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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
"On Her Code?" (4)
"On Vacation, I'm Sure"
"One Act Play"
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"One For the Good Guys"
"One More Round" (4)
"One Orbit of the Sun"(2)
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"Painted Toenails?"(4)
"Panic Attack"(10)
"Pants on Fire"
"Parade of Horribles"(4)
"Part Two" (5)
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"Persons of the Year"
"Philadelphia Bunnyface?"
"Philosopher Kings" (4)
"Pickled Cabbage?"
"Picture of Frodo"(5)
"Pilot Wales" (2)
"Pirate Booty"
"Pit Bull Revenge"(4)
"Pius Baloney I" (7)
"Place of Good Abode" (3)
"Plaque 42W, Line 12"
"Play It Again, Sam"
"Play Melancholy Baby"
"Play the Frodo Game"(6)
"Playin' Possum" (3)
"Poland Parole Patrol"(5)
"Polish or Polish?"
"Poll Results Just In"
"Poly Sci 101"(9)
"Poor People"
"Pope for a Day" (10)
"Pope-a-Dope" (5)
"Popeil Veg-o-matic"
"Potty Training" (3)
"Power Surge"(9)
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"Preemptive Invasion"
"Presidential Erection"
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"Problem, Officer?" (5)
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"Promises To Keep" (5)
"Promises to Keep"(9)
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"Proud Walter" (5)
"Proxy Server Error" (4)
"Prudent" (10)
"Psychiatrist,5 cents"(6)
"Pugnacious Maverick"
"Pulitzer Means Squat"(8)
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"Puppy Angel" (2)
"Purple Pill Please" (2)
"Putin Tang" (3)
"Qaddafi Wins, For Now"(7)
"Qualified? Yeah Right!"
"Quayle Hunting"
"Queen of Memphis"
"Queen of the Damned"
"Quittin' Time" (8)
"Quoth the Raven"(7)
"QVC and Dorothy"
"Qwest For Truth (2)"
"Radio and TV"(7)
"Rain, Rain, Go Away?"(4)
"Rainy Day in Georgia(2)"
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"Read All About It" (5)
"Real Men Don't Shop"(4)
"Rechargin' da Shire"(11)
"Recycled Air (Gasp)" (2)
"Red Sky at Morning" (3)
"Red Sky at Morning"(5)
"Reduced Flow Flush"(5)
"Reimers' Rhymers"(5)
"Remember These?"
"Remembering Jessica" (2)
"Remote Outpost" (7)
"Render Unto Wright" (4)
"Reverend LeRoy" (3)
"Rice on Hot Tin Roof(2)"
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"Right Not Privilege" (4)
"Road to Damascus"
"Road Trip" (5)
"Roads Scholar" (8)
"Rocket Man"
"Rocket Man" (5)
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"Rocks Rox"(8)
"Roger the Dodger"(4)
"Roger Williams Sucks"(2)
"Rooty-Toot" (6)
"Rose Garden Promises"(4)
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"Rubio's Cube"(6)
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"Rules" (7)
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"Run Eddie, Run" (5)
"Run Far, Run Fast"(7)
"Run Forrest, Run"
"Run, old hare!"
"Runaround Tsu"
"Runs in the Family" (3)
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"San Juan de Capistrano"
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"Santos v. Vinnick"
"Satire-Apology to Mick"
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"SAWB" (3)
"Say Cheese"(7)
"Say It Ain't So,Jo"(4)
"Say It Ain't So,Joe" (2)
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"Science Marches On"
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"Second Line (2)"
"Second of Two" (4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(9)
"Seen Any Blue Swans?"(3)
"Selective Service"(8)
"September Twelfth"(5)
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"Serge is Working?" (3)
"Serious,For A Change"(6)
"Seven Samurai" (5)
"Sex or Gender?"
"Sexiest Man Alive"(5)
"Shaken, not stirred"(10)
"She is No Ma Kettle"
"Sheep and Museums"
"Sheep in Mindanao?"
"Shenandoah Rangers"(7)
"Shenandoah" (6)
"Shire Sunset"
"Shock and Awe" (4)
"Shoot 'em, Vern"
"Side by Side" (7)
"Sidin' With Anemone"(4)
"Silence of the Lambs"(2)
"Silent, but deadly"(6)
"Sing It Again" (4)
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"Sir A Gut" (3)
"Six Days on the Road"
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"Sleepy Time (2)"
"Slippin' and a Slidin'"
"Sludge Stimulus" (5)
"Small Businesses-Ha!"(6)
"Small Gray Planet"(2)
"Small Victories"
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"Snazis" (2)
"Snow Tan"(11)
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"So Who's Sluggo?" (2)
"Social Security Reform"
"Social Security" (7)
"Socrates and Friends"(5)
"Soldier of the King"
"Soldier of the Storm(2)"
"Solitary Isolation" (3)
"Solving a Problem"(9)
"Somethin' Borrowed"(5)
"Something in Commons"(5)
"Sometimes Life Sucks"(4)
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"Southern Ladies" (5)
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"Stan & Ollie"(7)
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"Stragedy" (8)
"Strangerthan fiction"(6)
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"Stupidly" (5)
"Stupor Bowl Sunday"(2)
"Subsidizing Seeds"(6)
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"Sunni Daze" (4)
"Supportin' da Troops"(2)
"Supportin' da Troops"(3)
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"Talibanme Banana"(8)
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"Terminal? Great!"
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"Terrible Swift Sword"(6)
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"Texas Exes" (8)
"Thank the Academy"(4)
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"Thar She Blows"
"That Looks Like Me"(5)
"That's the way it is"(5)
"Thawt Yuze a Toad"(7)
"The 60 Year Struggle"(5)
"The Atlanta Eye" (6)
"The Blue Dog"(11)
"The Boston Massacre"(9)
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"The Garden of Good"
"The Good Book" (4)
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"The Grumpy Dwarf"(9)
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"The Italian Stallion"
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"The Perfect Storm" (2)
"The Pre-Fellowship"(4)
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"The Second Amendment"
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"The Turtle" (3)
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"Third Strike Nuance (2)"
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"Tom Bombadil isDying"(7)
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"Tom" (4)
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"Unconventional, you say?"(7)
"Underdog Shmunderdog"(4)
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"Untimely Events"
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"Video Thriller"(5)
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"Virgin Birth" (2)
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"Virginia Lovers" (4)
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"Vote for Steve" (2)
"Vote Frodo (Not)"(7)
"W is for Wuss""
"Wait 'til Next Year" (2)
"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
"Walkin' in the Woods"(5)
"Walkin' the Dogs"(8)
"Walkin' the Walk"
"Wall of Libertad"
"War on Middle Class"(2)
"War on Tara"
"Warm Bucket of Spit"(4)
"Was Miers His Attorney?"
"Watch Mr. Wizard" (3)
"Water Into Wine" (11)
"Water into Wine?"
"Watts da plan, Man?"(5)
"Wayne Johnson"(4)
"We Make a Better Day"(5)
"We Sank a Truck"
"We Will Rock You"
"Weather Channel Follies"
"Weddin' Down South" (3)
"Wedding Bell Blues"
"Weeds Way Is Up?"(5)
"Weepy Seepy Peepee"(3)
"Welcome Home, Soldier"
"Well, Duh!"
"Well, Poop"(8)
"West Wing Redux" (2)
"What Goes Around" (6)
"What if JR Shot Back"(9)
"What is a Shimkus?" (2)
"What Mark Felt"
"What Schedule?" (2)
"What Time Is It (2)"
"What We Have Here (2)"
"What Would Mitt Do?"(3)
"What's A Cubit?"
"What's a Sgarbi?" (5)
"What, Me Worry?"
"What, Me Worry?" (3)
"Where Sun Doan Shine"(8)
"Where's Frodo?" (5)
"Where's my puppy?"(4)
"Where's the Beef?"
"Where's the Fire?"(5)
"Whither Frodo?"
"Whitman's Sampler"(6)
"Who Dat Say Who Dat?"
"Who dat?" (2)
"Who did it?" (2)
"Who Torted?"
"Who Was That Guy?" (5)
"Who's In Line?"(6)
"Who's We, White Boy?"(3)
"Why are you here"?(3)
"Why are you here?" (3)
"Why Black Folks Cheered"
"Wiccan I do for you?"(2)
"Wicked Pickett"
"Wide Stance" (4)
"Will better be?"(7)
"Willard" (7)
"Willie B had heart" (5)
"Winchester Women (2)"
"Wink at the Moon"
"Winter Solstice"
"Wishin' and Hopin'"
"Wither Channels" (5)
"Wither Weather"(9)
"Wither Weather?"(4)
"WMD in the Shire"(6)
"Words To Live By"(7)
"Workin' on Night Moves"
"Worst Candidate Ever"(8)
"Worth Waiting For?"(5)
"Write a Letter" (7)
"Writer's Block" (2)
"Wrong Again, Frodo"(3)
"Wyomin' Gloamin'" (2)
"Xmas in Shreveport"(6)
"Yahoo" (4)
"Yankee Humor" (5)
"Yankee Ingenuity"
"Yella Rose a Taxes"(4)
"Yellow Peril" (3)
"Yes, No, Who Knows?" (2)
"You Betcha" (6)
"You Put Your Eye Out"(2)
"You Snake in the Grass"
"You Take the High Road"
"Zimmerman Noted"(6)
"Zinni in Bloom (2)"
"Zounds, Sounds!" (5)
"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Monday, October 10, 2011
What's That Flower You Have On?
Mood:  chillin'
Topic: "Make Jobs, Not War"(7)

An "Arab Spring" has given way to an "American Autumn."  Frodo infers that the predictable, if not observable, disappointment that follows a popular "coup d'etat" is indistinguishable from an aggregation of dreamers waiting in line at McDonald's in order to use the bathroom.  The fall of Hosni Mubarak now yields internecine conflict between Muslims and Coptic Christians, and Frodo foresees similarly the inevitable collapse of the tent cities that house those writing songs and carrying signs, "that voices never share."

Freedom is not inexpensive.  Access to freedom has been enhanced by information, or social media as some would call it.  What is not conveyed is how human beings deal with disappointment; disappointment in both the speed and the quality of reform.  What happens today in Cairo is sure to be repeated, in the near term, in all the lands that ring the Mediterranean.  What few realize is, that on a matter of scale, the same thing is taking place wherever there are people without jobs, frustrated by class favoritism, without the fiscal resources to join the "1%".

Eric "Eddie" Cantor has to be the reincarnation of Marie Antoinette.  To hear a politician refer to these people in tent cities as a "mob," is not far afield from a salutation as a "cult."  There is no evidence of rocks or Molotov cocktails in the air, which is not to argue that such will always be the case.  There is a need however to get in the face of those who have dominated the distribution of wealth, and to awaken them to the fact that the people of the tent cities are not terribly different from those who today seek to end the life of Qadaffi. 

Michael Bloomberg is an excellent Mayor of New York City, and he is as pragmatic as they come these days.  He feels, strongly, that all of this will just "go away" when the weather turns colder, and moisture is in the air.  Frodo is not so sure.  To go home, with no job and no prospects, is not what "American exceptionalism" conveys.  It is Frodo's belief that increasing adversity threatens the pastoral umbrage that most take of those who sit in tent cities and disavow "greed" and any or all of the deadly sins.  Making love, this time, is not an alternative.

Somebody is going to do something stupid.  It happened to "bonus marchers," it happened to "freedom riders," and it happened in Chicago, when the chant became "The whole world is watching."  The whole world, it seems, is caught up in the broken promises, and the unimaginable avarice of those who felt that they could get away with it. 

Indeed, as the seasons change, as change they must, the promise of Spring now confronts the harsh reality of Winter.  The Ring has not been destroyed, and the threat to Middle Earth is as it was in the beginning of the book.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:26 PM EDT
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Sunday, October 9, 2011
If We Make It Through December
Mood:  vegas lucky
Topic: "Will better be?"(7)

Frodo's barefooted feet were cold every single day for eight weeks.  Miserable enough was he that he pledged never to complain about hot, humid, and dry ever again, and fearful he became that he would break said promise.  Cool it was this day in the Shire, and Frodo was not the only one busily preparing for the coming end to the finest days of sky so blue.  Mostly it was the birds who will stay with Frodo in the months to come, but the transients, the squirrels, and the chipmonkeys watched the Hobbit trim, plant, and harvest.  Taking notes they were, remembering where the bright red berries would remain and the location of water and seed would be endless.

There is much in the Shire to please John Locke.  For there is a Social Contract that unites the diversity that will share each other in companionship, no matter their origin.  Perhaps it was in a setting like this that the great thinker first noted the need for sharing skills and resources, and he then applied that to the world of Man.  

Mick, the Wonder Dog, watches Frodo and drifts off into a nap when the breeze lightens and aromas grow still.  Fiona would have taken a position with physical contact upon the most comfortable appendage of the Hobbit, but alas, those days are gone (although there is the strangest sensation causing Frodo's foot to tingle).  Frodo does not mind sitting alone in the Gardens of the Shire, for Mick, the Wonder Dog, will siddenly wake up and realize that he has been absent without leave, and rush, as he can, to Frodo and seek forgiveness.  Such moments are appreciated beyond description.

Frodo has made a life's decision about the days to come.  His life is seasonal too, and he recognizes that he has wearied of the daily tasks that have consumed his resources.  In order to better serve Middle Earth, and to assure the destruction of the Ring, he needs to marshal the time, as Gandalf so wisely counseled him, to best use that which is given him.  Soon the telephone will grow silent, and those who sought the Hobbit for purposes other than that which serve but them will have to find another.  It will be an expansion of life's adventure, and it may drive Sam to drink.

Change, as the Hobbit says so often, is good.  Steve Jobs proved that, if one paid close attention to his words at Stanford.  It is time to step from one line, into another, and to do one's best to keep the feeders full and all the promises intact.  John Locke, methinks, would be proud of Frodo.     

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:51 PM EDT
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Friday, October 7, 2011
Heavenly Shades of Night Are Falling
Mood:  irritated
Topic: "Cult of the Wild"(7)

Robert Jeffress, Senior Pastor of the First Baptist Church of Dallas, Texas, with more than 10,000 cretins in his pews every Sunday, is an asshole.

Frodo feels relatively secure in this opinion not simply because Jeffress lives in the ugliest city in America.  Frodo's fatigue with the megaplex of Dallas itself does not rival his disdain for the entirely artificial geographical collection of cow manure and fossil fuels which is the base for the northernmost territory of Mexico.  Texas is the point at which God places the tube when he feels the need to give the world an enema.  Frodo now knows that Brother Jeffress is not even allowed to hold the tube, for fear that because he himself is an asshole that God may get confused and insert the tube in Jeffress mouth.

It is the latter fact that partially explains why Brother Jeffress has taken it upon himself to distinguish the faith exhibited by Mitt Romney as that of a "cult."  Brother Jeffress, who identifies himself as "evangelical," would probably subscribe to the same credo as those who marched as soldiers going to war with the phrase "Gott mit uns."  The unanswered question to be asked would be if he were clad in either black or brown?

Frodo has known a number of people who happened to be Mormons.  Generally, he found them to be hard-working, devout, family-oriented, in great physical shape, and the kind of people he would welcome should they move into the grounds of the Shire.  Respecting their beliefs has nothing to do with any interest in content; remember, says Frodo, that was an argument put forth by those who performed the Spanish Inquisition.  Perhaps they, also, were evangelicals.

Frodo finds it hard to fathom that a needle-nosed lemur like Jeffress receives any credibility whatsoever based on the argument that every one of the 16,000,000 Southern Baptists is viewed more favorably by our Maker than is Mitt Romney, or any of the others who identifies himself as Mormon.   The last guy making such an argument had something to do with the words "Arbeit macht frei."

Frodo is willing to bet that Jeffress favorite singer is Hank Williams, Jr.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:46 PM EDT
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Thursday, October 6, 2011
If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body, Would You Hold It Against Me?
Mood:  celebratory
Topic: "Unconventional, you say?"(7)

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Frodo the Magnificent will guess the question from the answers on the paper inside this envelope which has been stored in a hermetically-sealed mayonnaise jar on the back porch of Funk & Wagnall's since Noon today."

"Alright dog breath, and may a camel with dropsy fly up your nose."

"And the answers are. . .a drum roll if you please. . .1960, 1964, 1968, and 1980."

"Hmm, 1960, 1964,1968, and 1980.  Are those the years in which your ex-wives respectively filed for divorce, oh anointed one?"

"And may the Great Speckled Bird fly in condescending and descending circles until it disappears in a swishing sound into the hands of your wife's attorney, too."

"Please, oh Lion of Libya, inform us of the question to which the answers are 1960, 1964, 1968, and 1980."

"What three Presidential Nominating Conventions even remotely offered the potential for theatre as great as does the 2012 Republican Convention?"

"Is this a serious question?"

"In 1960, the Democratic Nominee for President, Adlai Stevenson, threw the issue of a Vice-Presidential contender to the floor, and Estes Kefauver defeated the junior Senator from Massachusetts (in the only election he ever lost), John Kennedy.  It was a hoot!"

"In 1964 the Republicans, in turn, decided that Barry Goldwater, with vice as a virtue, would upend Nelson Rockefeller for the Presidential top-spot simply because he had married a divorcee named Happy.  Republicants it seemed, believed in the sanctity of the institution of marriage, that is untiil Reagan, and Nancy, came along." 

"In 1968, the Democrats, again, battled on the floor of the convention and in the streets of Chicago outside before settling on George McGovern and Tom Eagleton as their ticket, and McGovern was set up to offer his acceptance speech beginning at 1:30 AM (2:30 in the East), later to discover that Eagleton had received "electric shock therapy" and Sargent Shriver was hand-picked as the last man standing for the Veep nomination."

"Then, in 1980, Jimmy Carter, the incumbent Democrat, faced a floor challenge from Ted Kennedy, and the fearful Democrats proceeded to disembowel themselves amongst the 21% interest rates, and the 400-plus days of hostage-holding in Iran."

"These great spectacles whimper in silence as we contemplate Herman Cain and Ricky Perry, sharing 29% of the Republican faithful, and Mitt Romney accounting for another 17%.  Can you imagine how this collection of racists, morons, clowns, and losers are going to deal with 56% of a party faithful which calls themselves a "Tea Party"?  Frodo is bouncing up-and-down, from left foot to right, as he recalls the greatest of cheers from another Convention, in another time."

"Can you say, 'Four More Years'?  If so, then recognize that it will take the Republicants at least that long to make a decision. 

Amanda Knox looks like a winner to Frodo. 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:36 PM EDT
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Tuesday, October 4, 2011
If You Like Pina Coladas
Mood:  suave
Topic: "Clinton Cuts" (7)

Continuing with an (ahem) indepth analysis of the last Presidential Administration to produce a budgetary surplus, Frodo now presents a little Republicant masturbatory magic as he details the cuts to spending proposed by the Clinton Administration as they took control.  Following are the program cuts and revisions proposed over five years, or so.

Federal Crop Insurance ($551M)

Economic Research Service ($61M)

Trade Adjustment Assistance Program ($30M)

State Justice Institute ($51M)

Nuclear Reactor Research (None)

Advisory Commissions ($41M)

Rural Electrification ($374M)

Farmers Home Administration ($31M)

Bureau of Export Administration ($27M)

Health Profession Assistance Grants ($87M)

Wastewater Treatment Projects ($4.1B)

Appalachian Regional Commission ($20M)

Community Investment Program ($1.2B)

Tennessee Valley Authority ($188M)

Honey Subsidies ($32M)

Farm Subsidies ($1B)

Wool & Mohair Subsidies ($212M)

Savings from Program Cuts and Revisions, and from elimination of certain selected subsidies (cumulative):  $8.005B.  There were, of course, many other monetary issues involved, but these were cuts specified ahead of time.

During the Administration of George H.W. Bush (only 4 years, thank God), the deficit was increased by approximately $3Trillion.  The proposed spending reductions of the Clinton Administration identified above, represent about 3% of the increase in the deficit produced by the first, and, unfortunately, not the last, of the Bushes.  The fact that 8 years later the deficit was actually shrinking is a testament to substantive budgetary responsibility.  The elimination of Wool and Mohair subsidies in and of itself, was not enough to turn the ship of state. 

President Clinton would remark, after the mid-term elections, that he got the message, and "that the era of Big Government was over."

The Department of Homeland Security however wafted in the wings, and Wool and Mohair became fashionable once again.   About $9Trillion was being printed for something called the "Neo-Cons" (for those who have forgotten already, Frodo reminds you that they were the "Tea Party" with only the capacity to diagram sentences to distinguish them therefrom).    




Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:46 PM EDT
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Monday, October 3, 2011
Feels Like The Very First Time
Mood:  sharp
Topic: "Friends of Bill" (7)

Frodo is in one of his moods, not surly mind you, but one of those instances where he does a lot of something over an extended period of time.  In this case it involves tossing lots of stuff, that which should have been tossed the first dozen or so times it was handled but which was mysteriously saved until the next mood took action.  Amid the fervor, he came across the "Nation" section of the ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION dated February 19th, 1993.

He had no idea, to anticipate your query, dear reader, that is until he opened it.  Therein he found the Economic Plan put forth by newly-ordained President William Jefferson Clinton, and its "impact" on Middle Earth.  What follows is the "reaction" shown by various groups to the new President's plan to grow the economy.

The Poor:  Most poor people are relieved that President Clinton is taking steps to protect them from tax increases and to help them with job training and social programs.

The Middle Class:  Some in the middle class resent not getting the promised tax break, but many more are glad to see a greater burden falling on the wealthy.  They know a healthy economy is in their best interest.

The Rich:  They don't seem particularly angry as a class.  They realize the deficit has to be brought under control, and they are the ones best able to handle the load.  Some even admit that tax cuts that favored the wealthy during the Reagan and Bush administrations may have gone too far.

The Elderly:  They criticized President Clinton's proposals to raise Social Security taxes and Medicare premiums.

Small Business:  Small business operators like the investment tax credit and capital gains changes but are deeply worried about tax increases, entertainment deduction cutbacks and paperwork.  Overall they favor deficit reduction and fear that spending increases will outstrip tax increases.

Large Business:  Big companies approve of deficit reduction and a shift in focus from consumption toward investment.  But these executives worry that a corporate income tax hike will stifle a nascent economic recovery--especially if the increase isn't mated to specific government spending cuts.

If what stands above surprises you, then listen to the following:  "Two Valdosta businessmen faxed a simple message to Democratic Rep. J. Roy Rowland, 'We'll support tax increases only if the spending cuts are two-to-one'."

Two-to-one?  In one of the Republican Presidential Election Candidate Debates earlier this year, all nine participants voted "NO" when asked if they would support tax increases with spending cuts of ten-to-one. 

Quite obviously, some things have changed, and some have not.  Newt Gingrich was House Minority Whip, and Monica Lewinsky was learning, well, how about practicing?

Frodo has much more to say about the Clinton Economic Plan from the documents at his disposal, and he thinks all your "rowdy friends" may find them of interest.  Let 'em know.  We do have to get Frodo out of his mood, and into something meritorious for a change, don't we? 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:09 PM EDT
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Sunday, September 25, 2011
I've Been Cryayeing Over You
Mood:  accident prone
Topic: "A soldier booed?'(7)

In April of the year 2010, Marine Captain Scott Sciple drove the wrong way on an Interstate Highway near Tampa and plowed head-on into another car.  According to court records, his blood alcohol level was more than three times the legal limit.  He had also earned three Purple Hearts and a Bronze Star for heroism in both Iraq and Afghanistan and had nearly died of blood loss resulting from a severe head trauma.  Earlier that evening Sciple had blacked out into a "disassociative episode" caused by brain damage and post traumatic stress disorder.

The driver of the other car was killed.  His name was Pedro Rivera, and he was a mechanic, driving home with his wife after helping a friend whose car had broken down.  Mr. Rivera is survived by his wife, two children, and three stepchildren.

Sciple is currently in Tampa's jail psychiatric ward award awaiting trial.  Prosecutors refuse comment.  Sciple's father received a telephone call from his son after the crash and he quotes his son thusly, "I don't know why I wasn't killed any of the times I was wounded.  I wish I had been.  At least it would have been honorable, and an innocent man would not have died."

The widow is angry at the military for failing to treat Sciple's disorder.  Remarkably, in September of 2010 the Marine Corps agreed with her and wrote internally that "It is folly to expect a wounded mind to diagnose itself, yet our Marines still depend on an anemic system of self-diagnosis and self-reporting. . .this investigation reveals a disturbing vulnerability in the support we provide our combat veterans suffering the invisible wounds of post traumatic stress disorder."

Frodo wonders if Capt Sciple would have been booed by the audience at the "Debate" held in Orlando a few days ago?  All he knows is that the statue purported to be that of blind justice in American courtrooms, really depicts something much more poignant.  The lady is not blind, but her eyes are flush with tears.  No matter how the toll is enumerated when the wars against terror cease, the total will omit two; shown here, known to few. 



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:06 PM EDT
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Thursday, September 22, 2011
Are You Lonesome Tonight?
Mood:  lazy
Topic: "Remote Outpost" (7)

There are six games remaining in the 2011 schedule of the gallant Braves against the world, and none of them are being played this evening.  Concomitantly, there is another of those infernal "debates," this time emanating from Florida, in which eight men and one woman seek to play Gotcha on beams delivered into the living rooms of those unfortunate enough to have lost favor with Netflix in recent days.  So illustrated is Frodo's quandary this eve, on some channels there is nothing worth watching, while on others there is nothing to be watched, and Frodo is not excited about either prospect.

Mick, the Wonder Dog, has drifted into his before bedtime nap.  Sam is reading a book on loan from the library which has something to do with Sweden, and does not appear interested in anything that might involve Frodo.  Considering the wealth of postings on favorite internet sites not recently reviewed by the critic du jour, it would seem logical that the Hobbit drop little pearls of wisdom for friends named Merry and Pippin, but he is even a little lackadaisical toward their talented and thoughtful musings.  So what does he do, dare you ask too?  He pushes and pushes and pushes the buttons on the remote control.

Chester A. Riley (played by William Bendix), used to say "What a revolting development this is," and Frodo is reminded of this phrase as he thrashes from news to sports to comedy to movies to reality (a misnomer, for sure) to advertisements for all the country music ever recorded or for the company that will buy all of your golden heirlooms.  Surely, he thought, that on at least one of the satellite stations there must be something that will challenge the Hobbit out of his malaise.

Since the end is in sight for further adventures in Space during the lifetime of the Hobbit, even the NASA Channel is merely broadcasting a picture of the Moon.  Frodo decides to hone in, and see if there is something digitally-enhanced which replaces the sheer spectacle of said lifeless rock from observation in the cool open air.  He immediately thinks of the story told by Jonathan Winters, perhaps the funniest man who ever lived, about working in a nearby hardware store.  One day, said he, a map of the Moon was found laying open upon a desk in the storeroom.  As he glanced thereon, he noticed a whole box of those little pushpins with plastic heads, in different colors, nearby, and that set his comic mind to work.  He took the map out and hung it in a prominent position above the cash register.  He then took a couple dozen of the little pushpins, all the red ones he could find, and he began to place them in random spots all over the map.  He then went about his chores just as several potential customers entered the store.

Eventually, one of the customers, each of whom was to be mimicked by the aspiring comic, came up to the register with his purchases and confronted the Moon map with red pushpins scattered thereabouts.  He whispered to Winters, "What's the story on the map of the Moon with the red pins in it?'

"What are you talking about?", responded Winters,

"Why, the map right there behind your head," said the customer.

"Are you feeling all right Oswald?" since that was the name of the shopper, "There's nothing back there."  As the staggered customer turned and walked away Winters pointed his finger at his own head and turned it like a gyroscope in the universally-accepted method to indicate less than rational behavior.

One-by-one, each of the customers received a different story from Winters.  To some, he acknowledged the presence of the map, but denied any significance which wasn't labelled "Top Secret" by the Air Force.  Slowly, as each customer left, Winters noted their return, with a neighbor or close friend in tow.  Before long, and as it approached closing time, the tiny hardware store was host to the largest crowd in that town in many years.  Nobody wanted to leave until they got a good look at the map and prepared themselves for future discussions about the Moon map in the hardware store.

Frodo smiled as he thought about the simplicity of comic genius, and the vicissitudes of human behavior upon which it is based.  He got up from his keyboard, and he wandered toward the black-and-white, now tuned in to the Republicant debate, and he pressed a few post-it notes (all red, of course) on the screen. 

A few minutes later, Sam entered the room.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:25 PM EDT
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Wednesday, September 21, 2011
"Don't Know Much About History"
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: "He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz are names that are swiftly succumbing to the pull of times past and the ignominy of non-recognition in the pace of change we are experiencing in all types of media.  For the sake of brevity, Frodo will merely point out that this husband-wife comedy combo whetted the appetites of those captured by the first step beyond radio.  The show, "I Love Lucy," was loosely based on the premise of a Cuban Bandleader and his red-haired wife with Irish roots in her red hair trying to make their way in 1950's Manhattan.  The producers had the wisdom to let the talented performers perform, and to take the rest of America with them as they moved to California, and eventually to a farm in New England.

"Little Ricky," their off-spring who was almost actually born on-air, was portrayed by an actor who took over the role of a growing boy on the show.  The actual "Little Ricky" briefly appeared some years later as part of a rock-n-roll group known as "Dino, Desi, and Billy."  History however was not kind, and little remains of his presence in the public discourse this day.

Oh incorrect you are if you believe all of that.  For Frodo has cast his investigative skills to the winds and discovered that "Little Ricky" is not far away from us at all.  Frodo believes that "Little Ricky" moved to Texas, and joined the political campaign of Albert Gore, Jr.   After that venture proved unsuccessful, he butted heads with the local power structure, and converted to Republicantism (which is sort of like a cross between Zoroastrianism and Hinduism, in that you have to keep talking about 'the good old days' and walk knee-deep in bullshit).  Since Texas is fertile ground for personas long on bullshit and short on substance, he quickly became governor.  That's right dear friends, "Little Ricky" is now the world's greatest living authority on appeasement, and kissing up to Jewish voters.

His parents would be so proud.

Frodo believes he goes to the same hairdresser as John Edwards.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:34 PM EDT
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Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Yes, it's true
Mood:  bright
Topic: "Breakin' rules" (7)

Frodo's practice is to never make predictions, particularly when the political variables are so, well, variable.  Predictions are a self-fulfilling prophecy for those who combine a point in time with the short-term problems that seem to dominate the dialogue, at least when it comes to politics.  Perhaps that is why Frodo has not gone out-of-his-element to offer excuses, or to try to define a grand strategy in behalf of President Barack Obama.  He finds himself changing his own mind no less than twice per day as to the absence or the soon-to-be-appearance thereof.  Better, he feels, to sit silently and let others pass oral gas.

Rules are meant to be broken however, and Frodo feels like a few lines about the political landscape crafted by him may actually add some value.

Barack Obama is either the weakest leader in the history of mankind or he has developed a long-term strategic plan to establish a national course of action that will extend beyond his second term in the White House.  He will either be a one-term President, or he will be recognized as Lincolnesque for generations to come, or maybe Clintonesque if we don't get adequate rainfall in Texas.

Speaking of Texas, Frodo casts credit upon those who have coined the phrase "Read my lips, no new Texans."  As Frodo has noted before, 100% of the political figures who have made their way to Washington from the outback of Northern Mexico have been duds, at best.  John Connolly remains Frodo's prime example, since the late governor was the only Secretary of the Treasury in the entire history of our great land to declare personal bankruptcy.  Note that "Little Ricky" is running a $27B deficit, and has been described by political consultants to his own party as being almost as adept at forming complicated thoughts as a chimpanzee attempting to open a locked piece of baggage.

Frodo was struck this past week by the interview of former President Carter by Rachel Maddow.  He raised his eyebrows when he heard Carter say that the loss of support from that part of the American electorate which happened to be Jewish was the reason for his defeat by Ronald Reagan.  Considering that there are a whole bunch of people in New York right now, who are doing their darndest to force the US of A into an untenable position between the Israelis and the Palestinians, there is sufficient reason for progressives/liberals/rational citizens (pick one) to be alarmed.  There is however the saving grace of our buddy "Little Ricky" who has organized his thoughts as only he can in order to brand the President with the "appeasement" word he happened to discover when playing Scrabble with Bonzo at the Dallas Zoo.

The point, dear reader, is that there is more than a year to go before lines form outside government buildings not already shuttered in order to balance budgets.  Despite the unease, nay, the worry, that afflicts so many, the stock market DJI numbers reflect a gain of more than 5000 points since Obama took office.  There is no Henry Paulson out there to seek the end of judicial review.  GM is selling cars.  Frodo hasn't seen a pothole in the last 90 days or so. 

Frodo is full of hope.  He is also laughing his ass off at Sarah trying to avoid conversations about Glen Rice (anybody wanna bet that Todd has a little winkie?).  What is it they say Sarah, "Once you go black. . .?" 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:20 PM EDT
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