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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
"On Her Code?" (4)
"On Vacation, I'm Sure"
"One Act Play"
"One Down, More Comin'"
"One For the Good Guys"
"One More Round" (4)
"One Orbit of the Sun"(2)
"Only 434 More to Go" (2)
"Opportunity Sox" (3)
"Or the Yellow Peril?"(6)
"Osama Can You See?" (2)
"Our God Is Better" (3)
"Our Town" (5)
"Our Town" (8)
"Out Damned Spot (2)"
"Out of Kilter" (5)
"Out of the Ashes" (4)
"Overdue Books" (3)
"Pace Car" (3)
"Painted Toenails?"(4)
"Panic Attack"(10)
"Pants on Fire"
"Parade of Horribles"(4)
"Part Two" (5)
"Pass the Malais" (4)
"Passion Flowers" (5)
"Past is Prologue" (3)
"Pat bin Laden"
"Patsy for America"
"Peaceful Easy Feelin"(3)
"Peacetakescourage" (3)
"Permanent Vacation" (5)
"Persons of the Year"
"Philadelphia Bunnyface?"
"Philosopher Kings" (4)
"Pickled Cabbage?"
"Picture of Frodo"(5)
"Pilot Wales" (2)
"Pirate Booty"
"Pit Bull Revenge"(4)
"Pius Baloney I" (7)
"Place of Good Abode" (3)
"Plaque 42W, Line 12"
"Play It Again, Sam"
"Play Melancholy Baby"
"Play the Frodo Game"(6)
"Playin' Possum" (3)
"Poland Parole Patrol"(5)
"Polish or Polish?"
"Poll Results Just In"
"Poly Sci 101"(9)
"Poor People"
"Pope for a Day" (10)
"Pope-a-Dope" (5)
"Popeil Veg-o-matic"
"Potty Training" (3)
"Power Surge"(9)
"Pray for, Gas?" (4)
"Pray With Me Henry" (2)
"Pre-emptive Passages"(2)
"Preemptive Invasion"
"Presidential Erection"
"Problem, Officer?" (3)
"Problem, Officer?" (5)
"Problems?" (4)
"Promises Made" (3)
"Promises To Keep" (5)
"Promises to Keep"(9)
"Proud I Am"
"Proud Walter" (5)
"Proxy Server Error" (4)
"Prudent" (10)
"Psychiatrist,5 cents"(6)
"Pugnacious Maverick"
"Pulitzer Means Squat"(8)
"Punxatawney Bush"
"Puppy Angel" (2)
"Purple Pill Please" (2)
"Putin Tang" (3)
"Qaddafi Wins, For Now"(7)
"Qualified? Yeah Right!"
"Quayle Hunting"
"Queen of Memphis"
"Queen of the Damned"
"Quittin' Time" (8)
"Quoth the Raven"(7)
"QVC and Dorothy"
"Qwest For Truth (2)"
"Radio and TV"(7)
"Rain, Rain, Go Away?"(4)
"Rainy Day in Georgia(2)"
"Raptor Rapture" (7)
"Read All About It" (5)
"Real Men Don't Shop"(4)
"Rechargin' da Shire"(11)
"Recycled Air (Gasp)" (2)
"Red Sky at Morning" (3)
"Red Sky at Morning"(5)
"Reduced Flow Flush"(5)
"Reimers' Rhymers"(5)
"Remember These?"
"Remembering Jessica" (2)
"Remote Outpost" (7)
"Render Unto Wright" (4)
"Reverend LeRoy" (3)
"Rice on Hot Tin Roof(2)"
"Rick Santa Anna"(5)
"Right Not Privilege" (4)
"Road to Damascus"
"Road Trip" (5)
"Roads Scholar" (8)
"Rocket Man"
"Rocket Man" (5)
"Rockets Red Glare" (5)
"Rocks Rox"(8)
"Roger the Dodger"(4)
"Roger Williams Sucks"(2)
"Rooty-Toot" (6)
"Rose Garden Promises"(4)
"Royal Portrait" (2)
"Rubber Ducky" (2)
"Rubio's Cube"(6)
"Rules" (6)
"Rules" (7)
"Rumblin' Bumblin'" (3)
"Rumsfeldstiltskin" (2)
"Run Eddie, Run" (5)
"Run Far, Run Fast"(7)
"Run Forrest, Run"
"Run, old hare!"
"Runaround Tsu"
"Runs in the Family" (3)
"Rwanda Go Home?"(6)
"S'long Sarong (2)"
"Sabato Knows" (2)
"Sam Shopping" (2)
"San Juan de Capistrano"
"Sandy Hook" (8)
"Santos v. Vinnick"
"Satire-Apology to Mick"
"Sauron Psalms" (2)
"Sauron's Scythe" (4)
"Savin' Gas" (4)
"SAWB" (3)
"Say Cheese"(7)
"Say It Ain't So,Jo"(4)
"Say It Ain't So,Joe" (2)
"School Holiday" (4)
"Science Marches On"
"Scooter" (2)
"Scott Free" (4)
"Sears and Loveaduck" (5)
"Second Line (2)"
"Second of Two" (4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(9)
"Seen Any Blue Swans?"(3)
"Selective Service"(8)
"September Twelfth"(5)
"Serendipity Strikes" (3)
"Serge is Working?" (3)
"Serious,For A Change"(6)
"Seven Samurai" (5)
"Sex or Gender?"
"Sexiest Man Alive"(5)
"Shaken, not stirred"(10)
"She is No Ma Kettle"
"Sheep and Museums"
"Sheep in Mindanao?"
"Shenandoah Rangers"(7)
"Shenandoah" (6)
"Shire Sunset"
"Shock and Awe" (4)
"Shoot 'em, Vern"
"Side by Side" (7)
"Sidin' With Anemone"(4)
"Silence of the Lambs"(2)
"Silent, but deadly"(6)
"Sing It Again" (4)
"Sink or Swim"
"Sir A Gut" (3)
"Six Days on the Road"
"Skull and Bones"(4)
"Skunk Cabbage" (3)
"Sleepy Time (2)"
"Slippin' and a Slidin'"
"Sludge Stimulus" (5)
"Small Businesses-Ha!"(6)
"Small Gray Planet"(2)
"Small Victories"
"Smellin' Roses"
"Smirk Jerk" (2)
"Smokin' Pesticide Dope"
"Smoochy Time" (4)
"Snazis" (2)
"Snow Tan"(11)
"Snowiches" (6)
"So Who's Sluggo?" (2)
"Social Security Reform"
"Social Security" (7)
"Socrates and Friends"(5)
"Soldier of the King"
"Soldier of the Storm(2)"
"Solitary Isolation" (3)
"Solving a Problem"(9)
"Somethin' Borrowed"(5)
"Something in Commons"(5)
"Sometimes Life Sucks"(4)
"Sorcerer's Apprentice"
"Soul Train" (5)
"Souter Rules, Dude"
"Southern Ladies" (5)
"Sow's Ear from Silk"(5)
"Space Poop" (3)
"Speechifyin'" (4)
"Speedy Gonzales" (3)
"Spelling, -23" (6)
"Sperm Count" (3)
"Spiro T. Palin" (4)
"Spoonerized" (6)
"Spring Equal Knox" (3)
"St. George" (4)
"Stan & Ollie"(7)
"State Dinner" (3)
"States' Rahts" (3)
"Sticker Shock"
"Stolen Bases" (3)
"Stragedy" (2)
"Stragedy" (8)
"Strangerthan fiction"(6)
"Strip Searched" (9)
"Stupidly" (5)
"Stupor Bowl Sunday"(2)
"Subsidizing Seeds"(6)
"Sunday, Sunday"(9)
"Sunni Daze" (4)
"Supportin' da Troops"(2)
"Supportin' da Troops"(3)
"Survey Says" (6)
"Sweet Georgia Brown"
"Swiss Miss" (5)
"Take a letter, dearie"
"Take It Off Baby" (5)
"Takes a Worried Man"(4)
"Talibanme Banana"(8)
"Talkin' Turkey" (3)
"Tax Driver" (9)
"Taxpayer Assistance (2)"
"Tea Olive" (7)
"Tear Down That Wall"(4)
"Teflon Causes Cancer"
"Ten Cent Coke" (3)
"Tennessee Stinks" (6)
"Term Paper" (5)
"Terminal? Great!"
"Terre Bonne" (6)
"Terrible Swift Sword"(6)
"Terrible Two's" (2)
"Tess of D'Uberville"(8)
"Tess of the Dorghis" (8)
"Texas Exes" (8)
"Thank the Academy"(4)
"Thank You Rand Paul"
"Thank You, Molly" (2)
"Thanks, Dad" (3)
"Thar She Blows"
"That Looks Like Me"(5)
"That's the way it is"(5)
"Thawt Yuze a Toad"(7)
"The 60 Year Struggle"(5)
"The Atlanta Eye" (6)
"The Blue Dog"(11)
"The Boston Massacre"(9)
"The Boys of '63" (8)
"The Brotherhood Begins"
"The Eyes of Texas"
"The Forum" (2)
"The Future is Now (2)"
"The Garden of Good"
"The Good Book" (4)
"The Good Doctor"(6)
"The Great Quixote" (9)
"The Grumpy Dwarf"(9)
"The Important Stuff"
"The Italian Stallion"
"The Litany" (6)
"The Longest Day" (5)
"The Non-Issue" (3)
"The Perfect Storm" (2)
"The Pre-Fellowship"(4)
"The Prophecy"
"The Real Rhett" (4)
"The Second Amendment"
"The Silver Sow Award"(3)
"The Splurge" (4)
"The Turtle" (3)
"The Union Label"(6)
"There is a Virginia" (2)
"They're He-ear" (4)
"Thin Ice, Frodo" (4)
"Third Strike Nuance (2)"
"This Day in History"(3)
"This, Too, Shall Pass"
"Three A.M." (4)
"Three Siblings" (4)
"Three Votes Short" (3)
"Thriller" (9)
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"Tie a Yellow Ribbon" (3)
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"Time to Cut Brush" (3)
"Time With Friends" (3)
"Times A' Wastin'" (3)
"Title IX Disaster" (5)
"To Arms, To Arms"
"To the Hoop (2)"
"Together Again" (3)
"Tokyo Rush" (5)
"Tom Bombadil isDying"(7)
"Tom Bombadil Returns"(9)
"Tom" (4)
"Top Two Percent" (7)
"Tora Bora Lora. . ." (2)
"Torah, Torah..."(6)
"Toro, Andalay,Toro (2)"
"Touchdown Swabbie" (3)
"Tovarich" (4)
"Tra La,Spring,Tra La"(6)
"Train Wreck"(8)
"Transparency" (4)
"Travel Sucks" (4)
"Tree Fishin' (2)"
"Trees v. Forest"(9)
"Trekking Mount Doom" (2)
"Tripod Hackers?"(9)
"Trouble Sleepin'" (3)
"Truckin' for Isaiah" (3)
"Truly,Totally, Nuts"(3)
"Tuesdays with Nancy"(4)
"Tullahoma Tequila (2)"
"Tumbler" (3)
"Turkey Day Walkabout"(2)
"TW3" (3)
"Tweety Pie" (2)
"Twenty to Life" (5)
"Twismas Tunes" (5)
"Twisted Sister" (4)
"Two Americas" (4)
"Two Americas" (9)
"Two Steps Back" (4)
"Two Thousand, Ate" (4)
"Unademdaze" (4)
"Unborn in the USA" (6)
"Unbroken Circle" (7)
"Unconditional Surrender"
"Unconventional, you say?"(7)
"Underdog Shmunderdog"(4)
"Unmarked Grave" (6)
"Untimely Events"
"UR Number Is Up" (7)
"Vacation Brouhaha" (3)
"Vacation Comin'" (2)
"Vandals at the Gates"(2)
"Vat of Chocolate"(6)
"Vero Possumus" (4)
"Veto Shmetoe (2)"
"Vick Drops, Cough!" (3)
"Video Thriller"(5)
"Vinson Can Gogh"(6)
"Virgin Birth" (2)
"Virginia is 4 Lovers"(4)
"Virginia Lovers" (4)
"Vom Winde Verweht" (2)
"Vote for Steve" (2)
"Vote Frodo (Not)"(7)
"W is for Wuss""
"Wait 'til Next Year" (2)
"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
"Walkin' in the Woods"(5)
"Walkin' the Dogs"(8)
"Walkin' the Walk"
"Wall of Libertad"
"War on Middle Class"(2)
"War on Tara"
"Warm Bucket of Spit"(4)
"Was Miers His Attorney?"
"Watch Mr. Wizard" (3)
"Water Into Wine" (11)
"Water into Wine?"
"Watts da plan, Man?"(5)
"Wayne Johnson"(4)
"We Make a Better Day"(5)
"We Sank a Truck"
"We Will Rock You"
"Weather Channel Follies"
"Weddin' Down South" (3)
"Wedding Bell Blues"
"Weeds Way Is Up?"(5)
"Weepy Seepy Peepee"(3)
"Welcome Home, Soldier"
"Well, Duh!"
"Well, Poop"(8)
"West Wing Redux" (2)
"What Goes Around" (6)
"What if JR Shot Back"(9)
"What is a Shimkus?" (2)
"What Mark Felt"
"What Schedule?" (2)
"What Time Is It (2)"
"What We Have Here (2)"
"What Would Mitt Do?"(3)
"What's A Cubit?"
"What's a Sgarbi?" (5)
"What, Me Worry?"
"What, Me Worry?" (3)
"Where Sun Doan Shine"(8)
"Where's Frodo?" (5)
"Where's my puppy?"(4)
"Where's the Beef?"
"Where's the Fire?"(5)
"Whither Frodo?"
"Whitman's Sampler"(6)
"Who Dat Say Who Dat?"
"Who dat?" (2)
"Who did it?" (2)
"Who Torted?"
"Who Was That Guy?" (5)
"Who's In Line?"(6)
"Who's We, White Boy?"(3)
"Why are you here"?(3)
"Why are you here?" (3)
"Why Black Folks Cheered"
"Wiccan I do for you?"(2)
"Wicked Pickett"
"Wide Stance" (4)
"Will better be?"(7)
"Willard" (7)
"Willie B had heart" (5)
"Winchester Women (2)"
"Wink at the Moon"
"Winter Solstice"
"Wishin' and Hopin'"
"Wither Channels" (5)
"Wither Weather"(9)
"Wither Weather?"(4)
"WMD in the Shire"(6)
"Words To Live By"(7)
"Workin' on Night Moves"
"Worst Candidate Ever"(8)
"Worth Waiting For?"(5)
"Write a Letter" (7)
"Writer's Block" (2)
"Wrong Again, Frodo"(3)
"Wyomin' Gloamin'" (2)
"Xmas in Shreveport"(6)
"Yahoo" (4)
"Yankee Humor" (5)
"Yankee Ingenuity"
"Yella Rose a Taxes"(4)
"Yellow Peril" (3)
"Yes, No, Who Knows?" (2)
"You Betcha" (6)
"You Put Your Eye Out"(2)
"You Snake in the Grass"
"You Take the High Road"
"Zimmerman Noted"(6)
"Zinni in Bloom (2)"
"Zounds, Sounds!" (5)
"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Saturday, September 30, 2006
No Matter Who You Are, No Matter What You've Done
Mood:  irritated
Topic: "What is a Shimkus?" (2)

Former Representative Mark Foley (R-FL) is a pedophile.  In fact, he is a repeat pedophile.   Frodo explains that Foley's repeat status as a pedophile is documented by the investigation of Representative John Shimkus (R-IL) completed almost a full year ago.

It seems that Representative Shimkus was responsible for the internal investigation of allegations of abuse of the "page system" in the House of Representatives.  Pages are, of course, young people who serve as "runners" or "gofers" to Members of the House of Representatives.  Shimkus had received a referral regarding the alleged behavior of Representative Foley, and  had even confronted the sleazebag about many of the charges now in the public purview.  According to Representative Shimkus, Representative Foley promised him that he would terminate the relationship of concern, and would not repeat his errors of judgment.  Representative Shimkus accepted that and closed the investigation without further action.

Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert was so concerned about this week's resignation of Representative Foley, once he was confronted with documentary evidence of his pedophilic behavior, that he, Hastert, ordered an investigation of the entire House "page system."  Representative Shimkus was selected to head up the investigation.

Despite his life-long interest in politics, Frodo admits that, until today, he had never heard of Representative Shimkus.  Frodo is of a mind that the responsibilities of Representative Shimkus are so noteworthy that perhaps the term "Shimkus" should be adopted as a new word in the English Language.  "Shimkus" could be listed in the next edition of Funk & Wagnall's thusly:  "Shimkus (noun), a partisan ideolgue incapable of either sound judgment or sane conduct; not to be confused with but not dissimilar to the state of being known as incompetency.  Synonyms include Bushite, see also Bush, Administration of George W. "



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:25 PM EDT
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Thursday, September 28, 2006
Talk About The Boy From New York City
Mood:  chillin'
Topic: "Pray With Me Henry" (2)
At first Frodo thought that it was merely a rush of cool air twisting down from the Michigan Peninsula that brought a chill all the way from his socks to his collar. He trembled and felt all goose-bumpey until he realized that it wasn't cold air he felt, it was a cold, cold heart. He hadn't seen the dour countenance of Henry Kissinger for a long, long time. Not long enough, apparently.

The airwaves are alive with the teasing excerpts from Bob Woodward's newest book. Denials from the Pentagon and the White House are of equal and dubious credibility. Frodo was surprised only by the allegation that Kissinger has been advising the White House on matters relative to the Pre-Emptive War. Frodo had supposed that after Kissinger revealed personal conversations during his last night in the Nixon White House, and the invitation to prayer with the Fallen President, that no Republican would ever bring him into their confidence again.

Kissinger, if Frodo remembers correctly, took almost a year-and-a-half to get agreement on the size and shape of the table to be used in negotiations with the Vietnamese. When he finally did get everyone around the table, he negotiated terms roughly identical to those proposed by the Geneva Convention of 1954, which were rejected at that point by the Eisenhower Administration. 60,000 American lives later, Henry had concluded that maybe those terms weren't so bad, after all. His presence as an advisor to the current White House occupants is a harbinger of pending submission disguised in the miasma of political spin on alleged victory.

Every passing day brings the great foreign policy blunders of American intervention in the post-Colonial periods closer together. America followed the French into Indo-China, and the British into the Middle East. In both cases, the Americans have been kicked in the arse, and young bodies have expanded the permanent residency of Arlington National Cemetery. Kissinger has been there, advising, for both.

He has almost as much credibility as Dick Cheney. He's been right just about as often. He must be fondling the Ring again.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:03 PM EDT
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Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Goodnight Sweetheart, Well It's Time to Go
Mood:  lucky
Topic: "The Forum" (2)

Frodo had never felt quite so alone as he did in the days before the Election of 2004.  Despite his protestations to the contrary, all he heard was the ovine acceptance of that which he felt to be untrue.  There were no Weapons of Mass Destruction.  It was UnAmerican to engage in a War without first exhausting every imaginable alternative.  It was UnConstitutional to detain any prisoner without charging him with an offense.  It was UnConscionable to deem federally-funded genetic research unacceptable because it potentially conflicted with the interpretation of religious opinion.  Only the Senior Senator from the State of West Virginia, of all places, rose to decry the abrogation of rights.

Frodo stumbled upon "The Forum" on the miracle of the Internet.  A left-of-center group had included a section in its Web offering which allowed individuals to post their comments, and to respond to others.  The theory of "" was that the input would help this band of Loyal Oppositionists to determine the course of their action.  Frodo began to post, and he began to read the impassioned words of Citizens of Middle Earth, like Frodo himself.

Ted, a Greek immigrant in California; Leslie, in publishing in NYC; BJ, a retired newspaperperson in South Carolina; Vicki, an unemployed person whose job was outsourced from Idaho; Tom, a retired TWA pilot in Ohio; Richard, an old student in Missouri; Athena, an artist in California; Carolyn, a housewife in Illinois; and many others who identified themselves as poets, teachers, soldiers, retired, or just plain angry, began to respond to the entreaties of Frodo.  We learned that we were not alone, and we found comfort in speaking our minds.

Soon "the Freepers" began their assault.  Technically savvy emigres from a site called "The Free Republic" found the forum, and began to post in a vituperative manner, and obscenity-laced language became commonplace.   Soon there were obscene pictures, serving no purpose, but transmitted blindly so as to obliterate hundreds of pages of available space.  The participants in the forum tried to communicate through the Web back to the initiators of the site to warn them of what was happening.  Eventually, the obscenity was erased, and an improved system for screening postings was in place.

Once the Election was over, and Frodo failed to prevent Sauron from possessing the Ring, many of the regulars began to drift away, and to post much less frequently.  One of the regulars suggested to Frodo that he begin to Blog because she so enjoyed his style and his passion.  Thus began what you read on these pages.  Eventually Frodo became another infrequent visitor, as he grew less interested in issues being raised as if no one had ever brought them into consideration before. 

Recently Frodo returned to the forum, but it was gone.  As he scrolled through the new Website, he found a news release dated in early September.  The creators of had found a series of anti-Semitic postings which were evidently as horrible as they were offensive to civilized men and women.  Frodo understood why the forum was no longer there, and he accepts its' demise as a necessary part of the world in which he lives.

With gratitude, Frodo looks back at the avenue opened to him which assured him that there is a Brotherhood of the Ring, and that it exists in the hearts and minds of Hobbits everywhere.   The Forum introduced Frodo to the words and the soul of so many that he may never meet in person.  It was a great gift.  Frodo continues, but no longer alone. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:52 PM EDT
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Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Laugh, Laugh, I Thought I'd Die, It Seemed So Funny to Me
Mood:  rushed
Topic: "Sabato Knows" (2)

There are two very distinguised academic political analysts in the State of Virginia, and the best known, Dr. Larry Sabato (University of Virginia), has documented that United States Senator George Allen has frequently used the racial epither "Nigger" in conversation.  Frodo has never been a fan of George Allen.  However, Frodo is naturally concerned when references to past behavior are brought forth as evidentiary material to address the suitability of an adult in a public role.  Frodo would like it to be universally recognized that not all great men (or women) have always behaved with maturity and respect for others.  Context is the issue in matters of this nature.

George Allen has amended his statements, and has done everything possible to minimize the significance of word and deed.  It does not wash, according to Frodo.  Who cares if his Mother can trace her lineage into Judaism?  Who cares if he collected Western items and displayed them in his office?  Who cares if he makes up words to single out individuals in a crowd?  The explanations are just as bizarre and unwieldy as the attempts to divert blame to a sibling by a small child.  George Allen is no small child.

On a day when the Secretary of State states facts in direct contrast to the words of the "9/11 Commission," while defending the non-performance of the Bush Administration in the months leading up to the attacks, Frodo wonders exactly why the Administration tried so hard to prevent the "9/11 Commission" from ever coming into existence in the first place?    Now the Administration, in desperatrion, is de-classifying reports from last April in a bizarre attempt to justify the Pre-emptive War.  Allen and Bush, children of privilege, always seem to portray themselves as "regular guys;" guys you can trust when the chips are down.  The facts, it seems, are blurring the image desired.

It deserves note that George Allen's voting record in the United States Senate has been measured as supporting President Bush 96% of the time.  That is even higher than Saxby "Rubber Stamp" Chambliss of Georgia, who casts votes in favor of and against the same positions.  Should you question that assertion, dear reader, Frodo suggests you check Chambliss' voting record in the House on immigration.

Tomorrow night, Katharine Harris, the Republican Candidate for the United States Senate from Florida will appear on "Hardball" with Chris Matthews.  Frodo can't wait.  If she appears on stage to the accompaniment of the score from "Gypsy," it will be a perfect reflection of the Republican Circus Maximus in all three rings, and only six weeks until the Mid-term Elections.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:39 PM EDT
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Monday, September 25, 2006
Our Day Will Come And We'll Have Everything
Mood:  party time!
Topic: "Faux les Bas" (2)
The Superdome reopens tonight; reportedly some tickets have sold for more than $1000. The City of Orleans will never pass up an opportunity to celebrate, and this football game between the Atlanta Falcons and the New Orleans Saints, the first game played in the SuperDome since Katrina, will be treated as one more reason to party. Frodo will celebrate the spirit, but lament the reality that tightens its' grip on the psyche of our native land.

Already the proud citizens of Houston blame their rising crime rate on the emigrants from Louisiana. Already fiscal conservatives compute that the rebuilding cost will extend into the tens of thousands for every resident of Orleans Parish. Already the legal system finds reason to allege predmeditated murder against medical practitioners because people died under their care, far more serious than simple euthanasia. Already the national media look at the City of Orleans from Times Square, and not from the Ninth Ward.

Tonight, everyone will celebrate the "Re-birth," and then they will turn out the lights and they will go home. There will be another game, somewhere else, next Monday night. Frodo will stand in the darkness and listen to the sounds of people crying. Some are hungry. Some are without a place to live. Some have no job. Some, sad to say, aren't really there, it is just the sound of the breeze that blows off the river today, as it did when slaves were sold on its shore. Too many will turn off their TV's this evening, and think that things are all back to normal.

George W. Bush will sleep through it all, because it is past his bedtime. Frodo supposes that what we get, is what we asked for.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:18 PM EDT
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Sunday, September 24, 2006
Turn On The TV, Push Out The Lights, Roy Rogers Is Riding Tonight
Mood:  on fire
Topic: "Smirk Jerk" (2)
Chris Wallace and George W. Bush are the primary members of a group that Frodo calls "The Smirks." Unlike either the little blue cartoon characters or the smallish wide receivers of the 1980's vintage Washington Redskins, both known as "Smurfs," the "Smirks" are condescending and arrogant. This morning, Bill Clinton took one of them to the woodshed.

Clinton stated, in no uncertain terms, that his efforts to capture, kill, or otherwise detain Osama bin Laden were far superior to the non-action of the neo-cons whom Mr. Wallace has consistently failed to query regarding their failures in this regard. Without apology, Clinton made it clear that, in his opinion, at least he tried. He added that were he still President, there would be more than 20,000 troops in Afghanistan, as there are now, in pursuit of bin Laden.

There will be some piling on by those who will never accept the former President as anything other than literal moral decay. Frodo however, is in awe of the political wisdom put forth by the former President, and applauds him for opening the dialogue for Democrats to a whole new set of decibels. It is time to speak up, loudly, and to show everyone that the "Smirks" are really the "Jerks." Actually, it is an excellent opportunity to offset the attempt to paint Democrats as "soft" on terrorism. The aggression shown by Mr. Clinton in the interview backed Wallace into a corner, from which he could only escape by recognizing the timeliness of the NIE report which purports that "terrorism" has increased since 9/11, because of the Pre-emptive War. Clinton could then add that the Democrats had several Iraq War Veterans, a former Reagan Administration Navy Secretary, and a former member of the Joint Chiefs of Staff as candidates in the upcoming elections.

Wallace has announced that next week's guest for his hard-hitting interview will be Labor Secretary Chao. Laughter was heard in the background.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:35 PM EDT
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Thursday, September 21, 2006
Little GTO, You're Really Lookin' Fine
Mood:  bright
Topic: "Thy Name be Peace" (2)

Selam was only three years old when she slipped from her mother's arms, and was carried away by the raging torrent of what was probably a flash flood.  The despair of her clan was heightened by the fact that her little body was never found, that is not for another 3,299,994 years.

In the Great Rift Valley of Ethiopia, an almost complete skeleton of the species Australopithecus afarensis was added to the collection that stars Lucy, discovered in the same area in 1974 by Richard Johansen.  Scientists believe that Selam predates Lucy by approximately 100,000 years, which makes the find even more scientifically important, but regrettably not a reunion of mother and child (Frodo will always be the romantic, despite the odds).

The scientific debate which emanates from finds such as these is as intense as any current political struggle anywhere in the world.  Some believe that Selam's comparatively long arms prove that she could not only walk upright, but that she had the capacity to swing through the trees, thereby heightening the probability that evolutionary processes can be confirmed by the fossil record.  Others believe that she was either pure hominid, or pure ape.  Two of the most important pieces of information will come from the reconstruction of the foot, and from the confirmed presence of a hyoid bone.  The first may exhibit an opposable toe (akin to the thumb on your hand, dear reader), which would exist for climbing purposes.  The second, which is a small connector of the tongue, is only the second example ever found in the fossil history of any potential human ancestor.  It will indicate the proximity of the voice of Selam, be she more human than chimpanzee, or vice versa.

Frodo has a life's dream, and that dream is to someday walk in the Great Rift Valley.  His scientific sense of adventure, his searching for the links to an ancient past are all factors in that great dream.  The real reason is the romantic.  Wouldn't it be something to find Selam's Mother, and to quiet the wailful winds that have haunted all of human history?  To answer one of life's tragic mysteries.

Talk about a neat story line for "Cold Case Files."


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:08 PM EDT
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Wednesday, September 20, 2006
You're Nobody Till Somebody Loves You
Mood:  spacey
Topic: "Remembering Jessica" (2)

Frodo's favorite television show of all time was "Soap."  Invariably there would be at least one statement in every show which would add to the quality of life.  It would either be unbelievably funny, or inexorably useful to Frodo's personal vocabulary.  To this day, "El Puerquo" is Frodo's reference to overweight and pompous politicians, e.g. Dick Cheney.  No doubt however, Frodo and Sam still laugh over Jessica's response to a discussion of the sexual preference of the Greek philosopher Plato.  "Mickey's Mouses' dog is gay?," she queried.  Her genuine surprise in the question was Emmy Award performance level.

Frodo was reminded of the discussion when it was announced recently that the scientific community had voted to strip Pluto of its' planethood.  The discussion was admittedly confusing, in fact it was almost as nebulous as the far reaches of our solar system itself.  It seems that there are a great number of these planetoids or whatever, which seem to be hanging around out there, with no discernible semblance to the scientifically meaurable orbiters of the Sun.  No one seemed too terribly concerned that this determination truly has potentially important consequences for the future of our small blue planet.

When Man landed on the Moon, Armstrong & Company carried a plaque, signed by the then President of the US of A, Richard M. Nixon, which was left on the Moon to commemorate that great event.  It also bore a solar map indicating that the Earth was the third of NINE planets surrounding the Sun.  In addition, the great exploring probe known as Voyager has now departed into the unknown of the greater Milky Way, bearing a recording which also indicates the source of the probe as the third of the NINE planets orbiting the Sun.  Has anyone considered that this may be the reason why there has been no verifiable contact between the multitude of inhabited planets and our Earth?  We gave them bad directions.

Imagine, dear reader, that somewhere out there, just beyond the view of the Hubble Space Telescope, an alien family sits and tries to figure out why they got lost while out for an afternoon spin.  It is probable that the female is blaming the male for failing to stop and ask directions.  For Frodo, it is comforting to know that in at least one instance, the fault did lie with the map. 



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:38 PM EDT
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Tuesday, September 19, 2006
I Think I Could Stay With You For a While, Maybe Longer
Mood:  d'oh
Topic: "Crawford Convention" (2)
There was an actor, name unknown to Frodo, who used to always play a cruel Japanese Officer in the black-and-white movies that starred John Wayne. In the movie, "Back to Bataan," the Japanese Officer ordered that the School Teacher be hung from the flagpole. He also beat the young Filipino boy mercilessly in order to find out where the Americans were hiding. Always, in those days, Frodo heard that the Japanese were operating in defiance of the Geneva Convention, and that is what led to their eventual defeat. It is what separated "good" and "evil."

Two former Secretaries of State, George Schultz and Colin Powell, both of whom served under Republican Presidents, have publicly stated their severe reservations about the "guidelines" regarding the treatment of prisoners which the present Administration is seeking to enact. Nearly every student of the subject feels that it is the first attempt to "amend" the Geneva Convention since its' inception 54 years ago. The specificity of treatment to be included as "legitimate" has Frodo particularly wary of the intent.

Dear reader, do you know what "water boarding" is? As best surmised by Frodo, it is something that makes a subject feel as if he (or she) is about to drown. Before this debate, Frodo would have assumed it was one of those things teenagers throw along the shoreline and jump on as they are propelled through the surf. Regardless, the Administration has addressed this specific "act" as an example of legitimate means of coercion, as long as it does not bring about "organ failure."

"Why," asks Frodo, "is this specifically addressed, as compared to say, attaching electrical wires to the scrotum?"

Frodo has a theory. Frodo's theory is that the Administration is well aware that "water boarding," has taken place, and that they are desperate to avoid the slightest suggestion that one of them may have violated the Geneva Convention. That one, according to Frodo, is George W. Bush. There is also the concern that this conduct is about to become public knowledge all around the world. Frodo believes there are pictures.

Should the citizens of Middle Earth discover that the Japanese Officer from those old John Wayne movies is actually George W. Bush, it will be the loneliest days of the American Experience.

Even Tony Blair has scruples.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:05 PM EDT
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Wednesday, September 13, 2006
A Thousand Stars In The Sky Make Me Realize
Mood:  spacey
Topic: "Almost Heaven" (2)
Frodo felt like a fifth wheel a few days ago, so he started looking around for something to occupy the time available. For many years he had seen highway signs directing traffic to the "Bays Mountain Planetarium" just outside Kingsport, Tennessee. Having once visited the Hayden Planetarium in New York City, Frodo fondly recalled his fascination with the known heavens broadcast upon the cupola of a darkened theatre setting. So Frodo piled into his motorcar and set course for the unknown.

The setting for the Bays Mountain Planetarium and Nature Center is on the shores of a pristine mountain lake in the midst of a magnificent deciduous forest. The $3 admission charge to this Kingsport City Park, and a $1 admission to the planetarium itself was adequate to cover all of Frodo's time available for the afternoon. The wild turkeys running loose in the forest near the front gate told Frodo that he had made a wise investment.

Since Frodo had a couple of hours to stroll the wildlife exhibits, and not really anticipating very much, before the "show" in the Planetarium itself, he first took off for the "Raptors." The volunteer who was there had a black turkey buzzard on her arm, and she patiently explained to Frodo all that he had ever wanted to know about buzzards. She also explained that all of the creatures there had been rescued and were unable to return to the wild. As they spoke, Frodo heard a low, unearthly, moan, and with it came the absolute silence of the forest.

"Is that what I think it was?," asked Frodo. "No," she said, "that is one of the handlers of the wolves, but listen now to the response."

There were no sounds anywhere in the world but the slow responses of half-a-dozen wolves, each answering the call, singularly responding to indicate individual location for the purpose of the pack. Frodo said later that it "was a profound religious experience," to hear, perhaps as the earliest of hominids had, the plaintive cry of a competing predator in the open forest. Frodo had never heard these sounds in such a setting, and only his soul could capture the tingle of each hair rising attentively on the back of his neck. When the forest grew silent again, Frodo walked to the edge of the enclosure and searched for the lair of each of those who had serenaded him.

What incredible strength and wisdom Frodo's forebears more than 100 generations ago must have had, to reach out a hand to such a formidable competitor.

When the "show" began in the Planetarium, Frodo leaned back in the darkness, peering at the faux night sky, and imagined the cry of the wolf.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:50 PM EDT
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