are the unpaid right to which they are individually due. The two greatest exports of the citizenry are traffic and sewerage, and both of them are everyone else's fault. If one did not know better, one would assume that the county leaders are Dennis Hastert, Dick Cheney, and Jerry Falwell. Frodo mirrors the landscape as closely resembling the single largest Super Wal-Mart parking lot in all of Alabama.

Frodo is very pleased to be in Gryffindor, the Loganville Mom deserves Slytherin.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 2:38 PM EDT

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Thursday, October 5, 2006

I Just Can't Keep From Cryin', He Was a Friend of Mine
Mood:

energetic
Topic: "Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
SPECIAL NOTE: Several days ago Frodo lost an article to the ether. In the attempt to retrace his steps and to rescue this significant literary artifact, he retained the article from the ATLANTA JOURNAL & CONSTITUTION which was the impetus for the original document. Hereafter follows a synopsis of what Frodo originally wrote, perhaps better, perhaps not.

For the first time in fifteen seasons, the gallant Atlanta Braves will not be participating in the play-off preliminaries to the World Series. Not by choice adds Frodo, and the resultant application of the loser's lament to followers of the gallant Braves is, by way of the words that follow, not actually so offensive after all. "Wait 'til next year," has taken on a whole new meaning for the Hobbit.

Bobby Dews has been the Braves Bullpen Coach for the past several seasons. Not too long ago, Bobby was jogging in the neighborhood around Turner Field, and happened by an unfamiliar building with a courtyard out front. Curious, he stopped and asked a few questions. This is how the Atlanta Braves discovered "Our Lady of Perpetual Help Home," which had been established in 1939 by the Hawthorne Dominicans, an order of nuns devoted to caring for patients with terminal cancer. "We're a free home," said Sister Miriam, one of eight nuns in residence who care for an average number of 25 patients. No more chemotherapy, no more radiation, just palliative care to lessen the pain for the patients whose time is necessarily short.

Because of their proximity to the ballpark, the patients can watch the fireworks display when the gallant Braves hit a home run or win a ballgame. In this holy place the games are a reason to live another day, and to look forward to the challenge of another sunrise. In addition to occasional trips to a game, the patients have been treated to the creation of a souvenir shrine in the lobby of the hospice. Amid all the autographed pictures and bobble-head dolls there is the glove worn by the late Sister Aquinas. She always carried it to the ballpark, just in case a foul ball should come her way. One more thing, Frodo supposes, that baseball gives to those who look forward to opportunity.

Losing did not sit well with many of the fans of the gallant Braves, and Mr. German Mabry spoke for all of them, both in-and-outside the gates at "Our Lady." "The doctor said I had stomach cancer but I can't tell it, I don't believe it. I feel fine. Now, we're gonna get that Braves thing right next Spring. I'm going to a ball game."

Frodo doesn't really want to write anymore tonight dear reader, but now you understand why he felt that re-creating this post was worth the time. Amen, Mr. Mabry. We'll root them home next Spring, and the one after that.

Frodo has a lot to think about, with far too few days to go until Spring comes again.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:47 PM EDT

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Newer | Latest | Older

«	October 2006					»

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
1	2	3	4	5	6	7
8	9	10	11	12	13	14
15	16	17	18	19	20	21
22	23	24	25	26	27	28
29	30	31