Topic: "Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Hear ye, Hear ye, all rise for his Honor Justice Frodo for the Federal District Court of Virginia. God Save this Court and the United States of America."
Justice Frodo used the small stool next to the chair which contained three telephone books. From this regal position he could look down into the eyes of the accused.
"Moose Howie," Frodo began, "you have been found guilty of certain crimes against humanity. It has been deemed by the members of the jury that for these crimes you shall be confined for the remainder of your life without the possibility of parole. You shall be confined in an appropriate Federal facility where you will remain in solitude for 23 hours of each day."
The pseudo-human, Moose Howie, glared back at Frodo without saying a word.
Frodo continued, "Further, this Court will instruct your Jailers to restrict you access to any media of entertainment or information. You will not be allowed visiting privileges except those guaranteed to regulatory agencies who safeguard the treatment of prisoners in civilized societies."
Moose Howie raised his eyes to Frodo and his lips began to part.
"Moose Howie, think carefully about what you are about to say, because these will be the last words you will ever utter that will be heard beyond the confines of the cell in which you will reside from this moment on. You will be outside your cell only to bathe."
The quasi-hominid was suddenly struck by the enormity of the moment, and as he paused, searching for appropriate words, Frodo smiled from ear-to-ear and ended with the following, "Moose Howie, it is the sincere wish of this Court that the bars of soap provided to you when you shower will squirt from your hands each and every day. It is hoped that those with whom you bathe will take full advantage of the opportunity provided to them daily at said moment. That Sir, should give you something to think about the other twenty-three hours of every single day."
Capital punishment be damned.
Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:16 PM EDT
Updated: Thursday, May 4, 2006 10:19 PM EDT