Mood: party time!
Topic: "Workin' on Night Moves"
"It's a bunch of bull, I tried to do something special for my son. It didn't harm him. You only turn 16 once," so said Mrs. Anette Pharris, 34, of suburban Nashville at her indictment by a grand jury on charges of contributing to the delinquency of a minor and involving a minor in obscene acts. It seems Mrs. Pharris had arranged a special surprise for little Landon Pharris at his birthday party last September.
About 30 people attended the party, and at least 10 of them were under the age of 18. The group was entertained by the presence of Ms. Cassandra Joyce Park (aka "Sassy"), 29, who danced for several hours before "the guys" took up a collection of $150 to compensate her for her performance in the nude. Sassy also did a special lap dance for the birthday boy.
Frodo notes that the indictments were handed down in this matter approximately nine months after young Landon's rite of passage. It happened that the family took almost three rolls of film in their documentation of this history-making day, but seemingly took their sweet time in dropping the film off at the local CVS to be developed. An alert photographic development assistant at the drug store was "shocked" at what he saw and notified the local gendarmes.
Frodo envisions the following:
"Sheriff, this is Willie Frist over at the CVS."
"Yeah, how're you?"
"Oh they're fine. We're all jes fine."
"Sheriff, I think you better come over here and take a look at what I have here."
"Well, I have some obscenity, right here in River City."
"Well, that sure didn't take ya long to get over here."
"Well Sir, Ms. Pharris brought these here rolls of film over to be developed, and they just filled full of pictures of Sassy Park in the all together."
"Ya see this one here, take a look in the background. Recognize those two?"
"That there's Sassy's husband, and right next to him is her Daddy."
"No I don't suppose you had noticed any of the background in them photos."
Frodo missed very few formative experiences as a teenager, and he is grateful for all the input to his Hobbithood. However, his 16th birthday party was at "Chucky Cheese," and he no longer feels obligated to keep the souvenir balloon.