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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"A-Train"
"AAARRRGGGHH" (6)
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Balls"(10)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"bitch,bitch,bitch"(6)
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Bushenomics"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Checkmate"(5)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Colosseum"
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"DevelopmentalStudies"(4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"DroughtExitStragedy"(3)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"ERA"
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hatfield-vs-McCoy"
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Homeless"
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"Impregnated"(10)
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"MatriculationMadness"(5)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"McCan't"(9)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Memories"(10)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mudbums"(9)
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"Nevermore"(6)
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"Nkosi"
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
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Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Thursday, October 5, 2006
I Just Can't Keep From Cryin', He Was a Friend of Mine
Mood:  energetic
Topic: "Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
SPECIAL NOTE: Several days ago Frodo lost an article to the ether. In the attempt to retrace his steps and to rescue this significant literary artifact, he retained the article from the ATLANTA JOURNAL & CONSTITUTION which was the impetus for the original document. Hereafter follows a synopsis of what Frodo originally wrote, perhaps better, perhaps not.

For the first time in fifteen seasons, the gallant Atlanta Braves will not be participating in the play-off preliminaries to the World Series. Not by choice adds Frodo, and the resultant application of the loser's lament to followers of the gallant Braves is, by way of the words that follow, not actually so offensive after all. "Wait 'til next year," has taken on a whole new meaning for the Hobbit.

Bobby Dews has been the Braves Bullpen Coach for the past several seasons. Not too long ago, Bobby was jogging in the neighborhood around Turner Field, and happened by an unfamiliar building with a courtyard out front. Curious, he stopped and asked a few questions. This is how the Atlanta Braves discovered "Our Lady of Perpetual Help Home," which had been established in 1939 by the Hawthorne Dominicans, an order of nuns devoted to caring for patients with terminal cancer. "We're a free home," said Sister Miriam, one of eight nuns in residence who care for an average number of 25 patients. No more chemotherapy, no more radiation, just palliative care to lessen the pain for the patients whose time is necessarily short.

Because of their proximity to the ballpark, the patients can watch the fireworks display when the gallant Braves hit a home run or win a ballgame. In this holy place the games are a reason to live another day, and to look forward to the challenge of another sunrise. In addition to occasional trips to a game, the patients have been treated to the creation of a souvenir shrine in the lobby of the hospice. Amid all the autographed pictures and bobble-head dolls there is the glove worn by the late Sister Aquinas. She always carried it to the ballpark, just in case a foul ball should come her way. One more thing, Frodo supposes, that baseball gives to those who look forward to opportunity.

Losing did not sit well with many of the fans of the gallant Braves, and Mr. German Mabry spoke for all of them, both in-and-outside the gates at "Our Lady." "The doctor said I had stomach cancer but I can't tell it, I don't believe it. I feel fine. Now, we're gonna get that Braves thing right next Spring. I'm going to a ball game."

Frodo doesn't really want to write anymore tonight dear reader, but now you understand why he felt that re-creating this post was worth the time. Amen, Mr. Mabry. We'll root them home next Spring, and the one after that.

Frodo has a lot to think about, with far too few days to go until Spring comes again.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:47 PM EDT
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Come Mr. Tally Man, Tally Me Banana
Mood:  hungry
Topic: "Tora Bora Lora. . ." (2)
Bilbo taught Frodo to never swim in the deep end until he was sure that he was able to reach firm footing when circumstances required it. That was Bilbo's way of telling Frodo to never get in over his head. Too bad that Bilbo never got to meet Senator Bill Frist.

The surgeon turned politican who set himself up for public ridicule during the Terry Schiavo affair has heaped even more judgmental dung upon his public persona. While touring Afghanistan with fellow Senator Mel Martinez (R-FL) in the kind of educational exploration that only seems to benefit the travelers themselves, Senator Frist was asked to prognosticate about the future of Afghanistan in the larger world. In an absolutely mind-boggling statement Frist indicated that he felt the Taliban would have to be an integral part of any stable governmental system. As a reminder, dear reader, it was the Taliban which harbored Osama bin Laden and al Qaeda before and after the attacks of 9/11/01. It is the same Taliban which George W. Bush, in typical Bush-family fashion, failed to destroy during the ill-fated "War on Terror," allowing these monsters to regain strength and to re-emerge from their subterranean garbage dumps. Our boy, Dr. Frist, once-harboring dreams of a Frist Presidency, wants to give credence to the continued presence on the Planet Earth of these vipers.

Frodo absolutely freaks out when the spin-masters back in the Senator's command post rise to "revise and extend" the Senator's remarks. "He didn't really mean what he said," they imply, "remember the altitude in Afghanistan is such that the Senator was suffering from oxygen deprivation."

Yeah, right, and the next thing we know, he'll be admitted to an Alcohol Rehab program.

"Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio? Our nation turns its' lonely eyes to you."

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 2:56 AM EDT
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Wednesday, October 4, 2006
I Stand My Ground And I Won't Back Down
Mood:  sad
Topic: "IED's in Congress" (2)
Frodo detests the hypocrisy of politics and politicians. To react without glee when a particularly egregious individual sinks to the level where he belongs has always been a struggle for Frodo. It has always seemed as if now, things will get better, so why not be happy? That is, until today.

Frodo is disconsolate. Despite his disagreements with so many of these people, he knows that for many of his fellow citizens these were the people who represented, or so they thought, the values that are truly American. Hard work, individual responsibility, thrift, a strong national defense, and having just enough government to get by with are the theoretical cornerstones of those who deem themselves conservative. Tonight they must feel that the great test of hope versus greed that manifests itself in the pending adulthood of every Hobbit has been breached by those who lead their side of the Aisle, if you will. Frodo takes no joy in a loss of faith in the institutions constructed on the blood and fortune of those who dreamed of better days in our land.

The third in line to be President is a piece of toast. He did not act on principle when it was absolutely demanded of any adult. The firing squad stands in a circle, and each shot directed at him finds another target. How absolutely depressing it is to see that so many in whom so much responsibility rests failed their test. Politics be damned, this was all about right and wrong.

Bob Seger recently released a new album. The fourth song is entitled, "No Matter Who You Are." Frodo thinks every American should listen, and listen closely.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:59 PM EDT
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Saturday, September 30, 2006
No Matter Who You Are, No Matter What You've Done
Mood:  irritated
Topic: "What is a Shimkus?" (2)

Former Representative Mark Foley (R-FL) is a pedophile.  In fact, he is a repeat pedophile.   Frodo explains that Foley's repeat status as a pedophile is documented by the investigation of Representative John Shimkus (R-IL) completed almost a full year ago.

It seems that Representative Shimkus was responsible for the internal investigation of allegations of abuse of the "page system" in the House of Representatives.  Pages are, of course, young people who serve as "runners" or "gofers" to Members of the House of Representatives.  Shimkus had received a referral regarding the alleged behavior of Representative Foley, and  had even confronted the sleazebag about many of the charges now in the public purview.  According to Representative Shimkus, Representative Foley promised him that he would terminate the relationship of concern, and would not repeat his errors of judgment.  Representative Shimkus accepted that and closed the investigation without further action.

Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert was so concerned about this week's resignation of Representative Foley, once he was confronted with documentary evidence of his pedophilic behavior, that he, Hastert, ordered an investigation of the entire House "page system."  Representative Shimkus was selected to head up the investigation.

Despite his life-long interest in politics, Frodo admits that, until today, he had never heard of Representative Shimkus.  Frodo is of a mind that the responsibilities of Representative Shimkus are so noteworthy that perhaps the term "Shimkus" should be adopted as a new word in the English Language.  "Shimkus" could be listed in the next edition of Funk & Wagnall's thusly:  "Shimkus (noun), a partisan ideolgue incapable of either sound judgment or sane conduct; not to be confused with but not dissimilar to the state of being known as incompetency.  Synonyms include Bushite, see also Bush, Administration of George W. "

 

 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:25 PM EDT
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Thursday, September 28, 2006
Talk About The Boy From New York City
Mood:  chillin'
Topic: "Pray With Me Henry" (2)
At first Frodo thought that it was merely a rush of cool air twisting down from the Michigan Peninsula that brought a chill all the way from his socks to his collar. He trembled and felt all goose-bumpey until he realized that it wasn't cold air he felt, it was a cold, cold heart. He hadn't seen the dour countenance of Henry Kissinger for a long, long time. Not long enough, apparently.

The airwaves are alive with the teasing excerpts from Bob Woodward's newest book. Denials from the Pentagon and the White House are of equal and dubious credibility. Frodo was surprised only by the allegation that Kissinger has been advising the White House on matters relative to the Pre-Emptive War. Frodo had supposed that after Kissinger revealed personal conversations during his last night in the Nixon White House, and the invitation to prayer with the Fallen President, that no Republican would ever bring him into their confidence again.

Kissinger, if Frodo remembers correctly, took almost a year-and-a-half to get agreement on the size and shape of the table to be used in negotiations with the Vietnamese. When he finally did get everyone around the table, he negotiated terms roughly identical to those proposed by the Geneva Convention of 1954, which were rejected at that point by the Eisenhower Administration. 60,000 American lives later, Henry had concluded that maybe those terms weren't so bad, after all. His presence as an advisor to the current White House occupants is a harbinger of pending submission disguised in the miasma of political spin on alleged victory.

Every passing day brings the great foreign policy blunders of American intervention in the post-Colonial periods closer together. America followed the French into Indo-China, and the British into the Middle East. In both cases, the Americans have been kicked in the arse, and young bodies have expanded the permanent residency of Arlington National Cemetery. Kissinger has been there, advising, for both.

He has almost as much credibility as Dick Cheney. He's been right just about as often. He must be fondling the Ring again.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:03 PM EDT
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Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Goodnight Sweetheart, Well It's Time to Go
Mood:  lucky
Topic: "The Forum" (2)

Frodo had never felt quite so alone as he did in the days before the Election of 2004.  Despite his protestations to the contrary, all he heard was the ovine acceptance of that which he felt to be untrue.  There were no Weapons of Mass Destruction.  It was UnAmerican to engage in a War without first exhausting every imaginable alternative.  It was UnConstitutional to detain any prisoner without charging him with an offense.  It was UnConscionable to deem federally-funded genetic research unacceptable because it potentially conflicted with the interpretation of religious opinion.  Only the Senior Senator from the State of West Virginia, of all places, rose to decry the abrogation of rights.

Frodo stumbled upon "The Forum" on the miracle of the Internet.  A left-of-center group had included a section in its Web offering which allowed individuals to post their comments, and to respond to others.  The theory of "MoveOn.org" was that the input would help this band of Loyal Oppositionists to determine the course of their action.  Frodo began to post, and he began to read the impassioned words of Citizens of Middle Earth, like Frodo himself.

Ted, a Greek immigrant in California; Leslie, in publishing in NYC; BJ, a retired newspaperperson in South Carolina; Vicki, an unemployed person whose job was outsourced from Idaho; Tom, a retired TWA pilot in Ohio; Richard, an old student in Missouri; Athena, an artist in California; Carolyn, a housewife in Illinois; and many others who identified themselves as poets, teachers, soldiers, retired, or just plain angry, began to respond to the entreaties of Frodo.  We learned that we were not alone, and we found comfort in speaking our minds.

Soon "the Freepers" began their assault.  Technically savvy emigres from a site called "The Free Republic" found the forum, and began to post in a vituperative manner, and obscenity-laced language became commonplace.   Soon there were obscene pictures, serving no purpose, but transmitted blindly so as to obliterate hundreds of pages of available space.  The participants in the forum tried to communicate through the Web back to the initiators of the site to warn them of what was happening.  Eventually, the obscenity was erased, and an improved system for screening postings was in place.

Once the Election was over, and Frodo failed to prevent Sauron from possessing the Ring, many of the regulars began to drift away, and to post much less frequently.  One of the regulars suggested to Frodo that he begin to Blog because she so enjoyed his style and his passion.  Thus began what you read on these pages.  Eventually Frodo became another infrequent visitor, as he grew less interested in issues being raised as if no one had ever brought them into consideration before. 

Recently Frodo returned to the forum, but it was gone.  As he scrolled through the new Website, he found a news release dated in early September.  The creators of MoveOn.org had found a series of anti-Semitic postings which were evidently as horrible as they were offensive to civilized men and women.  Frodo understood why the forum was no longer there, and he accepts its' demise as a necessary part of the world in which he lives.

With gratitude, Frodo looks back at the avenue opened to him which assured him that there is a Brotherhood of the Ring, and that it exists in the hearts and minds of Hobbits everywhere.   The Forum introduced Frodo to the words and the soul of so many that he may never meet in person.  It was a great gift.  Frodo continues, but no longer alone. 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:52 PM EDT
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Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Laugh, Laugh, I Thought I'd Die, It Seemed So Funny to Me
Mood:  rushed
Topic: "Sabato Knows" (2)

There are two very distinguised academic political analysts in the State of Virginia, and the best known, Dr. Larry Sabato (University of Virginia), has documented that United States Senator George Allen has frequently used the racial epither "Nigger" in conversation.  Frodo has never been a fan of George Allen.  However, Frodo is naturally concerned when references to past behavior are brought forth as evidentiary material to address the suitability of an adult in a public role.  Frodo would like it to be universally recognized that not all great men (or women) have always behaved with maturity and respect for others.  Context is the issue in matters of this nature.

George Allen has amended his statements, and has done everything possible to minimize the significance of word and deed.  It does not wash, according to Frodo.  Who cares if his Mother can trace her lineage into Judaism?  Who cares if he collected Western items and displayed them in his office?  Who cares if he makes up words to single out individuals in a crowd?  The explanations are just as bizarre and unwieldy as the attempts to divert blame to a sibling by a small child.  George Allen is no small child.

On a day when the Secretary of State states facts in direct contrast to the words of the "9/11 Commission," while defending the non-performance of the Bush Administration in the months leading up to the attacks, Frodo wonders exactly why the Administration tried so hard to prevent the "9/11 Commission" from ever coming into existence in the first place?    Now the Administration, in desperatrion, is de-classifying reports from last April in a bizarre attempt to justify the Pre-emptive War.  Allen and Bush, children of privilege, always seem to portray themselves as "regular guys;" guys you can trust when the chips are down.  The facts, it seems, are blurring the image desired.

It deserves note that George Allen's voting record in the United States Senate has been measured as supporting President Bush 96% of the time.  That is even higher than Saxby "Rubber Stamp" Chambliss of Georgia, who casts votes in favor of and against the same positions.  Should you question that assertion, dear reader, Frodo suggests you check Chambliss' voting record in the House on immigration.

Tomorrow night, Katharine Harris, the Republican Candidate for the United States Senate from Florida will appear on "Hardball" with Chris Matthews.  Frodo can't wait.  If she appears on stage to the accompaniment of the score from "Gypsy," it will be a perfect reflection of the Republican Circus Maximus in all three rings, and only six weeks until the Mid-term Elections.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:39 PM EDT
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Monday, September 25, 2006
Our Day Will Come And We'll Have Everything
Mood:  party time!
Topic: "Faux les Bas" (2)
The Superdome reopens tonight; reportedly some tickets have sold for more than $1000. The City of Orleans will never pass up an opportunity to celebrate, and this football game between the Atlanta Falcons and the New Orleans Saints, the first game played in the SuperDome since Katrina, will be treated as one more reason to party. Frodo will celebrate the spirit, but lament the reality that tightens its' grip on the psyche of our native land.

Already the proud citizens of Houston blame their rising crime rate on the emigrants from Louisiana. Already fiscal conservatives compute that the rebuilding cost will extend into the tens of thousands for every resident of Orleans Parish. Already the legal system finds reason to allege predmeditated murder against medical practitioners because people died under their care, far more serious than simple euthanasia. Already the national media look at the City of Orleans from Times Square, and not from the Ninth Ward.

Tonight, everyone will celebrate the "Re-birth," and then they will turn out the lights and they will go home. There will be another game, somewhere else, next Monday night. Frodo will stand in the darkness and listen to the sounds of people crying. Some are hungry. Some are without a place to live. Some have no job. Some, sad to say, aren't really there, it is just the sound of the breeze that blows off the river today, as it did when slaves were sold on its shore. Too many will turn off their TV's this evening, and think that things are all back to normal.

George W. Bush will sleep through it all, because it is past his bedtime. Frodo supposes that what we get, is what we asked for.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:18 PM EDT
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Sunday, September 24, 2006
Turn On The TV, Push Out The Lights, Roy Rogers Is Riding Tonight
Mood:  on fire
Topic: "Smirk Jerk" (2)
Chris Wallace and George W. Bush are the primary members of a group that Frodo calls "The Smirks." Unlike either the little blue cartoon characters or the smallish wide receivers of the 1980's vintage Washington Redskins, both known as "Smurfs," the "Smirks" are condescending and arrogant. This morning, Bill Clinton took one of them to the woodshed.

Clinton stated, in no uncertain terms, that his efforts to capture, kill, or otherwise detain Osama bin Laden were far superior to the non-action of the neo-cons whom Mr. Wallace has consistently failed to query regarding their failures in this regard. Without apology, Clinton made it clear that, in his opinion, at least he tried. He added that were he still President, there would be more than 20,000 troops in Afghanistan, as there are now, in pursuit of bin Laden.

There will be some piling on by those who will never accept the former President as anything other than literal moral decay. Frodo however, is in awe of the political wisdom put forth by the former President, and applauds him for opening the dialogue for Democrats to a whole new set of decibels. It is time to speak up, loudly, and to show everyone that the "Smirks" are really the "Jerks." Actually, it is an excellent opportunity to offset the attempt to paint Democrats as "soft" on terrorism. The aggression shown by Mr. Clinton in the interview backed Wallace into a corner, from which he could only escape by recognizing the timeliness of the NIE report which purports that "terrorism" has increased since 9/11, because of the Pre-emptive War. Clinton could then add that the Democrats had several Iraq War Veterans, a former Reagan Administration Navy Secretary, and a former member of the Joint Chiefs of Staff as candidates in the upcoming elections.

Wallace has announced that next week's guest for his hard-hitting interview will be Labor Secretary Chao. Laughter was heard in the background.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:35 PM EDT
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Thursday, September 21, 2006
Little GTO, You're Really Lookin' Fine
Mood:  bright
Topic: "Thy Name be Peace" (2)

Selam was only three years old when she slipped from her mother's arms, and was carried away by the raging torrent of what was probably a flash flood.  The despair of her clan was heightened by the fact that her little body was never found, that is not for another 3,299,994 years.

In the Great Rift Valley of Ethiopia, an almost complete skeleton of the species Australopithecus afarensis was added to the collection that stars Lucy, discovered in the same area in 1974 by Richard Johansen.  Scientists believe that Selam predates Lucy by approximately 100,000 years, which makes the find even more scientifically important, but regrettably not a reunion of mother and child (Frodo will always be the romantic, despite the odds).

The scientific debate which emanates from finds such as these is as intense as any current political struggle anywhere in the world.  Some believe that Selam's comparatively long arms prove that she could not only walk upright, but that she had the capacity to swing through the trees, thereby heightening the probability that evolutionary processes can be confirmed by the fossil record.  Others believe that she was either pure hominid, or pure ape.  Two of the most important pieces of information will come from the reconstruction of the foot, and from the confirmed presence of a hyoid bone.  The first may exhibit an opposable toe (akin to the thumb on your hand, dear reader), which would exist for climbing purposes.  The second, which is a small connector of the tongue, is only the second example ever found in the fossil history of any potential human ancestor.  It will indicate the proximity of the voice of Selam, be she more human than chimpanzee, or vice versa.

Frodo has a life's dream, and that dream is to someday walk in the Great Rift Valley.  His scientific sense of adventure, his searching for the links to an ancient past are all factors in that great dream.  The real reason is the romantic.  Wouldn't it be something to find Selam's Mother, and to quiet the wailful winds that have haunted all of human history?  To answer one of life's tragic mysteries.

Talk about a neat story line for "Cold Case Files."

 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:08 PM EDT
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