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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
"On Her Code?" (4)
"On Vacation, I'm Sure"
"One Act Play"
"One Down, More Comin'"
"One For the Good Guys"
"One More Round" (4)
"One Orbit of the Sun"(2)
"Only 434 More to Go" (2)
"Opportunity Sox" (3)
"Or the Yellow Peril?"(6)
"Osama Can You See?" (2)
"Our God Is Better" (3)
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"Our Town" (8)
"Out Damned Spot (2)"
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"Out of the Ashes" (4)
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"Pace Car" (3)
"Painted Toenails?"(4)
"Panic Attack"(10)
"Pants on Fire"
"Parade of Horribles"(4)
"Part Two" (5)
"Pass the Malais" (4)
"Passion Flowers" (5)
"Past is Prologue" (3)
"Pat bin Laden"
"Patsy for America"
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"Permanent Vacation" (5)
"Persons of the Year"
"Philadelphia Bunnyface?"
"Philosopher Kings" (4)
"Pickled Cabbage?"
"Picture of Frodo"(5)
"Pilot Wales" (2)
"Pirate Booty"
"Pit Bull Revenge"(4)
"Pius Baloney I" (7)
"Place of Good Abode" (3)
"Plaque 42W, Line 12"
"Play It Again, Sam"
"Play Melancholy Baby"
"Play the Frodo Game"(6)
"Playin' Possum" (3)
"Poland Parole Patrol"(5)
"Polish or Polish?"
"Poll Results Just In"
"Poly Sci 101"(9)
"Poor People"
"Pope for a Day" (10)
"Pope-a-Dope" (5)
"Popeil Veg-o-matic"
"Potty Training" (3)
"Power Surge"(9)
"Pray for, Gas?" (4)
"Pray With Me Henry" (2)
"Pre-emptive Passages"(2)
"Preemptive Invasion"
"Presidential Erection"
"Problem, Officer?" (3)
"Problem, Officer?" (5)
"Problems?" (4)
"Promises Made" (3)
"Promises To Keep" (5)
"Promises to Keep"(9)
"Proud I Am"
"Proud Walter" (5)
"Proxy Server Error" (4)
"Prudent" (10)
"Psychiatrist,5 cents"(6)
"Pugnacious Maverick"
"Pulitzer Means Squat"(8)
"Punxatawney Bush"
"Puppy Angel" (2)
"Purple Pill Please" (2)
"Putin Tang" (3)
"Qaddafi Wins, For Now"(7)
"Qualified? Yeah Right!"
"Quayle Hunting"
"Queen of Memphis"
"Queen of the Damned"
"Quittin' Time" (8)
"Quoth the Raven"(7)
"QVC and Dorothy"
"Qwest For Truth (2)"
"Radio and TV"(7)
"Rain, Rain, Go Away?"(4)
"Rainy Day in Georgia(2)"
"Raptor Rapture" (7)
"Read All About It" (5)
"Real Men Don't Shop"(4)
"Rechargin' da Shire"(11)
"Recycled Air (Gasp)" (2)
"Red Sky at Morning" (3)
"Red Sky at Morning"(5)
"Reduced Flow Flush"(5)
"Reimers' Rhymers"(5)
"Remember These?"
"Remembering Jessica" (2)
"Remote Outpost" (7)
"Render Unto Wright" (4)
"Reverend LeRoy" (3)
"Rice on Hot Tin Roof(2)"
"Rick Santa Anna"(5)
"Right Not Privilege" (4)
"Road to Damascus"
"Road Trip" (5)
"Roads Scholar" (8)
"Rocket Man"
"Rocket Man" (5)
"Rockets Red Glare" (5)
"Rocks Rox"(8)
"Roger the Dodger"(4)
"Roger Williams Sucks"(2)
"Rooty-Toot" (6)
"Rose Garden Promises"(4)
"Royal Portrait" (2)
"Rubber Ducky" (2)
"Rubio's Cube"(6)
"Rules" (6)
"Rules" (7)
"Rumblin' Bumblin'" (3)
"Rumsfeldstiltskin" (2)
"Run Eddie, Run" (5)
"Run Far, Run Fast"(7)
"Run Forrest, Run"
"Run, old hare!"
"Runaround Tsu"
"Runs in the Family" (3)
"Rwanda Go Home?"(6)
"S'long Sarong (2)"
"Sabato Knows" (2)
"Sam Shopping" (2)
"San Juan de Capistrano"
"Sandy Hook" (8)
"Santos v. Vinnick"
"Satire-Apology to Mick"
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"SAWB" (3)
"Say Cheese"(7)
"Say It Ain't So,Jo"(4)
"Say It Ain't So,Joe" (2)
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"Science Marches On"
"Scooter" (2)
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"Sears and Loveaduck" (5)
"Second Line (2)"
"Second of Two" (4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(9)
"Seen Any Blue Swans?"(3)
"Selective Service"(8)
"September Twelfth"(5)
"Serendipity Strikes" (3)
"Serge is Working?" (3)
"Serious,For A Change"(6)
"Seven Samurai" (5)
"Sex or Gender?"
"Sexiest Man Alive"(5)
"Shaken, not stirred"(10)
"She is No Ma Kettle"
"Sheep and Museums"
"Sheep in Mindanao?"
"Shenandoah Rangers"(7)
"Shenandoah" (6)
"Shire Sunset"
"Shock and Awe" (4)
"Shoot 'em, Vern"
"Side by Side" (7)
"Sidin' With Anemone"(4)
"Silence of the Lambs"(2)
"Silent, but deadly"(6)
"Sing It Again" (4)
"Sink or Swim"
"Sir A Gut" (3)
"Six Days on the Road"
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"Sleepy Time (2)"
"Slippin' and a Slidin'"
"Sludge Stimulus" (5)
"Small Businesses-Ha!"(6)
"Small Gray Planet"(2)
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"Snow Tan"(11)
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"So Who's Sluggo?" (2)
"Social Security Reform"
"Social Security" (7)
"Socrates and Friends"(5)
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"Soldier of the Storm(2)"
"Solitary Isolation" (3)
"Solving a Problem"(9)
"Somethin' Borrowed"(5)
"Something in Commons"(5)
"Sometimes Life Sucks"(4)
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"Southern Ladies" (5)
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"Stan & Ollie"(7)
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"Stragedy" (8)
"Strangerthan fiction"(6)
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"Stupidly" (5)
"Stupor Bowl Sunday"(2)
"Subsidizing Seeds"(6)
"Sunday, Sunday"(9)
"Sunni Daze" (4)
"Supportin' da Troops"(2)
"Supportin' da Troops"(3)
"Survey Says" (6)
"Sweet Georgia Brown"
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"Take a letter, dearie"
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"Takes a Worried Man"(4)
"Talibanme Banana"(8)
"Talkin' Turkey" (3)
"Tax Driver" (9)
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"Tea Olive" (7)
"Tear Down That Wall"(4)
"Teflon Causes Cancer"
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"Term Paper" (5)
"Terminal? Great!"
"Terre Bonne" (6)
"Terrible Swift Sword"(6)
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"Texas Exes" (8)
"Thank the Academy"(4)
"Thank You Rand Paul"
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"Thanks, Dad" (3)
"Thar She Blows"
"That Looks Like Me"(5)
"That's the way it is"(5)
"Thawt Yuze a Toad"(7)
"The 60 Year Struggle"(5)
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"The Blue Dog"(11)
"The Boston Massacre"(9)
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"The Brotherhood Begins"
"The Eyes of Texas"
"The Forum" (2)
"The Future is Now (2)"
"The Garden of Good"
"The Good Book" (4)
"The Good Doctor"(6)
"The Great Quixote" (9)
"The Grumpy Dwarf"(9)
"The Important Stuff"
"The Italian Stallion"
"The Litany" (6)
"The Longest Day" (5)
"The Non-Issue" (3)
"The Perfect Storm" (2)
"The Pre-Fellowship"(4)
"The Prophecy"
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"The Second Amendment"
"The Silver Sow Award"(3)
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"The Turtle" (3)
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"There is a Virginia" (2)
"They're He-ear" (4)
"Thin Ice, Frodo" (4)
"Third Strike Nuance (2)"
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"Tom Bombadil isDying"(7)
"Tom Bombadil Returns"(9)
"Tom" (4)
"Top Two Percent" (7)
"Tora Bora Lora. . ." (2)
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"Toro, Andalay,Toro (2)"
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"Tovarich" (4)
"Tra La,Spring,Tra La"(6)
"Train Wreck"(8)
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"Travel Sucks" (4)
"Tree Fishin' (2)"
"Trees v. Forest"(9)
"Trekking Mount Doom" (2)
"Tripod Hackers?"(9)
"Trouble Sleepin'" (3)
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"Truly,Totally, Nuts"(3)
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"Tumbler" (3)
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"Unademdaze" (4)
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"Unconditional Surrender"
"Unconventional, you say?"(7)
"Underdog Shmunderdog"(4)
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"Untimely Events"
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"Vandals at the Gates"(2)
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"Veto Shmetoe (2)"
"Vick Drops, Cough!" (3)
"Video Thriller"(5)
"Vinson Can Gogh"(6)
"Virgin Birth" (2)
"Virginia is 4 Lovers"(4)
"Virginia Lovers" (4)
"Vom Winde Verweht" (2)
"Vote for Steve" (2)
"Vote Frodo (Not)"(7)
"W is for Wuss""
"Wait 'til Next Year" (2)
"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
"Walkin' in the Woods"(5)
"Walkin' the Dogs"(8)
"Walkin' the Walk"
"Wall of Libertad"
"War on Middle Class"(2)
"War on Tara"
"Warm Bucket of Spit"(4)
"Was Miers His Attorney?"
"Watch Mr. Wizard" (3)
"Water Into Wine" (11)
"Water into Wine?"
"Watts da plan, Man?"(5)
"Wayne Johnson"(4)
"We Make a Better Day"(5)
"We Sank a Truck"
"We Will Rock You"
"Weather Channel Follies"
"Weddin' Down South" (3)
"Wedding Bell Blues"
"Weeds Way Is Up?"(5)
"Weepy Seepy Peepee"(3)
"Welcome Home, Soldier"
"Well, Duh!"
"Well, Poop"(8)
"West Wing Redux" (2)
"What Goes Around" (6)
"What if JR Shot Back"(9)
"What is a Shimkus?" (2)
"What Mark Felt"
"What Schedule?" (2)
"What Time Is It (2)"
"What We Have Here (2)"
"What Would Mitt Do?"(3)
"What's A Cubit?"
"What's a Sgarbi?" (5)
"What, Me Worry?"
"What, Me Worry?" (3)
"Where Sun Doan Shine"(8)
"Where's Frodo?" (5)
"Where's my puppy?"(4)
"Where's the Beef?"
"Where's the Fire?"(5)
"Whither Frodo?"
"Whitman's Sampler"(6)
"Who Dat Say Who Dat?"
"Who dat?" (2)
"Who did it?" (2)
"Who Torted?"
"Who Was That Guy?" (5)
"Who's In Line?"(6)
"Who's We, White Boy?"(3)
"Why are you here"?(3)
"Why are you here?" (3)
"Why Black Folks Cheered"
"Wiccan I do for you?"(2)
"Wicked Pickett"
"Wide Stance" (4)
"Will better be?"(7)
"Willard" (7)
"Willie B had heart" (5)
"Winchester Women (2)"
"Wink at the Moon"
"Winter Solstice"
"Wishin' and Hopin'"
"Wither Channels" (5)
"Wither Weather"(9)
"Wither Weather?"(4)
"WMD in the Shire"(6)
"Words To Live By"(7)
"Workin' on Night Moves"
"Worst Candidate Ever"(8)
"Worth Waiting For?"(5)
"Write a Letter" (7)
"Writer's Block" (2)
"Wrong Again, Frodo"(3)
"Wyomin' Gloamin'" (2)
"Xmas in Shreveport"(6)
"Yahoo" (4)
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"Yankee Ingenuity"
"Yella Rose a Taxes"(4)
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"Yes, No, Who Knows?" (2)
"You Betcha" (6)
"You Put Your Eye Out"(2)
"You Snake in the Grass"
"You Take the High Road"
"Zimmerman Noted"(6)
"Zinni in Bloom (2)"
"Zounds, Sounds!" (5)
"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Dreamin', I'm Always Dreamin'
Mood:  sharp
Topic: "Foundling Fathers"(7)

Disdain is probably an appropriate word to describe Frodo's feelings whenever a political candidate starts talking about the "Founding Fathers."  In recent days John Quincy Adams, the 6th President, has been identified by one weak-minded twit as a contemporary of Adams, Jefferson, Washington, Franklin, Madison, Henry, Hamilton, and yes, even Aaron Burr.  What really begins to grind his butt is when one of the current escapees from a Psych Ward talks about what the FF (as we will identify them for future reference) believed or how they behaved.

Nearly every educated voter is aware of the fact that Thomas Jefferson was not only a slave owner, but he found special pleasures therein.  Few know however, that Jefferson also arranged for a chamber to be constructed to a depth of 16 feet below the newly-constructed "White House" in order to store his wine collection.  Franklin, Hamilton, and Burr, at the very least each made Bill Clinton's shenanigans seem mild, as they cuckolded in every direction, and in nearly every position.  

It would probably be disputed by nearly each of those who would be President that the newly-enacted Constitution was under constant threat of change, since nearly every political figure of the time thought the document to be imperfect and imprecise.  The current set of pretenders have already found instances appropriate to the allegation that the FF were devout Christians and that seeking God's wishes for a Christian Nation was the end-plan by the time of the coming election.  It is difficult to even imply Christianity given the writings of the individual FF, and most certainly the Deism of Jefferson suggests that the Constitutional references to an active Supreme Being  are inconsistent, at best.

It is not Frodo's intent to besmirch the good works and the sacrifice of those who risked "sacred life, honour, and fortune."  It is his point that we, dear reader, tend to somehow impose our values on the facts as they took place.  This leads him to the point of what follows herein, and what that is will be quoted to the end of this piece, and Frodo will offer no additional commentary.  Frodo will merely suggest that each read and consider, taking into consideration events taking place in Middle Earth as we speak.  Understand we must that the problems we face have been confronted before and most likely, to be confronted again by those who learn not.

"In 1785, when Jefferson was Ambassador to France, he wrote James Madison a revealing letter from the royal palace of Fontainebleau, where the king and queen were enjoying the hunting season.  Jefferson told Madison how, while strolling in the countryside, he had met a ragged woman who had two children to feed and no bread.  Jefferson described the vast acreage of the king's demesne and told Madison he thought the grossly unequal distribution of property that prevailed in aristocratic Europe was a curse.  They must see to it that it never happened in America.  The earth was given as 'a common stock for men to labour & live," Jefferson declared.  The future happiness of America depended on giving as many people as possible at least 'a little portion' of land.  "The small landholders,' Jefferson wrote, 'are the most precious part of a state.'" --from "Duel, Alexander Hamilton, Aaron Burr and The Future of America," written by Thomas Fleming, 1999.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:26 PM EDT
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Sunday, October 16, 2011
Islands In The Stream, That Is What We Are
Mood:  crushed out
Topic: "Vote Frodo (Not)"(7)

Frodo was again asked "the" question.  Again, he was appreciative, flattered, and dismissive.  Frodo might enjoy helping run a campaign, for somebody else, but he would be less effective than his friend "Falzone for America."  Frodo might also compose a lot of good arguments to help support the best candidate in almost any electoral contest, but Merry of the Fellowship is a professional and would grab the jugular of the lesser opponent and rip it out of the physical body.  It is not that Frodo lacks leadership skills or the qualifications to meet such a challenge, it's just, well, he likes talking to himself.

Frodo, understand this dear reader, is no Tom Eagleton.  Frodo likes sitting atop a keyboard and telling it what he wants it to say in response.  Sometimes, he has found, he comes up with some pretty solid stuff, and that comes without having any idea where he was going when he started to type.  If Frodo were not tone deaf, he could aver that he composes, musically, and that the lyrics come tied to a tune, or vice-versa.  Frodo imagines, for example, that Pete Seeger knew what the words were going to be, and that he placed the music with the flowers picked by young girls, every one.  Frodo does something similar, and that is why a few words from the artistry of this generation open the mind of the reader herein.

It has been argued that Frodo does not have the courage (he will not argue if the word "money' is used instead) exhibited by those who do run, even if they are buffoons.  One said, specifically, that all of Frodo's "big words" become "just talk," if he does not stand up for the working man, or those who fall well below the 1% level that so many young people reference these days.

Doris Kearns Goodwin has, to Frodo's knowledge, never held political office.  Neither have Robert Frost nor Thomas Friedman, but who among us has failed to stop, and to listen, to what each has to say?  Frodo should be so fortunate to command the respect that the words that emanate from those keyboards elicit.  That is what Frodo wants, to make the reader do whatever he wants, to laugh, to cry, to think, and to come back time and again.

Besides, he could only run for re-election once, then he'd have to get a job.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:51 PM EDT
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Thursday, October 13, 2011
The Closer You Get, The Farther I Fall
Mood:  d'oh
Topic: "Nein, nein, nein"(7)

Herman, or as Sarah Palin has said "Herbert," Cain would be flabbergasted to know that the identical pronunciation of his economic reform plan (9-9-9) into German is translated as "No-no-no."  Frodo took a few minutes out of a busy day in order to actually read some of this tripe, and he has to admit that it is even more bizarre than Cain himself. 

For those who have been on Neptune, or Kandahar, for the past week or so, they may have missed Cain's accelerating commentary on a tax reform package that consists of 9% corporate taxes, 9% individual income taxes, and 9% federal sales taxes.  Cain alleges that an employee of Wells Fargo in Ohio has assured him that the plan is viable.  The first problem noted is that it does not produce enough revenue to meet current demand.

That is an easily dealt with problem if one simply removes both Social Security and Medicare from the current federal budget, which is exactly what Cain suggests.  He adds that churches, state & local governments, volunteers, etc. should have the responsibility for meeting these needs, and that how they would accomplish this would be a testimonial to the exceptionalism of Americans.  Frodo notes that it would also require Divine Intervention.

The second problem deals with fairness.  We know now that Warren Buffet paid federal income taxes at a rate of 16.9% last year, and that under the 9-9-9 plan his taxes, and those of all who report under the vaunted "top 1%" total, would pay but 9%.  The 40% or so of Americans who make too little to provide for their families, and who now pay no federal income tax at all, would pay 9% of their gross income (since all deductions would be eliminated).  The result being that the onus shifts, truly, to the poor and the middle-class, while the wealthiest Americans get a pronounced tax cut.  Imagine, dear reader, a person living now on Social Security Disability, who would lose the income, and then be taxed on any largesse shown by their Church or friends.

Frodo stopped reading.  It is, as he has heard from Joe Scarborough (among others) that this guy Cain meets the true definition of "cowboy."  He is just making this crap up as he herds the cattle to slaughter. 

Notice how the most bizarre always seem to publish a book just about the time they go "rogue" or visit with a financial representative from a bank that received a TARP bailout?  Note also that it was Little Ricky's wife who said this evening, "Anybody who buys into 9-9-9 needs to call 9-1-1."

Amen, sister, amen.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:12 PM EDT
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Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Chances Are Because I Wear a Silly Grin
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: "Willard" (7)

In the time before time, Willard was the name of a TV weatherman who also masquaraded as a clown.  He became the foremost characterization of Ray Kroc, who needed an icon for his hamburgers and french fries.  Not long thereafter, "Willard" was the agnomen of a diabolical black rat who turned on cinema leadership after developing an appetite for human flesh.  Finally, there has come a politician, seemingly running an endless campaign to dispose of his inheritances, who also bears the moniker.  Search as he can, Frodo is unable to recall another instance of the name "Willard" during the tenure of Middle Earth.  Perhaps because the three are a clown, a rat, and a politician the logical assumption has become that prospective parents may do better by choosing something tamer than that which is shortened to "Mitt."

Frodo has this mental picture of the potential candidate for the Republicant nomination, wearing a pair of white shoes, white socks, white slacks, a white button-down shirt, and a white cardigan sweater, which bears a large blue monogram of the letter "W."  Showing all 162 of his pearly whites, he dances to the choreographed ditty which goes "Lean to the left, Lean to the right, Stand up, Sit down, Fight, fight, fight!"  This frog is a cheerleader, and nothing more.

The rat was a leader of other rats.

The clown laughed constantly, even though he may never have gotten the weather forecast correct.

Perhaps it is just as well that there are so few named "Willard," because complimentary characterizations thereof are few and far between.  Let us be grateful that our cheerleader doesn't commence with "Push 'em back, push 'em back, harder, harder. . ." in his own commentary on the collapse of our middle class-sciety.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:43 PM EDT
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Monday, October 10, 2011
What's That Flower You Have On?
Mood:  chillin'
Topic: "Make Jobs, Not War"(7)

An "Arab Spring" has given way to an "American Autumn."  Frodo infers that the predictable, if not observable, disappointment that follows a popular "coup d'etat" is indistinguishable from an aggregation of dreamers waiting in line at McDonald's in order to use the bathroom.  The fall of Hosni Mubarak now yields internecine conflict between Muslims and Coptic Christians, and Frodo foresees similarly the inevitable collapse of the tent cities that house those writing songs and carrying signs, "that voices never share."

Freedom is not inexpensive.  Access to freedom has been enhanced by information, or social media as some would call it.  What is not conveyed is how human beings deal with disappointment; disappointment in both the speed and the quality of reform.  What happens today in Cairo is sure to be repeated, in the near term, in all the lands that ring the Mediterranean.  What few realize is, that on a matter of scale, the same thing is taking place wherever there are people without jobs, frustrated by class favoritism, without the fiscal resources to join the "1%".

Eric "Eddie" Cantor has to be the reincarnation of Marie Antoinette.  To hear a politician refer to these people in tent cities as a "mob," is not far afield from a salutation as a "cult."  There is no evidence of rocks or Molotov cocktails in the air, which is not to argue that such will always be the case.  There is a need however to get in the face of those who have dominated the distribution of wealth, and to awaken them to the fact that the people of the tent cities are not terribly different from those who today seek to end the life of Qadaffi. 

Michael Bloomberg is an excellent Mayor of New York City, and he is as pragmatic as they come these days.  He feels, strongly, that all of this will just "go away" when the weather turns colder, and moisture is in the air.  Frodo is not so sure.  To go home, with no job and no prospects, is not what "American exceptionalism" conveys.  It is Frodo's belief that increasing adversity threatens the pastoral umbrage that most take of those who sit in tent cities and disavow "greed" and any or all of the deadly sins.  Making love, this time, is not an alternative.

Somebody is going to do something stupid.  It happened to "bonus marchers," it happened to "freedom riders," and it happened in Chicago, when the chant became "The whole world is watching."  The whole world, it seems, is caught up in the broken promises, and the unimaginable avarice of those who felt that they could get away with it. 

Indeed, as the seasons change, as change they must, the promise of Spring now confronts the harsh reality of Winter.  The Ring has not been destroyed, and the threat to Middle Earth is as it was in the beginning of the book.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:26 PM EDT
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Sunday, October 9, 2011
If We Make It Through December
Mood:  vegas lucky
Topic: "Will better be?"(7)

Frodo's barefooted feet were cold every single day for eight weeks.  Miserable enough was he that he pledged never to complain about hot, humid, and dry ever again, and fearful he became that he would break said promise.  Cool it was this day in the Shire, and Frodo was not the only one busily preparing for the coming end to the finest days of sky so blue.  Mostly it was the birds who will stay with Frodo in the months to come, but the transients, the squirrels, and the chipmonkeys watched the Hobbit trim, plant, and harvest.  Taking notes they were, remembering where the bright red berries would remain and the location of water and seed would be endless.

There is much in the Shire to please John Locke.  For there is a Social Contract that unites the diversity that will share each other in companionship, no matter their origin.  Perhaps it was in a setting like this that the great thinker first noted the need for sharing skills and resources, and he then applied that to the world of Man.  

Mick, the Wonder Dog, watches Frodo and drifts off into a nap when the breeze lightens and aromas grow still.  Fiona would have taken a position with physical contact upon the most comfortable appendage of the Hobbit, but alas, those days are gone (although there is the strangest sensation causing Frodo's foot to tingle).  Frodo does not mind sitting alone in the Gardens of the Shire, for Mick, the Wonder Dog, will siddenly wake up and realize that he has been absent without leave, and rush, as he can, to Frodo and seek forgiveness.  Such moments are appreciated beyond description.

Frodo has made a life's decision about the days to come.  His life is seasonal too, and he recognizes that he has wearied of the daily tasks that have consumed his resources.  In order to better serve Middle Earth, and to assure the destruction of the Ring, he needs to marshal the time, as Gandalf so wisely counseled him, to best use that which is given him.  Soon the telephone will grow silent, and those who sought the Hobbit for purposes other than that which serve but them will have to find another.  It will be an expansion of life's adventure, and it may drive Sam to drink.

Change, as the Hobbit says so often, is good.  Steve Jobs proved that, if one paid close attention to his words at Stanford.  It is time to step from one line, into another, and to do one's best to keep the feeders full and all the promises intact.  John Locke, methinks, would be proud of Frodo.     

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:51 PM EDT
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Friday, October 7, 2011
Heavenly Shades of Night Are Falling
Mood:  irritated
Topic: "Cult of the Wild"(7)

Robert Jeffress, Senior Pastor of the First Baptist Church of Dallas, Texas, with more than 10,000 cretins in his pews every Sunday, is an asshole.

Frodo feels relatively secure in this opinion not simply because Jeffress lives in the ugliest city in America.  Frodo's fatigue with the megaplex of Dallas itself does not rival his disdain for the entirely artificial geographical collection of cow manure and fossil fuels which is the base for the northernmost territory of Mexico.  Texas is the point at which God places the tube when he feels the need to give the world an enema.  Frodo now knows that Brother Jeffress is not even allowed to hold the tube, for fear that because he himself is an asshole that God may get confused and insert the tube in Jeffress mouth.

It is the latter fact that partially explains why Brother Jeffress has taken it upon himself to distinguish the faith exhibited by Mitt Romney as that of a "cult."  Brother Jeffress, who identifies himself as "evangelical," would probably subscribe to the same credo as those who marched as soldiers going to war with the phrase "Gott mit uns."  The unanswered question to be asked would be if he were clad in either black or brown?

Frodo has known a number of people who happened to be Mormons.  Generally, he found them to be hard-working, devout, family-oriented, in great physical shape, and the kind of people he would welcome should they move into the grounds of the Shire.  Respecting their beliefs has nothing to do with any interest in content; remember, says Frodo, that was an argument put forth by those who performed the Spanish Inquisition.  Perhaps they, also, were evangelicals.

Frodo finds it hard to fathom that a needle-nosed lemur like Jeffress receives any credibility whatsoever based on the argument that every one of the 16,000,000 Southern Baptists is viewed more favorably by our Maker than is Mitt Romney, or any of the others who identifies himself as Mormon.   The last guy making such an argument had something to do with the words "Arbeit macht frei."

Frodo is willing to bet that Jeffress favorite singer is Hank Williams, Jr.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:46 PM EDT
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Thursday, October 6, 2011
If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body, Would You Hold It Against Me?
Mood:  celebratory
Topic: "Unconventional, you say?"(7)

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Frodo the Magnificent will guess the question from the answers on the paper inside this envelope which has been stored in a hermetically-sealed mayonnaise jar on the back porch of Funk & Wagnall's since Noon today."

"Alright dog breath, and may a camel with dropsy fly up your nose."

"And the answers are. . .a drum roll if you please. . .1960, 1964, 1968, and 1980."

"Hmm, 1960, 1964,1968, and 1980.  Are those the years in which your ex-wives respectively filed for divorce, oh anointed one?"

"And may the Great Speckled Bird fly in condescending and descending circles until it disappears in a swishing sound into the hands of your wife's attorney, too."

"Please, oh Lion of Libya, inform us of the question to which the answers are 1960, 1964, 1968, and 1980."

"What three Presidential Nominating Conventions even remotely offered the potential for theatre as great as does the 2012 Republican Convention?"

"Is this a serious question?"

"In 1960, the Democratic Nominee for President, Adlai Stevenson, threw the issue of a Vice-Presidential contender to the floor, and Estes Kefauver defeated the junior Senator from Massachusetts (in the only election he ever lost), John Kennedy.  It was a hoot!"

"In 1964 the Republicans, in turn, decided that Barry Goldwater, with vice as a virtue, would upend Nelson Rockefeller for the Presidential top-spot simply because he had married a divorcee named Happy.  Republicants it seemed, believed in the sanctity of the institution of marriage, that is untiil Reagan, and Nancy, came along." 

"In 1968, the Democrats, again, battled on the floor of the convention and in the streets of Chicago outside before settling on George McGovern and Tom Eagleton as their ticket, and McGovern was set up to offer his acceptance speech beginning at 1:30 AM (2:30 in the East), later to discover that Eagleton had received "electric shock therapy" and Sargent Shriver was hand-picked as the last man standing for the Veep nomination."

"Then, in 1980, Jimmy Carter, the incumbent Democrat, faced a floor challenge from Ted Kennedy, and the fearful Democrats proceeded to disembowel themselves amongst the 21% interest rates, and the 400-plus days of hostage-holding in Iran."

"These great spectacles whimper in silence as we contemplate Herman Cain and Ricky Perry, sharing 29% of the Republican faithful, and Mitt Romney accounting for another 17%.  Can you imagine how this collection of racists, morons, clowns, and losers are going to deal with 56% of a party faithful which calls themselves a "Tea Party"?  Frodo is bouncing up-and-down, from left foot to right, as he recalls the greatest of cheers from another Convention, in another time."

"Can you say, 'Four More Years'?  If so, then recognize that it will take the Republicants at least that long to make a decision. 

Amanda Knox looks like a winner to Frodo. 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:36 PM EDT
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Tuesday, October 4, 2011
If You Like Pina Coladas
Mood:  suave
Topic: "Clinton Cuts" (7)

Continuing with an (ahem) indepth analysis of the last Presidential Administration to produce a budgetary surplus, Frodo now presents a little Republicant masturbatory magic as he details the cuts to spending proposed by the Clinton Administration as they took control.  Following are the program cuts and revisions proposed over five years, or so.

Federal Crop Insurance ($551M)

Economic Research Service ($61M)

Trade Adjustment Assistance Program ($30M)

State Justice Institute ($51M)

Nuclear Reactor Research (None)

Advisory Commissions ($41M)

Rural Electrification ($374M)

Farmers Home Administration ($31M)

Bureau of Export Administration ($27M)

Health Profession Assistance Grants ($87M)

Wastewater Treatment Projects ($4.1B)

Appalachian Regional Commission ($20M)

Community Investment Program ($1.2B)

Tennessee Valley Authority ($188M)

Honey Subsidies ($32M)

Farm Subsidies ($1B)

Wool & Mohair Subsidies ($212M)

Savings from Program Cuts and Revisions, and from elimination of certain selected subsidies (cumulative):  $8.005B.  There were, of course, many other monetary issues involved, but these were cuts specified ahead of time.

During the Administration of George H.W. Bush (only 4 years, thank God), the deficit was increased by approximately $3Trillion.  The proposed spending reductions of the Clinton Administration identified above, represent about 3% of the increase in the deficit produced by the first, and, unfortunately, not the last, of the Bushes.  The fact that 8 years later the deficit was actually shrinking is a testament to substantive budgetary responsibility.  The elimination of Wool and Mohair subsidies in and of itself, was not enough to turn the ship of state. 

President Clinton would remark, after the mid-term elections, that he got the message, and "that the era of Big Government was over."

The Department of Homeland Security however wafted in the wings, and Wool and Mohair became fashionable once again.   About $9Trillion was being printed for something called the "Neo-Cons" (for those who have forgotten already, Frodo reminds you that they were the "Tea Party" with only the capacity to diagram sentences to distinguish them therefrom).    




Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:46 PM EDT
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Monday, October 3, 2011
Feels Like The Very First Time
Mood:  sharp
Topic: "Friends of Bill" (7)

Frodo is in one of his moods, not surly mind you, but one of those instances where he does a lot of something over an extended period of time.  In this case it involves tossing lots of stuff, that which should have been tossed the first dozen or so times it was handled but which was mysteriously saved until the next mood took action.  Amid the fervor, he came across the "Nation" section of the ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION dated February 19th, 1993.

He had no idea, to anticipate your query, dear reader, that is until he opened it.  Therein he found the Economic Plan put forth by newly-ordained President William Jefferson Clinton, and its "impact" on Middle Earth.  What follows is the "reaction" shown by various groups to the new President's plan to grow the economy.

The Poor:  Most poor people are relieved that President Clinton is taking steps to protect them from tax increases and to help them with job training and social programs.

The Middle Class:  Some in the middle class resent not getting the promised tax break, but many more are glad to see a greater burden falling on the wealthy.  They know a healthy economy is in their best interest.

The Rich:  They don't seem particularly angry as a class.  They realize the deficit has to be brought under control, and they are the ones best able to handle the load.  Some even admit that tax cuts that favored the wealthy during the Reagan and Bush administrations may have gone too far.

The Elderly:  They criticized President Clinton's proposals to raise Social Security taxes and Medicare premiums.

Small Business:  Small business operators like the investment tax credit and capital gains changes but are deeply worried about tax increases, entertainment deduction cutbacks and paperwork.  Overall they favor deficit reduction and fear that spending increases will outstrip tax increases.

Large Business:  Big companies approve of deficit reduction and a shift in focus from consumption toward investment.  But these executives worry that a corporate income tax hike will stifle a nascent economic recovery--especially if the increase isn't mated to specific government spending cuts.

If what stands above surprises you, then listen to the following:  "Two Valdosta businessmen faxed a simple message to Democratic Rep. J. Roy Rowland, 'We'll support tax increases only if the spending cuts are two-to-one'."

Two-to-one?  In one of the Republican Presidential Election Candidate Debates earlier this year, all nine participants voted "NO" when asked if they would support tax increases with spending cuts of ten-to-one. 

Quite obviously, some things have changed, and some have not.  Newt Gingrich was House Minority Whip, and Monica Lewinsky was learning, well, how about practicing?

Frodo has much more to say about the Clinton Economic Plan from the documents at his disposal, and he thinks all your "rowdy friends" may find them of interest.  Let 'em know.  We do have to get Frodo out of his mood, and into something meritorious for a change, don't we? 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:09 PM EDT
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