Mood:  lyrical

Frodo asks, dear reader, what do all of the following have in common;  Tupac Shakur (the late, but not lamented), Britney Spears, Lil' Kim, Don McLean, Eminem, Metallica, Bruce Springsteen, Aerosmith, and Meat Loaf?

Give up?  Oh please do, for the answer will make you smile.

It seems that the then commander in Iraq, Lt. Gen Ricardo Sanchez, authorized the use of systematically applied loud music upon the hundreds of detainees in Guantanmo commencing in September of 2003.  That means, of course, that the military has been repeatedly piping in music from all of the artists identified above for the past five years.  The tactic, according to Sanchez, was meant to "create fear, disorient. . .and prolong capture shock."  The experience has indeed proven to be overwhelming for many of the detainees, prodding one detainee to swear that he has seen cellmates screaming and smashing their heads against walls unable to endure any more.

One interrogator at Guantanamo Bay has bragged to the FBI that he only needed four days to "break" someone by alternating 16 hours of music and lights with four hours of silence and darkness.  That does give rise to a query about what took place during the remaining four hours of a "work day?"  Perhaps four hours of waiting for the music to start again might make one wonder why the Carly Simon song "Anticipation" wasn't similarly applied to the miscreants?  

What was particularly startling to Frodo was that not all of the music is hard rock.  Christopher Cerf, who wrote the music for "Sesame Street" was horrified himself to learn that songs of his own creation were applied to the internees.  In fact, the song "I Love You," from the TV show "Barney & Friends" is cited as one of the most frequently repeated songs, albeit not by popular request we are told.  Perhaps it shows that we are a small world, after all.

Frodo chuckled when he learned that another frequently repeated song, from the pen of the "Boss," is "Born in the USA."  That'll teach them.  Try to get that title out of your mind.  It certainly compares favorably to driving your Chevy to the levee, even though it was dry.

Waterboarding?  Frodo bets that they begin to beg for it knowing that Nine Inch Nails are next on the replay button (that is a rock group, for you who may be culturally handicapped).  Remember, as we've been assured, "The United States doesn't torture." 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:51 PM EST

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Mood:  smelly

Huey Long, known affectionately as the "Kingfish" in Louisiana politics, had few equals when it came to gall.  Frodo's favorite story took place in Winnfield, Louisiana, during a speech to support the Governor's re-election.  Long said words to the effect that he highly resented the United States Government and its effort to convict him for the theft of one million in taxpayer dollars.  "I didn't steal one million dollars.  I stole two million dollars."

Applause, closely followed by the re-election of the Governor.

Some years later, Edwin Edwards, from Crowley, Louisiana, became the closest thing to a successor to Huey Long.  In a series of conflicts with the Internal Revenue Service, the FBI, and probably every other agency licensed to carry firearms, Edwards eventually found himself in a re-election race against David Duke, of Ku Klux Klan reknown.  Voters in the "Pelican State" did not shy away from the bumper-stickers which read "Vote for the Crook, It's Important."

Applause, closely followed by the re-election of the Governor.

The fourth of the past eight Governors from the State of Illinois was today greeted by the presence of the FBI on his front stoop at 6:00 AM, and arrested for public bribery and a multitude of other charges in a 78-page indictment.  Frodo has to admit that he was impressed by the 50% figure achieved by the US Attorneys Office in the Northern District of Illinois.  However, it is important to remember names like William Jefferson (he of the $90K in cold cash found in his freezer), Bob Livingston (who served as House Speaker for three days after Newt Gingrich while testing Viagra on a constituent), and of course, the current US Senator, Mr. Vidrine, whose wife seemed to have a predilection for leopard-skin, or so it appeared on TV (Frodo feels she should have used her claws on his genitals).  Corruption, in public, is not limited to the Governors in Louisiana; it is universal.  The challengers from Illinois, Maryland, Mississippi, and most certainly New Jersey, are merely pretenders to the throne.

Applause, closely followed by a marching band chanting "We're Number One."

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:02 PM EST

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Mood:  caffeinated

"We may not make a university student out of him, but if we can teach him to read and write, maybe he can work at the post office rather than as a garbage man when he gets through with his athletic career."---from the opening statement by University of Georgia attorney Hale Almand, defending the University against charges of placing student athletes in preferential treatment, 1986.

Professor Jan Kemp died Friday from complications associated with Alzheimer's; she was 59.  Named by PEOPLE magazine as a hero "of the eighties," she was admired and reviled for filing a lawsuit against the University of Georgia after she was fired for refusing to inflate grades for UGA football players.  The six week trial resulted in the firing of the long-time President of the University, Fred Davison, and Kemp eventually collected $1.1 Million.

The crescendo of the trial came when the "Developmental Studies" Department Head, Leroy Ervin, was overheard on a secretly-taped faculty meeting to say "I know for a fact that these kids would not be here if it were not for their utility to the institution. . .They are used as a kind of raw material in the production of some goods to be sold as whatever product, and they get nothing in return."

Dr. Kemp remained in the Athens community the rest of her life, teaching in the local technical college and high schools until her physical condition would no longer permit her to do so.

In 1986, Barack Obama was 25. 

Fitting it is, opines Frodo, that Saxby Chambliss attributed his run-off election victory to "Georgia values."

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:06 PM EST

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Mood:  quizzical

Frodo is a reluctant commentator on issues du jour.  It has always been his preference to allow the zealots their time-on-air, and to take a longer, more big picture approach to issues that may or may not be as important as they first appear.  In the case of the automotive industry, Frodo has truly listened to arguments with credibility, albeit absent anything other than that which permits a medical diagnosis to be similarly based only on the experience of a few isolated cases.  Frodo's opinion, it seems, is being  formulated in the same manner.  Frodo sincerely hopes that if President-Elect Obama should accidentally read these words, then he should understand that Frodo is talking out loud, and not dictating policy.

Frodo's father was in Germany when the European version of World War II ended.  Frodo's father returned home in January of 1946, and Frodo drew his first breath as a citizen almost exactly nine months later.  From that first moment, Frodo was exposed to the belief that the Great War ended properly because the "sleeping giant" was able to re-tool its' industries into a war machine, and to overwhelm the deficit which planning and preparation by the Axis powers had used to nearly destroy the land which fostered Frodo.

The manufacturing aspect of American industry in 1942 was shaped into the production of tanks, jeeps, airplanes, and machine guns, where only days before there had been bicycles, automobiles, and candy bars.  Quite obviously, the automotive assembly lines were an integral part of the final victory over those fascists.  So why, Frodo asks, would we run the risk of removing that capacity from our present and future ability to respond and re-tool?  Frodo has not satisfactorily answered that question in his own mind, much less in the words of any talking-head.

When the War ended, Frodo's father drove trucks and machines that hauled raw materials into the smelter that truly ended the Great Depression.  Today, as Frodo understands the debate, it is argued that the absence of what could be millions of wage-earning jobs would be absorbed by either new technology, or more efficient-industry.  Frodo's father, in all candor, did exactly that when he moved Frodo and his family to the larger environment and learned new skills.  The difficulty in that comparison is that Frodo's father was not 2.5 million people, and the one job he found does not exist in the volumes potentially required.  The result, it seems, would be a lot of hungry people, at least for a period of time.

Frodo believes that Barack Obama is a wise man, who will approach momentous issues with a sense of purpose, as opposed to something merely partisan.  Tom Joad, in the mind of Frodo, is standing in the dirt somewhere in Oklahoma, even now, watching a turtle cross the road.  Where these two took those who depended on them will be more than one great novel, and it will go beyond sheer endurance and determination.  The analogy though, is pretty good. 

In a truck it was that the Joad family struck out for California, a truck made in America.            

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:35 PM EST

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Mood:  amorous

Nestor Kirchner is the former President of Argentina.  Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner is the current President of Argentina.  Julio Cobos is the current Vice President of Argentina.  The official residence of the President of Argentina is known as the Pink House.

Julio Cobos was suggested for the Vice Presidency by the outgoing President to the incoming President.  Since July 27th however, the Vice President has not spoken in person or on the phone with the President.  Instead, the former President jokes that the current President asks him every morning to identify which Vice President he stuck her with today?  According to a spokesman for the Argentine Agrarian Foundation, the trouble all started because of the "intolerant and authoritarian style of the Kirchners."

President de Kirchner, it seems, is a bit put off by the fact that on the 17th of July, the Vice President cast the deciding vote against her four-month-long attempt to raise taxes on farm exports.  That vote made the 53-year-old former governor of Mendoza Province an instant hero to an overwhelming majority of ordinary Argentinians.  Such a hero, in fact, that opinion polls now suggest that more than 80 percent of the citizenry rejects the Presidents' attempt to force the resignation of the Vice President.  "My idea is to continue working in a way that allows me to be true to my conventions and my principles," he offered to the Argentinian Press.

When queried about his political future, Cobos stated, "I have a committment until 2011, and then we will see what my destiny is in politics."

Is it true that toilets flush counter-clockwise south of the equator?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:49 PM EST

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Mood:  quizzical

It is no secret that the Shire has been experiencing drought conditions for quite some time, in fact the reservoir lake levels are lower now than they were at the same point in time last year.  Frodo has been unable to wash his motorcar as an act of physical exertion on a Saturday morning for more than a year.  Should he be so tempted, the "water police" are on constant patrol, moreso even than those who search for illegal immigrants plucking feathers from chickens.  Frodo usually takes his motorcar to an authorized car wash, supposedly using recycled water, and pays about $6 just to remove road grime.  Today however, it is raining and Frodo is watching the cold drizzle that will prevent anything but brief excursions out-of-doors to meet the natural needs of the canine contingent.

It is also the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and that means football, all day long, piped directly into the area adjacent to Frodo's favorite sofa.  It would seem that a day of rest, accompanied by mindless concentration on insignificant events, would be just what the doctor would order for the stressful life of the Hobbit.  No thought given to terrorists, fundamentalists, Texans, the stock market, Sarah Palin, or relational intrigue of any kind.  Concentrate only on the formation of a ham sandwich, a few chips, an apple for good measure, and a draft light when time-outs aver the opportunity.

So why is Frodo blue?

If the sun were shining, then Frodo would miss all the relaxation, and would wreak havoc on his lumbar region by removing every single leaf from the grounds of the Shire.  He would toss the tennis ball for hours on end to the one who snoozes upon his socks this very moment.  He would wash $6 down a drainpipe.  He would scout for "Saxby" signs that could be turned away from the view of those who might be encouraged to vote for one who has done nothing save an improvement to his golf score in the past six years.  At the end of the day he would watch videotape of the games he had missed, eat a ham sandwich, and drink that beer.

It is the loss of choice that befuddles Frodo.  Instead of taking full advantage, he begins to contemplate the tasks undone.  The kerosene heater that makes the Florida room toasty all winter needs cleaning, if not now, then a week or so after Sam begins haranguing him for not previously having done so.  On-line correspondence to a plethora of long ago visited friends in faraway locations has reached epidemic proportions.  Business research on prospective clients resting too long undone provides only fodder to potential competitors.  There is, also, the disaster known as a garage which houses so many unused items that the Salvation Army would make multiple house calls, if so summoned.

Decision-making should be avoided on certain days, that is for sure.  On this day, Frodo will be wisest if he worries only about the point spread in Athens, then to a turning of his attention to Phil Fulmer's final game in Knoxville.  That should bring him to the point of sandwich construction.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:56 AM EST

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Mood:  blue

Fiona and Mick, the Wonder Dog, raced across the empty parking lot of the School of the Shire, while Frodo was distracted by the now-familiar call on the morning breeze.  Against an all-blue sky on Thanksgiving Day, the Sandhill Cranes were now less than one state away from their winter home in the Okeefenokee.  Frodo's canine friends were not about to be distracted from a mid-week romp, so Frodo was unable to tarry in appreciation.  Upon his return he noted the now-familiar pink ribbons marking property lines, this time upon that of his neighbors, parent to Jessica and "Chipper."

Brian and Carolyn are outstanding parents, and their children are favorites of the Hobbit.  This past Halloween they were Princess Leia and Lord Vader, in costumes that exhibited many hours of motherly love, and a deep appreciation for the importance of a truly realistic light saber.  Brian is a musician, and he has had multiple heart surgeries.  He is no longer "insurable" in Middle Earth, and the inconsistency of income makes life very difficult for such good people.  They have not lived beyond their means, and they did not buy a house that was beyond their means.  Frodo fears however, that the pink ribbons do not mean a simple re-financing. 

The reports from the city formerly known as Bombay cause Frodo to imagine what it must have been like in their city on the day that the nihilists destroyed so many lives in 2001.  Surely, he thought, they cried too, and wished that they could do something to help end the needless suffering of just plain people, who didn't do anything to hurt anybody.  As this story continues, even now, to unfold, it appears that those without conscience were Pakistanis, and therefore, probably Islamic.

Frodo must note that the weapons, and the expenses for this conflagration probably came from some of the $10B paid to Musharraf by those who sought his assistance against Islamic terrorists.  The money these monsters used was probably American dollars.  The truth hurts, doesn't it, dear reader?

The other truth is equally painful.  The continuing fundamentalist violence, all around our small, blue planet, does not come from dissimilar circumstances.  It is not the Shinto, or the Buddhist, the Hindu, or even the Zoroastrian; rather, the violence stems from the monotheists, those who believe in one God.  Dear reader, it is Islamic, it is Jewish, and it is Christian.  It seems to Frodo that the three largest religious groups in all the world represent the impetus to violence.  Perhaps it is merely an unwillingness to retreat from the realization that the one God is "our" god, and not that of the other guy.  On the other hand, the polytheists believe in flexibility, and perhaps the simplicity of the fact that if one God doesn't deliver, we simply change channels.

At some point in time, it is the essence of humanity to rale against the injustices of life.  Watching good, hardworking people lose a house is not fair.  Watching subhuman cretins assault all of civilized society is beyond temperance.  Ah, dear reader, the bridges before us are filled with peril, and those which we now cross are threatening, to be sure.  Important it is that we don't waste time or effort commiserating about that which lies behind us.  Still, had he the chance, Frodo would truly enjoy kicking the ass of either Dick Cheney or anyone who would entice the "Deccan Mujahadien."  There is not a dime's worth of difference between them.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 5:47 PM EST

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Mood:  don't ask

Despite Frodo's immediate preference for Barack Obama, Frodo, quite characteristically, withheld making any predictions about the outcome of either the nomination or the election process.  Allegorically speaking, Frodo long ago learned that everything involved in the brewing and preparation of a cup of tea can be negated by the accidental addition of a teaspoonful of salt.  Predicting the outcome of political events is dependent upon human behavior, which is, of course, unpredictable.

That being said, Frodo has been considering the final days of George W. Bush and the residual effects on the small, blue planet.  It must be grating for Bush to experience the public comments of the Shiite leadership in Iraq.  Demonstrations occur with some regularity urging the swift withdrawal of US military personnel, in contrast to the creation of a memorial to George W. Bush, as once proffered by Richard Perle, the Neo-Con of Neo-Cons.  Perhaps, thinks Frodo, it is merely illustrative of that which is most likely to occur in time to come.

Americans were startled by videotaped replay of Shiite religious ceremonies when true Iranian nut cases stormed the US Embassy during the Carter years.  To see the faithful whipping themselves in a symbolic display of deity devotion seemed as strange as, say, communion in a Protestant Church might seem to Shiites, for example.  To now realize that the one definitive outcome of the Pre-Emptive War initiated by George W. Bush is that another fundamentalist Shiite government, Iraq,  has been created and added into the mixing bowl of international relations. 

Frodo contends that little time will pass before the Shiite, now ruling, majority in Iraq will seek "payback" from the Sunni minority, who populated the Baathist regime of the late Saddam Hussein.  These guys, Sunnis and Shiites, have gotten along for centuries almost as well as did the Protestants and the Catholics in Belfast.  It is for this reason that the Shiites are so anxious for the Americans to leave.  Not unlike the final words spoken by the executioners of Saddam, it is the will of al-Sadr that hangs heavy over the future of the nation that isn't.

The William Kristolites who argue that the true legacy of George W. Bush will not be evident until years in the future are, for the wrong reasons, absolutely correct.  There will, Frodo predicts, be no continuing growth of democracy in that region, rather the continuing civil war will fester as long as theocracy is an acceptable alternative.  The Bush legacy will be the loss of American prestige, sacred honor, lives, and fortune.

Would that it were already the 23rd day of January, and the Incomparable Moron would already have exited the world stage, never to return. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:36 AM EST

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Mood:  party time!

Frodo grew up playing team sports.  To this day the Hobbit is enthralled by games that require sacrifice by some, in order to ensure victory for all.  In the world of Intercollegiate Athletics, Frodo has taken note of the President-Elect and his position that a "play-off" is required in order to properly determine a "National Champion" in Football.  Frodo is bored by the prospect.

Why not simply take the best academic school, with the most number of victories, and declare that school the "National Champion?"  The only negative is that the Southeastern Conference, composed of the worst academically-rated universities in all the land, would therefore never have a "National Champion." 

Frodo always roots for the best academic school.  If Harvard, for example, were to play the College of the Shire, Frodo would root for Harvard.  Frodo has a problem only when two deficient academic schools, say like Alabama and Texas, play each other.  In this instance, Frodo roots either for a scoreless tie, or a forfeit.

Frodo raises this issue because of something pretty neat that took place just last evening.  At 6:10 PM, the space shuttle Endeavour passed over Bobby Dodd Stadium in Atlanta.  This preceeded the kickoff of the game between Georgia Tech and the University of Miami, which took place at 7:45 PM.  On board as crew members were three graduates, including one woman, of Georgia Tech.  To commemorate the event, the video board at the stadium received a live feed from the space shuttle, and the Tech graduates were saluted by all those in attendance on the ground.  At least one of the on-field celebrants wore a self-designed spacesuit.

Georgia Tech, with a devastating ground game, as well as superiority in the air, kicked the bejabbers out of the Miami Hurricanes. 

It's a damn good thing they weren't playing Notre Dame.  Come home safe boys and girls, Frodo cheers loudest for you.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:43 PM EST

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Mood:  silly

Some time ago Frodo remarked about Mick, the Wonder Dog, and his unending joy as a passenger in Frodo's motorcar.  Recently, in Pryor, Oklahoma, a 70-pound pit bull did him one better.  He served notice on all the world that he was fully prepared to navigate himself, and that should give special pause to Michael Vick, should he ever again become a pedestrian.

Joe D'Plummer was washing his motorcar at a commercial car wash while his dog waited patiently inside the vehicle.  For whatever reason, the dog suddenly jumped on the dash, and the car somehow was shifted into reverse.  As the automobile backed out of the car wash bay, the dog stood guard over the steering wheel and seemed to be in total control as he looped out onto the highway and circled back to a safe stop at an automated car wash lane.

Pryor police officer Brent Crittenden reported that the vehicle was impounded because neither the driver nor the owner could provide proof of insurance.  Because the dog was properly registered with the City of Pryor however, he was not taken into custody and Joe was allowed to walk the pooch home.  A court date has not been set.

The dog's name, you ask?  Would you believe Dale Earnhart?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:37 PM EST

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