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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
"On Her Code?" (4)
"On Vacation, I'm Sure"
"One Act Play"
"One Down, More Comin'"
"One For the Good Guys"
"One More Round" (4)
"One Orbit of the Sun"(2)
"Only 434 More to Go" (2)
"Opportunity Sox" (3)
"Or the Yellow Peril?"(6)
"Osama Can You See?" (2)
"Our God Is Better" (3)
"Our Town" (5)
"Our Town" (8)
"Out Damned Spot (2)"
"Out of Kilter" (5)
"Out of the Ashes" (4)
"Overdue Books" (3)
"Pace Car" (3)
"Painted Toenails?"(4)
"Panic Attack"(10)
"Pants on Fire"
"Parade of Horribles"(4)
"Part Two" (5)
"Pass the Malais" (4)
"Passion Flowers" (5)
"Past is Prologue" (3)
"Pat bin Laden"
"Patsy for America"
"Peaceful Easy Feelin"(3)
"Peacetakescourage" (3)
"Permanent Vacation" (5)
"Persons of the Year"
"Philadelphia Bunnyface?"
"Philosopher Kings" (4)
"Pickled Cabbage?"
"Picture of Frodo"(5)
"Pilot Wales" (2)
"Pirate Booty"
"Pit Bull Revenge"(4)
"Pius Baloney I" (7)
"Place of Good Abode" (3)
"Plaque 42W, Line 12"
"Play It Again, Sam"
"Play Melancholy Baby"
"Play the Frodo Game"(6)
"Playin' Possum" (3)
"Poland Parole Patrol"(5)
"Polish or Polish?"
"Poll Results Just In"
"Poly Sci 101"(9)
"Poor People"
"Pope for a Day" (10)
"Pope-a-Dope" (5)
"Popeil Veg-o-matic"
"Potty Training" (3)
"Power Surge"(9)
"Pray for, Gas?" (4)
"Pray With Me Henry" (2)
"Pre-emptive Passages"(2)
"Preemptive Invasion"
"Presidential Erection"
"Problem, Officer?" (3)
"Problem, Officer?" (5)
"Problems?" (4)
"Promises Made" (3)
"Promises To Keep" (5)
"Promises to Keep"(9)
"Proud I Am"
"Proud Walter" (5)
"Proxy Server Error" (4)
"Prudent" (10)
"Psychiatrist,5 cents"(6)
"Pugnacious Maverick"
"Pulitzer Means Squat"(8)
"Punxatawney Bush"
"Puppy Angel" (2)
"Purple Pill Please" (2)
"Putin Tang" (3)
"Qaddafi Wins, For Now"(7)
"Qualified? Yeah Right!"
"Quayle Hunting"
"Queen of Memphis"
"Queen of the Damned"
"Quittin' Time" (8)
"Quoth the Raven"(7)
"QVC and Dorothy"
"Qwest For Truth (2)"
"Radio and TV"(7)
"Rain, Rain, Go Away?"(4)
"Rainy Day in Georgia(2)"
"Raptor Rapture" (7)
"Read All About It" (5)
"Real Men Don't Shop"(4)
"Rechargin' da Shire"(11)
"Recycled Air (Gasp)" (2)
"Red Sky at Morning" (3)
"Red Sky at Morning"(5)
"Reduced Flow Flush"(5)
"Reimers' Rhymers"(5)
"Remember These?"
"Remembering Jessica" (2)
"Remote Outpost" (7)
"Render Unto Wright" (4)
"Reverend LeRoy" (3)
"Rice on Hot Tin Roof(2)"
"Rick Santa Anna"(5)
"Right Not Privilege" (4)
"Road to Damascus"
"Road Trip" (5)
"Roads Scholar" (8)
"Rocket Man"
"Rocket Man" (5)
"Rockets Red Glare" (5)
"Rocks Rox"(8)
"Roger the Dodger"(4)
"Roger Williams Sucks"(2)
"Rooty-Toot" (6)
"Rose Garden Promises"(4)
"Royal Portrait" (2)
"Rubber Ducky" (2)
"Rubio's Cube"(6)
"Rules" (6)
"Rules" (7)
"Rumblin' Bumblin'" (3)
"Rumsfeldstiltskin" (2)
"Run Eddie, Run" (5)
"Run Far, Run Fast"(7)
"Run Forrest, Run"
"Run, old hare!"
"Runaround Tsu"
"Runs in the Family" (3)
"Rwanda Go Home?"(6)
"S'long Sarong (2)"
"Sabato Knows" (2)
"Sam Shopping" (2)
"San Juan de Capistrano"
"Sandy Hook" (8)
"Santos v. Vinnick"
"Satire-Apology to Mick"
"Sauron Psalms" (2)
"Sauron's Scythe" (4)
"Savin' Gas" (4)
"SAWB" (3)
"Say Cheese"(7)
"Say It Ain't So,Jo"(4)
"Say It Ain't So,Joe" (2)
"School Holiday" (4)
"Science Marches On"
"Scooter" (2)
"Scott Free" (4)
"Sears and Loveaduck" (5)
"Second Line (2)"
"Second of Two" (4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(9)
"Seen Any Blue Swans?"(3)
"Selective Service"(8)
"September Twelfth"(5)
"Serendipity Strikes" (3)
"Serge is Working?" (3)
"Serious,For A Change"(6)
"Seven Samurai" (5)
"Sex or Gender?"
"Sexiest Man Alive"(5)
"Shaken, not stirred"(10)
"She is No Ma Kettle"
"Sheep and Museums"
"Sheep in Mindanao?"
"Shenandoah Rangers"(7)
"Shenandoah" (6)
"Shire Sunset"
"Shock and Awe" (4)
"Shoot 'em, Vern"
"Side by Side" (7)
"Sidin' With Anemone"(4)
"Silence of the Lambs"(2)
"Silent, but deadly"(6)
"Sing It Again" (4)
"Sink or Swim"
"Sir A Gut" (3)
"Six Days on the Road"
"Skull and Bones"(4)
"Skunk Cabbage" (3)
"Sleepy Time (2)"
"Slippin' and a Slidin'"
"Sludge Stimulus" (5)
"Small Businesses-Ha!"(6)
"Small Gray Planet"(2)
"Small Victories"
"Smellin' Roses"
"Smirk Jerk" (2)
"Smokin' Pesticide Dope"
"Smoochy Time" (4)
"Snazis" (2)
"Snow Tan"(11)
"Snowiches" (6)
"So Who's Sluggo?" (2)
"Social Security Reform"
"Social Security" (7)
"Socrates and Friends"(5)
"Soldier of the King"
"Soldier of the Storm(2)"
"Solitary Isolation" (3)
"Solving a Problem"(9)
"Somethin' Borrowed"(5)
"Something in Commons"(5)
"Sometimes Life Sucks"(4)
"Sorcerer's Apprentice"
"Soul Train" (5)
"Souter Rules, Dude"
"Southern Ladies" (5)
"Sow's Ear from Silk"(5)
"Space Poop" (3)
"Speechifyin'" (4)
"Speedy Gonzales" (3)
"Spelling, -23" (6)
"Sperm Count" (3)
"Spiro T. Palin" (4)
"Spoonerized" (6)
"Spring Equal Knox" (3)
"St. George" (4)
"Stan & Ollie"(7)
"State Dinner" (3)
"States' Rahts" (3)
"Sticker Shock"
"Stolen Bases" (3)
"Stragedy" (2)
"Stragedy" (8)
"Strangerthan fiction"(6)
"Strip Searched" (9)
"Stupidly" (5)
"Stupor Bowl Sunday"(2)
"Subsidizing Seeds"(6)
"Sunday, Sunday"(9)
"Sunni Daze" (4)
"Supportin' da Troops"(2)
"Supportin' da Troops"(3)
"Survey Says" (6)
"Sweet Georgia Brown"
"Swiss Miss" (5)
"Take a letter, dearie"
"Take It Off Baby" (5)
"Takes a Worried Man"(4)
"Talibanme Banana"(8)
"Talkin' Turkey" (3)
"Tax Driver" (9)
"Taxpayer Assistance (2)"
"Tea Olive" (7)
"Tear Down That Wall"(4)
"Teflon Causes Cancer"
"Ten Cent Coke" (3)
"Tennessee Stinks" (6)
"Term Paper" (5)
"Terminal? Great!"
"Terre Bonne" (6)
"Terrible Swift Sword"(6)
"Terrible Two's" (2)
"Tess of D'Uberville"(8)
"Tess of the Dorghis" (8)
"Texas Exes" (8)
"Thank the Academy"(4)
"Thank You Rand Paul"
"Thank You, Molly" (2)
"Thanks, Dad" (3)
"Thar She Blows"
"That Looks Like Me"(5)
"That's the way it is"(5)
"Thawt Yuze a Toad"(7)
"The 60 Year Struggle"(5)
"The Atlanta Eye" (6)
"The Blue Dog"(11)
"The Boston Massacre"(9)
"The Boys of '63" (8)
"The Brotherhood Begins"
"The Eyes of Texas"
"The Forum" (2)
"The Future is Now (2)"
"The Garden of Good"
"The Good Book" (4)
"The Good Doctor"(6)
"The Great Quixote" (9)
"The Grumpy Dwarf"(9)
"The Important Stuff"
"The Italian Stallion"
"The Litany" (6)
"The Longest Day" (5)
"The Non-Issue" (3)
"The Perfect Storm" (2)
"The Pre-Fellowship"(4)
"The Prophecy"
"The Real Rhett" (4)
"The Second Amendment"
"The Silver Sow Award"(3)
"The Splurge" (4)
"The Turtle" (3)
"The Union Label"(6)
"There is a Virginia" (2)
"They're He-ear" (4)
"Thin Ice, Frodo" (4)
"Third Strike Nuance (2)"
"This Day in History"(3)
"This, Too, Shall Pass"
"Three A.M." (4)
"Three Siblings" (4)
"Three Votes Short" (3)
"Thriller" (9)
"Thunder Road"
"Thy Name be Peace" (2)
"Tie a Yellow Ribbon" (3)
"Tiger By The Tail" (5)
"Time to Cut Brush" (3)
"Time With Friends" (3)
"Times A' Wastin'" (3)
"Title IX Disaster" (5)
"To Arms, To Arms"
"To the Hoop (2)"
"Together Again" (3)
"Tokyo Rush" (5)
"Tom Bombadil isDying"(7)
"Tom Bombadil Returns"(9)
"Tom" (4)
"Top Two Percent" (7)
"Tora Bora Lora. . ." (2)
"Torah, Torah..."(6)
"Toro, Andalay,Toro (2)"
"Touchdown Swabbie" (3)
"Tovarich" (4)
"Tra La,Spring,Tra La"(6)
"Train Wreck"(8)
"Transparency" (4)
"Travel Sucks" (4)
"Tree Fishin' (2)"
"Trees v. Forest"(9)
"Trekking Mount Doom" (2)
"Tripod Hackers?"(9)
"Trouble Sleepin'" (3)
"Truckin' for Isaiah" (3)
"Truly,Totally, Nuts"(3)
"Tuesdays with Nancy"(4)
"Tullahoma Tequila (2)"
"Tumbler" (3)
"Turkey Day Walkabout"(2)
"TW3" (3)
"Tweety Pie" (2)
"Twenty to Life" (5)
"Twismas Tunes" (5)
"Twisted Sister" (4)
"Two Americas" (4)
"Two Americas" (9)
"Two Steps Back" (4)
"Two Thousand, Ate" (4)
"Unademdaze" (4)
"Unborn in the USA" (6)
"Unbroken Circle" (7)
"Unconditional Surrender"
"Unconventional, you say?"(7)
"Underdog Shmunderdog"(4)
"Unmarked Grave" (6)
"Untimely Events"
"UR Number Is Up" (7)
"Vacation Brouhaha" (3)
"Vacation Comin'" (2)
"Vandals at the Gates"(2)
"Vat of Chocolate"(6)
"Vero Possumus" (4)
"Veto Shmetoe (2)"
"Vick Drops, Cough!" (3)
"Video Thriller"(5)
"Vinson Can Gogh"(6)
"Virgin Birth" (2)
"Virginia is 4 Lovers"(4)
"Virginia Lovers" (4)
"Vom Winde Verweht" (2)
"Vote for Steve" (2)
"Vote Frodo (Not)"(7)
"W is for Wuss""
"Wait 'til Next Year" (2)
"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
"Walkin' in the Woods"(5)
"Walkin' the Dogs"(8)
"Walkin' the Walk"
"Wall of Libertad"
"War on Middle Class"(2)
"War on Tara"
"Warm Bucket of Spit"(4)
"Was Miers His Attorney?"
"Watch Mr. Wizard" (3)
"Water Into Wine" (11)
"Water into Wine?"
"Watts da plan, Man?"(5)
"Wayne Johnson"(4)
"We Make a Better Day"(5)
"We Sank a Truck"
"We Will Rock You"
"Weather Channel Follies"
"Weddin' Down South" (3)
"Wedding Bell Blues"
"Weeds Way Is Up?"(5)
"Weepy Seepy Peepee"(3)
"Welcome Home, Soldier"
"Well, Duh!"
"Well, Poop"(8)
"West Wing Redux" (2)
"What Goes Around" (6)
"What if JR Shot Back"(9)
"What is a Shimkus?" (2)
"What Mark Felt"
"What Schedule?" (2)
"What Time Is It (2)"
"What We Have Here (2)"
"What Would Mitt Do?"(3)
"What's A Cubit?"
"What's a Sgarbi?" (5)
"What, Me Worry?"
"What, Me Worry?" (3)
"Where Sun Doan Shine"(8)
"Where's Frodo?" (5)
"Where's my puppy?"(4)
"Where's the Beef?"
"Where's the Fire?"(5)
"Whither Frodo?"
"Whitman's Sampler"(6)
"Who Dat Say Who Dat?"
"Who dat?" (2)
"Who did it?" (2)
"Who Torted?"
"Who Was That Guy?" (5)
"Who's In Line?"(6)
"Who's We, White Boy?"(3)
"Why are you here"?(3)
"Why are you here?" (3)
"Why Black Folks Cheered"
"Wiccan I do for you?"(2)
"Wicked Pickett"
"Wide Stance" (4)
"Will better be?"(7)
"Willard" (7)
"Willie B had heart" (5)
"Winchester Women (2)"
"Wink at the Moon"
"Winter Solstice"
"Wishin' and Hopin'"
"Wither Channels" (5)
"Wither Weather"(9)
"Wither Weather?"(4)
"WMD in the Shire"(6)
"Words To Live By"(7)
"Workin' on Night Moves"
"Worst Candidate Ever"(8)
"Worth Waiting For?"(5)
"Write a Letter" (7)
"Writer's Block" (2)
"Wrong Again, Frodo"(3)
"Wyomin' Gloamin'" (2)
"Xmas in Shreveport"(6)
"Yahoo" (4)
"Yankee Humor" (5)
"Yankee Ingenuity"
"Yella Rose a Taxes"(4)
"Yellow Peril" (3)
"Yes, No, Who Knows?" (2)
"You Betcha" (6)
"You Put Your Eye Out"(2)
"You Snake in the Grass"
"You Take the High Road"
"Zimmerman Noted"(6)
"Zinni in Bloom (2)"
"Zounds, Sounds!" (5)
"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Monday, December 15, 2008
I Will Always Love You
Mood:  hug me
Topic: "Christian the Lion"(4)

"Few there are," said Frodo, "familiar not with Joy Adamson and 'Born Free'."  Frodo has probably never spoken truer words.  In movie theaters, domestic and foreign, forty years ago, people everywhere knew Elsa and her relationship to the pairing of George and Joy Adamson.  The release of something so beautiful back to the wild touched heartstrings in people not otherwise known for even bearing the necessary organ.  In what were truly tumultuous times, the whole world seemed transfixed by the humanity involved, and we all had a good cry, just when we needed it most.

These are difficult times, again.  It goes without saying, and repetition accomplishes little in such a litany, that anxiety is rife.  Perhaps that is what led Frodo to "Google" the video.  Maybe it was the simple desire to observe the artistic application of a great voice to home-made movies.  More likely than not, it was some sort of need to know that mankind does reach out beyond himself, and that, sometimes, he gets a kiss.

Dear reader, you deserve something special.  Go and find "Christian the Lion Full-Music Video" ("lion" and "video" are all you need at "Google"), the search will not hurt you, and don't forget the tissues.  For the next four minutes just sit back and enjoy the marvelous Whitney, and make up your own dream about the lives we try to lead.  

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:52 PM EST
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Sunday, December 14, 2008
Stop, Look Around, Here It Comes
Mood:  smelly
Topic: "Mon Petit Shoe"(4)

"I say it was a pair of Crocs."

"What do you think they did with the guy?  Abu Ghraib?  Guantanamo?  Or maybe they simply turned him over to al Sadr for 'the final solution'?"

"So was it the Secret Service that wrestled him to the ground, or a local?  Actually, he kind of looked like that guy from The Weather Channel who is always broadcasting from the place where the hurricane comes ashore."

"I understand he is dyslexic.  That explains why he kept calling Goober a dog."

"Have any of the rest of you ever heard him purposely say something funny?  Size 10, you say.  I wonder if that's Barneys' Mamas' dress size?"

"I understand somebody once threw a cabbage at Garfield when he was running for President, and after it stopped rolling across the stage, he looked down at it and remarked "I see my opponent has lost his head.'"

"Speaking of head, did you see Gregory on 'Meet the Press'?"

"So, where is this magical mystery tour taking us now?"

"I'll bet it's somewhere where no one wears shoes."

"Not Alabama again!"

"Are we going to get back home in time to save the automakers, prop up the stock market, or ride mountain bikes with Goober?"

"Truthfully, aren't you guys going to miss him?"

"What, do I look like 18% of the population?"

"What do you think the Magician would do if somebody threw their shoes at him?"

"Ha, he'd probably catch them and autograph them."

"I'd buy them."

"Did you notice that Goober actually ducked and avoided the first one?  The second one was kind of high and outside the strike zone."

"Did you notice no one jumped in front of him to take one for the Goober?"

"Would you?"


"Ladies and Gentlemen of the White House Press Corps, please return to your seats and prepare for landing.  Please raise your seats to their upright level, and fasten tray tables in front of you.  We are approaching our final stop before heading home tomorrow.  We should be on the ground momentarily."


"Hey, truthfully, does anybody recognize where we are?"

"Well I'll be, I do recognize the place. I did sports here for the ABC affiliate. Ladies and gentlemen, you will be privileged to attend the last visit of the President to Memphis."


"Yeah dude, we're going to Graceland."

"I get it, Elvis has left the building."



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:08 PM EST
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Saturday, December 13, 2008
We're Caught In A Trap, I Can't Walk Out
Mood:  not sure
Topic: "Another Time/Place"(4)

Frodo had to resolve a dispute between two residents of Middle Earth for whom he had managerial oversight.  Saul was a Jewish guy from Philadelphia who had been a Marine during the War, had a vacation house on Long island, and a daughter from his first marriage on Broadway.  Cloretha was a black woman from Baltimore who had a string of academic credentials, and an unlimited professional future in front of her.  A disagreement on procedure was escalating into something personal, reflecting mutual disdain by the verbal combatants.

Saul, out of respect for Frodo, backed down.  In no short order however, he let Frodo know that he resented the carelessness of the opposition.  He felt that a lack of attention to detail was an indication of greater problems, and that it was a grave error to gloss over potential problems, no matter how insignificant they might seem at first glance.

Cloretha felt that as long as the intent was clear, responsible people would act, well, responsibly.  She indicated to Frodo that Saul was taking a "micro" approach to "macro" issues, and that results, which were significant, were the objective by which a true assessment should be drawn.

Both implied that the others' attitude reflected something sociological.  Frodo did not doubt that some of that was true, but he was required to balance both the achievements and the procedural requirements.  Neither of the combatants agreed with Frodo's final decision, which even Frodo has since long ago forgotten.  The issues however, come often to Frodo's mind.

Saul died of a heart attack some years ago.  His daughter, perhaps with theater lights as a backdrop, wrote Frodo that her father always respected Frodo, and that he had often remarked that Frodo was his best "commanding officer."  Saul never knew how high Frodo's regard will always be for one who served so admirably.

Three-and-a-half years ago, a young man named Brian Nichols broke free from incarceration in the Fulton County Courthouse in Atlanta, secured a firearm, killed four people, and beat another senseless.  Among those he killed were the judge and the prosecuting attorney who had decided his fate in a rape case.  During his escape he killed a prison guard, beat another mercilessly, and later massacred an innocent bystander who happened to be a federal agent.  Frodo took note of these grim news reports, and almost missed the reference to the parents of the alleged murderer. 

Brian Nichols mother was named Cloretha.  At the time of the murders, she and her husband were serving in Africa on an official mission for the United States Government to assist an ally nation in their internal operations.  Eventually, Frodo identified her from televison broadcasts as the same person he had known so long ago.  Although he never made contact, Frodo followed the reported details of her life after that dispute with Saul, and pieced together what had happened.  During the subsequent three-and-a-half years, Frodo listened and watched as Brian Nichols was eventually found guilty, and this morning, was sentenced to life imprisonment, without the possibility of parole, mainly because the jury could not unanimously agree on the death penalty.  Three people stood out from the twelve.

During this time, Frodo noted the defense allegation that much of Brian Nichols behavior was due to the parenting deficiencies of Cloretha and her husband.  The defense argued that because she was away from home so much, in pursuit of her career objectives, that Brian grew up without proper guidance.  Frodo could not help but feel the heartache on the face of a once-proud mother whose whole existence was being shredded publicly, and who had to feel that her son may die because of her ambition, and to the lack of attention she had paid to the details of his upbringing.

Frodo thinks often of Saul Gruber.  It was nothing personal.  He had given her the most important message of her whole life, and she failed to get it.  Knowing him, Frodo is convinced that he is crying for Cloretha Nichols, and for the innocent people who suffered because her son became a monster.  

A part of Frodo is very disappointed that this monster will retain hope to again escape, and to kill again.  Brian Nichols has neither evidenced nor expressed remorse for his crimes.  The other part of Frodo does not believe that a death sentence is ever fully-considered, and that there are no equitable standards for its implementation.  Perhaps, like art, Frodo may not understand all of it, but he certainly knows what he likes.  Osama bin Laden, Brian Nichols, and others, serve no purpose in our lives, dear reader, and we are better off without them. 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 1:30 PM EST
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Wednesday, December 10, 2008
My Blood Runs Cold, My Memory Has Just Been Told
Mood:  lyrical
Topic: "Name That Tune"(4)

Frodo asks, dear reader, what do all of the following have in common;  Tupac Shakur (the late, but not lamented), Britney Spears, Lil' Kim, Don McLean, Eminem, Metallica, Bruce Springsteen, Aerosmith, and Meat Loaf?

Give up?  Oh please do, for the answer will make you smile.

It seems that the then commander in Iraq, Lt. Gen Ricardo Sanchez, authorized the use of systematically applied loud music upon the hundreds of detainees in Guantanmo commencing in September of 2003.  That means, of course, that the military has been repeatedly piping in music from all of the artists identified above for the past five years.  The tactic, according to Sanchez, was meant to "create fear, disorient. . .and prolong capture shock."  The experience has indeed proven to be overwhelming for many of the detainees, prodding one detainee to swear that he has seen cellmates screaming and smashing their heads against walls unable to endure any more.

One interrogator at Guantanamo Bay has bragged to the FBI that he only needed four days to "break" someone by alternating 16 hours of music and lights with four hours of silence and darkness.  That does give rise to a query about what took place during the remaining four hours of a "work day?"  Perhaps four hours of waiting for the music to start again might make one wonder why the Carly Simon song "Anticipation" wasn't similarly applied to the miscreants?  

What was particularly startling to Frodo was that not all of the music is hard rock.  Christopher Cerf, who wrote the music for "Sesame Street" was horrified himself to learn that songs of his own creation were applied to the internees.  In fact, the song "I Love You," from the TV show "Barney & Friends" is cited as one of the most frequently repeated songs, albeit not by popular request we are told.  Perhaps it shows that we are a small world, after all.

Frodo chuckled when he learned that another frequently repeated song, from the pen of the "Boss," is "Born in the USA."  That'll teach them.  Try to get that title out of your mind.  It certainly compares favorably to driving your Chevy to the levee, even though it was dry.

Waterboarding?  Frodo bets that they begin to beg for it knowing that Nine Inch Nails are next on the replay button (that is a rock group, for you who may be culturally handicapped).  Remember, as we've been assured, "The United States doesn't torture." 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:51 PM EST
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Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Just Got Home From Illinois, Lock The Front Door, Oh Boy
Mood:  smelly
Topic: "Damn Close" (4)

Huey Long, known affectionately as the "Kingfish" in Louisiana politics, had few equals when it came to gall.  Frodo's favorite story took place in Winnfield, Louisiana, during a speech to support the Governor's re-election.  Long said words to the effect that he highly resented the United States Government and its effort to convict him for the theft of one million in taxpayer dollars.  "I didn't steal one million dollars.  I stole two million dollars."

Applause, closely followed by the re-election of the Governor.

Some years later, Edwin Edwards, from Crowley, Louisiana, became the closest thing to a successor to Huey Long.  In a series of conflicts with the Internal Revenue Service, the FBI, and probably every other agency licensed to carry firearms, Edwards eventually found himself in a re-election race against David Duke, of Ku Klux Klan reknown.  Voters in the "Pelican State" did not shy away from the bumper-stickers which read "Vote for the Crook, It's Important."

Applause, closely followed by the re-election of the Governor.

The fourth of the past eight Governors from the State of Illinois was today greeted by the presence of the FBI on his front stoop at 6:00 AM, and arrested for public bribery and a multitude of other charges in a 78-page indictment.  Frodo has to admit that he was impressed by the 50% figure achieved by the US Attorneys Office in the Northern District of Illinois.  However, it is important to remember names like William Jefferson (he of the $90K in cold cash found in his freezer), Bob Livingston (who served as House Speaker for three days after Newt Gingrich while testing Viagra on a constituent), and of course, the current US Senator, Mr. Vidrine, whose wife seemed to have a predilection for leopard-skin, or so it appeared on TV (Frodo feels she should have used her claws on his genitals).  Corruption, in public, is not limited to the Governors in Louisiana; it is universal.  The challengers from Illinois, Maryland, Mississippi, and most certainly New Jersey, are merely pretenders to the throne.

Applause, closely followed by a marching band chanting "We're Number One."

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:02 PM EST
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Monday, December 8, 2008
How Gentle Is The Rain
Mood:  caffeinated
Topic: "DevelopmentalStudies"(4)

"We may not make a university student out of him, but if we can teach him to read and write, maybe he can work at the post office rather than as a garbage man when he gets through with his athletic career."---from the opening statement by University of Georgia attorney Hale Almand, defending the University against charges of placing student athletes in preferential treatment, 1986.

Professor Jan Kemp died Friday from complications associated with Alzheimer's; she was 59.  Named by PEOPLE magazine as a hero "of the eighties," she was admired and reviled for filing a lawsuit against the University of Georgia after she was fired for refusing to inflate grades for UGA football players.  The six week trial resulted in the firing of the long-time President of the University, Fred Davison, and Kemp eventually collected $1.1 Million.

The crescendo of the trial came when the "Developmental Studies" Department Head, Leroy Ervin, was overheard on a secretly-taped faculty meeting to say "I know for a fact that these kids would not be here if it were not for their utility to the institution. . .They are used as a kind of raw material in the production of some goods to be sold as whatever product, and they get nothing in return."

Dr. Kemp remained in the Athens community the rest of her life, teaching in the local technical college and high schools until her physical condition would no longer permit her to do so.

In 1986, Barack Obama was 25. 

Fitting it is, opines Frodo, that Saxby Chambliss attributed his run-off election victory to "Georgia values."

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:06 PM EST
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Thursday, December 4, 2008
Remember You Told Me You Loved Me Baby
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: "Assembly LineDancing"(4)

Frodo is a reluctant commentator on issues du jour.  It has always been his preference to allow the zealots their time-on-air, and to take a longer, more big picture approach to issues that may or may not be as important as they first appear.  In the case of the automotive industry, Frodo has truly listened to arguments with credibility, albeit absent anything other than that which permits a medical diagnosis to be similarly based only on the experience of a few isolated cases.  Frodo's opinion, it seems, is being  formulated in the same manner.  Frodo sincerely hopes that if President-Elect Obama should accidentally read these words, then he should understand that Frodo is talking out loud, and not dictating policy.

Frodo's father was in Germany when the European version of World War II ended.  Frodo's father returned home in January of 1946, and Frodo drew his first breath as a citizen almost exactly nine months later.  From that first moment, Frodo was exposed to the belief that the Great War ended properly because the "sleeping giant" was able to re-tool its' industries into a war machine, and to overwhelm the deficit which planning and preparation by the Axis powers had used to nearly destroy the land which fostered Frodo.

The manufacturing aspect of American industry in 1942 was shaped into the production of tanks, jeeps, airplanes, and machine guns, where only days before there had been bicycles, automobiles, and candy bars.  Quite obviously, the automotive assembly lines were an integral part of the final victory over those fascists.  So why, Frodo asks, would we run the risk of removing that capacity from our present and future ability to respond and re-tool?  Frodo has not satisfactorily answered that question in his own mind, much less in the words of any talking-head.

When the War ended, Frodo's father drove trucks and machines that hauled raw materials into the smelter that truly ended the Great Depression.  Today, as Frodo understands the debate, it is argued that the absence of what could be millions of wage-earning jobs would be absorbed by either new technology, or more efficient-industry.  Frodo's father, in all candor, did exactly that when he moved Frodo and his family to the larger environment and learned new skills.  The difficulty in that comparison is that Frodo's father was not 2.5 million people, and the one job he found does not exist in the volumes potentially required.  The result, it seems, would be a lot of hungry people, at least for a period of time.

Frodo believes that Barack Obama is a wise man, who will approach momentous issues with a sense of purpose, as opposed to something merely partisan.  Tom Joad, in the mind of Frodo, is standing in the dirt somewhere in Oklahoma, even now, watching a turtle cross the road.  Where these two took those who depended on them will be more than one great novel, and it will go beyond sheer endurance and determination.  The analogy though, is pretty good. 

In a truck it was that the Joad family struck out for California, a truck made in America.            

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:35 PM EST
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Monday, December 1, 2008
Don't Rock The Boat Baby
Mood:  amorous
Topic: "Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)

Nestor Kirchner is the former President of Argentina.  Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner is the current President of Argentina.  Julio Cobos is the current Vice President of Argentina.  The official residence of the President of Argentina is known as the Pink House.

Julio Cobos was suggested for the Vice Presidency by the outgoing President to the incoming President.  Since July 27th however, the Vice President has not spoken in person or on the phone with the President.  Instead, the former President jokes that the current President asks him every morning to identify which Vice President he stuck her with today?  According to a spokesman for the Argentine Agrarian Foundation, the trouble all started because of the "intolerant and authoritarian style of the Kirchners."

President de Kirchner, it seems, is a bit put off by the fact that on the 17th of July, the Vice President cast the deciding vote against her four-month-long attempt to raise taxes on farm exports.  That vote made the 53-year-old former governor of Mendoza Province an instant hero to an overwhelming majority of ordinary Argentinians.  Such a hero, in fact, that opinion polls now suggest that more than 80 percent of the citizenry rejects the Presidents' attempt to force the resignation of the Vice President.  "My idea is to continue working in a way that allows me to be true to my conventions and my principles," he offered to the Argentinian Press.

When queried about his political future, Cobos stated, "I have a committment until 2011, and then we will see what my destiny is in politics."

Is it true that toilets flush counter-clockwise south of the equator?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:49 PM EST
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Saturday, November 29, 2008
It's A Turn Down Day, Nothin' On My Mind
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: "Rain, Rain, Go Away?"(4)

It is no secret that the Shire has been experiencing drought conditions for quite some time, in fact the reservoir lake levels are lower now than they were at the same point in time last year.  Frodo has been unable to wash his motorcar as an act of physical exertion on a Saturday morning for more than a year.  Should he be so tempted, the "water police" are on constant patrol, moreso even than those who search for illegal immigrants plucking feathers from chickens.  Frodo usually takes his motorcar to an authorized car wash, supposedly using recycled water, and pays about $6 just to remove road grime.  Today however, it is raining and Frodo is watching the cold drizzle that will prevent anything but brief excursions out-of-doors to meet the natural needs of the canine contingent.

It is also the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and that means football, all day long, piped directly into the area adjacent to Frodo's favorite sofa.  It would seem that a day of rest, accompanied by mindless concentration on insignificant events, would be just what the doctor would order for the stressful life of the Hobbit.  No thought given to terrorists, fundamentalists, Texans, the stock market, Sarah Palin, or relational intrigue of any kind.  Concentrate only on the formation of a ham sandwich, a few chips, an apple for good measure, and a draft light when time-outs aver the opportunity.

So why is Frodo blue?

If the sun were shining, then Frodo would miss all the relaxation, and would wreak havoc on his lumbar region by removing every single leaf from the grounds of the Shire.  He would toss the tennis ball for hours on end to the one who snoozes upon his socks this very moment.  He would wash $6 down a drainpipe.  He would scout for "Saxby" signs that could be turned away from the view of those who might be encouraged to vote for one who has done nothing save an improvement to his golf score in the past six years.  At the end of the day he would watch videotape of the games he had missed, eat a ham sandwich, and drink that beer.

It is the loss of choice that befuddles Frodo.  Instead of taking full advantage, he begins to contemplate the tasks undone.  The kerosene heater that makes the Florida room toasty all winter needs cleaning, if not now, then a week or so after Sam begins haranguing him for not previously having done so.  On-line correspondence to a plethora of long ago visited friends in faraway locations has reached epidemic proportions.  Business research on prospective clients resting too long undone provides only fodder to potential competitors.  There is, also, the disaster known as a garage which houses so many unused items that the Salvation Army would make multiple house calls, if so summoned.

Decision-making should be avoided on certain days, that is for sure.  On this day, Frodo will be wisest if he worries only about the point spread in Athens, then to a turning of his attention to Phil Fulmer's final game in Knoxville.  That should bring him to the point of sandwich construction.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:56 AM EST
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Thursday, November 27, 2008
People Everywhere Just Want To Be Free
Mood:  blue
Topic: "Mumbai, My Lord" (4)

Fiona and Mick, the Wonder Dog, raced across the empty parking lot of the School of the Shire, while Frodo was distracted by the now-familiar call on the morning breeze.  Against an all-blue sky on Thanksgiving Day, the Sandhill Cranes were now less than one state away from their winter home in the Okeefenokee.  Frodo's canine friends were not about to be distracted from a mid-week romp, so Frodo was unable to tarry in appreciation.  Upon his return he noted the now-familiar pink ribbons marking property lines, this time upon that of his neighbors, parent to Jessica and "Chipper."

Brian and Carolyn are outstanding parents, and their children are favorites of the Hobbit.  This past Halloween they were Princess Leia and Lord Vader, in costumes that exhibited many hours of motherly love, and a deep appreciation for the importance of a truly realistic light saber.  Brian is a musician, and he has had multiple heart surgeries.  He is no longer "insurable" in Middle Earth, and the inconsistency of income makes life very difficult for such good people.  They have not lived beyond their means, and they did not buy a house that was beyond their means.  Frodo fears however, that the pink ribbons do not mean a simple re-financing. 

The reports from the city formerly known as Bombay cause Frodo to imagine what it must have been like in their city on the day that the nihilists destroyed so many lives in 2001.  Surely, he thought, they cried too, and wished that they could do something to help end the needless suffering of just plain people, who didn't do anything to hurt anybody.  As this story continues, even now, to unfold, it appears that those without conscience were Pakistanis, and therefore, probably Islamic.

Frodo must note that the weapons, and the expenses for this conflagration probably came from some of the $10B paid to Musharraf by those who sought his assistance against Islamic terrorists.  The money these monsters used was probably American dollars.  The truth hurts, doesn't it, dear reader?

The other truth is equally painful.  The continuing fundamentalist violence, all around our small, blue planet, does not come from dissimilar circumstances.  It is not the Shinto, or the Buddhist, the Hindu, or even the Zoroastrian; rather, the violence stems from the monotheists, those who believe in one God.  Dear reader, it is Islamic, it is Jewish, and it is Christian.  It seems to Frodo that the three largest religious groups in all the world represent the impetus to violence.  Perhaps it is merely an unwillingness to retreat from the realization that the one God is "our" god, and not that of the other guy.  On the other hand, the polytheists believe in flexibility, and perhaps the simplicity of the fact that if one God doesn't deliver, we simply change channels.

At some point in time, it is the essence of humanity to rale against the injustices of life.  Watching good, hardworking people lose a house is not fair.  Watching subhuman cretins assault all of civilized society is beyond temperance.  Ah, dear reader, the bridges before us are filled with peril, and those which we now cross are threatening, to be sure.  Important it is that we don't waste time or effort commiserating about that which lies behind us.  Still, had he the chance, Frodo would truly enjoy kicking the ass of either Dick Cheney or anyone who would entice the "Deccan Mujahadien."  There is not a dime's worth of difference between them.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 5:47 PM EST
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