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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
"On Her Code?" (4)
"On Vacation, I'm Sure"
"One Act Play"
"One Down, More Comin'"
"One For the Good Guys"
"One More Round" (4)
"One Orbit of the Sun"(2)
"Only 434 More to Go" (2)
"Opportunity Sox" (3)
"Or the Yellow Peril?"(6)
"Osama Can You See?" (2)
"Our God Is Better" (3)
"Our Town" (5)
"Our Town" (8)
"Out Damned Spot (2)"
"Out of Kilter" (5)
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"Overdue Books" (3)
"Pace Car" (3)
"Painted Toenails?"(4)
"Panic Attack"(10)
"Pants on Fire"
"Parade of Horribles"(4)
"Part Two" (5)
"Pass the Malais" (4)
"Passion Flowers" (5)
"Past is Prologue" (3)
"Pat bin Laden"
"Patsy for America"
"Peaceful Easy Feelin"(3)
"Peacetakescourage" (3)
"Permanent Vacation" (5)
"Persons of the Year"
"Philadelphia Bunnyface?"
"Philosopher Kings" (4)
"Pickled Cabbage?"
"Picture of Frodo"(5)
"Pilot Wales" (2)
"Pirate Booty"
"Pit Bull Revenge"(4)
"Pius Baloney I" (7)
"Place of Good Abode" (3)
"Plaque 42W, Line 12"
"Play It Again, Sam"
"Play Melancholy Baby"
"Play the Frodo Game"(6)
"Playin' Possum" (3)
"Poland Parole Patrol"(5)
"Polish or Polish?"
"Poll Results Just In"
"Poly Sci 101"(9)
"Poor People"
"Pope for a Day" (10)
"Pope-a-Dope" (5)
"Popeil Veg-o-matic"
"Potty Training" (3)
"Power Surge"(9)
"Pray for, Gas?" (4)
"Pray With Me Henry" (2)
"Pre-emptive Passages"(2)
"Preemptive Invasion"
"Presidential Erection"
"Problem, Officer?" (3)
"Problem, Officer?" (5)
"Problems?" (4)
"Promises Made" (3)
"Promises To Keep" (5)
"Promises to Keep"(9)
"Proud I Am"
"Proud Walter" (5)
"Proxy Server Error" (4)
"Prudent" (10)
"Psychiatrist,5 cents"(6)
"Pugnacious Maverick"
"Pulitzer Means Squat"(8)
"Punxatawney Bush"
"Puppy Angel" (2)
"Purple Pill Please" (2)
"Putin Tang" (3)
"Qaddafi Wins, For Now"(7)
"Qualified? Yeah Right!"
"Quayle Hunting"
"Queen of Memphis"
"Queen of the Damned"
"Quittin' Time" (8)
"Quoth the Raven"(7)
"QVC and Dorothy"
"Qwest For Truth (2)"
"Radio and TV"(7)
"Rain, Rain, Go Away?"(4)
"Rainy Day in Georgia(2)"
"Raptor Rapture" (7)
"Read All About It" (5)
"Real Men Don't Shop"(4)
"Rechargin' da Shire"(11)
"Recycled Air (Gasp)" (2)
"Red Sky at Morning" (3)
"Red Sky at Morning"(5)
"Reduced Flow Flush"(5)
"Reimers' Rhymers"(5)
"Remember These?"
"Remembering Jessica" (2)
"Remote Outpost" (7)
"Render Unto Wright" (4)
"Reverend LeRoy" (3)
"Rice on Hot Tin Roof(2)"
"Rick Santa Anna"(5)
"Right Not Privilege" (4)
"Road to Damascus"
"Road Trip" (5)
"Roads Scholar" (8)
"Rocket Man"
"Rocket Man" (5)
"Rockets Red Glare" (5)
"Rocks Rox"(8)
"Roger the Dodger"(4)
"Roger Williams Sucks"(2)
"Rooty-Toot" (6)
"Rose Garden Promises"(4)
"Royal Portrait" (2)
"Rubber Ducky" (2)
"Rubio's Cube"(6)
"Rules" (6)
"Rules" (7)
"Rumblin' Bumblin'" (3)
"Rumsfeldstiltskin" (2)
"Run Eddie, Run" (5)
"Run Far, Run Fast"(7)
"Run Forrest, Run"
"Run, old hare!"
"Runaround Tsu"
"Runs in the Family" (3)
"Rwanda Go Home?"(6)
"S'long Sarong (2)"
"Sabato Knows" (2)
"Sam Shopping" (2)
"San Juan de Capistrano"
"Sandy Hook" (8)
"Santos v. Vinnick"
"Satire-Apology to Mick"
"Sauron Psalms" (2)
"Sauron's Scythe" (4)
"Savin' Gas" (4)
"SAWB" (3)
"Say Cheese"(7)
"Say It Ain't So,Jo"(4)
"Say It Ain't So,Joe" (2)
"School Holiday" (4)
"Science Marches On"
"Scooter" (2)
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"Sears and Loveaduck" (5)
"Second Line (2)"
"Second of Two" (4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(9)
"Seen Any Blue Swans?"(3)
"Selective Service"(8)
"September Twelfth"(5)
"Serendipity Strikes" (3)
"Serge is Working?" (3)
"Serious,For A Change"(6)
"Seven Samurai" (5)
"Sex or Gender?"
"Sexiest Man Alive"(5)
"Shaken, not stirred"(10)
"She is No Ma Kettle"
"Sheep and Museums"
"Sheep in Mindanao?"
"Shenandoah Rangers"(7)
"Shenandoah" (6)
"Shire Sunset"
"Shock and Awe" (4)
"Shoot 'em, Vern"
"Side by Side" (7)
"Sidin' With Anemone"(4)
"Silence of the Lambs"(2)
"Silent, but deadly"(6)
"Sing It Again" (4)
"Sink or Swim"
"Sir A Gut" (3)
"Six Days on the Road"
"Skull and Bones"(4)
"Skunk Cabbage" (3)
"Sleepy Time (2)"
"Slippin' and a Slidin'"
"Sludge Stimulus" (5)
"Small Businesses-Ha!"(6)
"Small Gray Planet"(2)
"Small Victories"
"Smellin' Roses"
"Smirk Jerk" (2)
"Smokin' Pesticide Dope"
"Smoochy Time" (4)
"Snazis" (2)
"Snow Tan"(11)
"Snowiches" (6)
"So Who's Sluggo?" (2)
"Social Security Reform"
"Social Security" (7)
"Socrates and Friends"(5)
"Soldier of the King"
"Soldier of the Storm(2)"
"Solitary Isolation" (3)
"Solving a Problem"(9)
"Somethin' Borrowed"(5)
"Something in Commons"(5)
"Sometimes Life Sucks"(4)
"Sorcerer's Apprentice"
"Soul Train" (5)
"Souter Rules, Dude"
"Southern Ladies" (5)
"Sow's Ear from Silk"(5)
"Space Poop" (3)
"Speechifyin'" (4)
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"Spoonerized" (6)
"Spring Equal Knox" (3)
"St. George" (4)
"Stan & Ollie"(7)
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"States' Rahts" (3)
"Sticker Shock"
"Stolen Bases" (3)
"Stragedy" (2)
"Stragedy" (8)
"Strangerthan fiction"(6)
"Strip Searched" (9)
"Stupidly" (5)
"Stupor Bowl Sunday"(2)
"Subsidizing Seeds"(6)
"Sunday, Sunday"(9)
"Sunni Daze" (4)
"Supportin' da Troops"(2)
"Supportin' da Troops"(3)
"Survey Says" (6)
"Sweet Georgia Brown"
"Swiss Miss" (5)
"Take a letter, dearie"
"Take It Off Baby" (5)
"Takes a Worried Man"(4)
"Talibanme Banana"(8)
"Talkin' Turkey" (3)
"Tax Driver" (9)
"Taxpayer Assistance (2)"
"Tea Olive" (7)
"Tear Down That Wall"(4)
"Teflon Causes Cancer"
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"Term Paper" (5)
"Terminal? Great!"
"Terre Bonne" (6)
"Terrible Swift Sword"(6)
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"Tess of the Dorghis" (8)
"Texas Exes" (8)
"Thank the Academy"(4)
"Thank You Rand Paul"
"Thank You, Molly" (2)
"Thanks, Dad" (3)
"Thar She Blows"
"That Looks Like Me"(5)
"That's the way it is"(5)
"Thawt Yuze a Toad"(7)
"The 60 Year Struggle"(5)
"The Atlanta Eye" (6)
"The Blue Dog"(11)
"The Boston Massacre"(9)
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"The Brotherhood Begins"
"The Eyes of Texas"
"The Forum" (2)
"The Future is Now (2)"
"The Garden of Good"
"The Good Book" (4)
"The Good Doctor"(6)
"The Great Quixote" (9)
"The Grumpy Dwarf"(9)
"The Important Stuff"
"The Italian Stallion"
"The Litany" (6)
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"The Non-Issue" (3)
"The Perfect Storm" (2)
"The Pre-Fellowship"(4)
"The Prophecy"
"The Real Rhett" (4)
"The Second Amendment"
"The Silver Sow Award"(3)
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"The Turtle" (3)
"The Union Label"(6)
"There is a Virginia" (2)
"They're He-ear" (4)
"Thin Ice, Frodo" (4)
"Third Strike Nuance (2)"
"This Day in History"(3)
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"Time to Cut Brush" (3)
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"To Arms, To Arms"
"To the Hoop (2)"
"Together Again" (3)
"Tokyo Rush" (5)
"Tom Bombadil isDying"(7)
"Tom Bombadil Returns"(9)
"Tom" (4)
"Top Two Percent" (7)
"Tora Bora Lora. . ." (2)
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"Toro, Andalay,Toro (2)"
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"Tra La,Spring,Tra La"(6)
"Train Wreck"(8)
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"Travel Sucks" (4)
"Tree Fishin' (2)"
"Trees v. Forest"(9)
"Trekking Mount Doom" (2)
"Tripod Hackers?"(9)
"Trouble Sleepin'" (3)
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"Truly,Totally, Nuts"(3)
"Tuesdays with Nancy"(4)
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"Tumbler" (3)
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"Two Americas" (9)
"Two Steps Back" (4)
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"Unbroken Circle" (7)
"Unconditional Surrender"
"Unconventional, you say?"(7)
"Underdog Shmunderdog"(4)
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"Untimely Events"
"UR Number Is Up" (7)
"Vacation Brouhaha" (3)
"Vacation Comin'" (2)
"Vandals at the Gates"(2)
"Vat of Chocolate"(6)
"Vero Possumus" (4)
"Veto Shmetoe (2)"
"Vick Drops, Cough!" (3)
"Video Thriller"(5)
"Vinson Can Gogh"(6)
"Virgin Birth" (2)
"Virginia is 4 Lovers"(4)
"Virginia Lovers" (4)
"Vom Winde Verweht" (2)
"Vote for Steve" (2)
"Vote Frodo (Not)"(7)
"W is for Wuss""
"Wait 'til Next Year" (2)
"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
"Walkin' in the Woods"(5)
"Walkin' the Dogs"(8)
"Walkin' the Walk"
"Wall of Libertad"
"War on Middle Class"(2)
"War on Tara"
"Warm Bucket of Spit"(4)
"Was Miers His Attorney?"
"Watch Mr. Wizard" (3)
"Water Into Wine" (11)
"Water into Wine?"
"Watts da plan, Man?"(5)
"Wayne Johnson"(4)
"We Make a Better Day"(5)
"We Sank a Truck"
"We Will Rock You"
"Weather Channel Follies"
"Weddin' Down South" (3)
"Wedding Bell Blues"
"Weeds Way Is Up?"(5)
"Weepy Seepy Peepee"(3)
"Welcome Home, Soldier"
"Well, Duh!"
"Well, Poop"(8)
"West Wing Redux" (2)
"What Goes Around" (6)
"What if JR Shot Back"(9)
"What is a Shimkus?" (2)
"What Mark Felt"
"What Schedule?" (2)
"What Time Is It (2)"
"What We Have Here (2)"
"What Would Mitt Do?"(3)
"What's A Cubit?"
"What's a Sgarbi?" (5)
"What, Me Worry?"
"What, Me Worry?" (3)
"Where Sun Doan Shine"(8)
"Where's Frodo?" (5)
"Where's my puppy?"(4)
"Where's the Beef?"
"Where's the Fire?"(5)
"Whither Frodo?"
"Whitman's Sampler"(6)
"Who Dat Say Who Dat?"
"Who dat?" (2)
"Who did it?" (2)
"Who Torted?"
"Who Was That Guy?" (5)
"Who's In Line?"(6)
"Who's We, White Boy?"(3)
"Why are you here"?(3)
"Why are you here?" (3)
"Why Black Folks Cheered"
"Wiccan I do for you?"(2)
"Wicked Pickett"
"Wide Stance" (4)
"Will better be?"(7)
"Willard" (7)
"Willie B had heart" (5)
"Winchester Women (2)"
"Wink at the Moon"
"Winter Solstice"
"Wishin' and Hopin'"
"Wither Channels" (5)
"Wither Weather"(9)
"Wither Weather?"(4)
"WMD in the Shire"(6)
"Words To Live By"(7)
"Workin' on Night Moves"
"Worst Candidate Ever"(8)
"Worth Waiting For?"(5)
"Write a Letter" (7)
"Writer's Block" (2)
"Wrong Again, Frodo"(3)
"Wyomin' Gloamin'" (2)
"Xmas in Shreveport"(6)
"Yahoo" (4)
"Yankee Humor" (5)
"Yankee Ingenuity"
"Yella Rose a Taxes"(4)
"Yellow Peril" (3)
"Yes, No, Who Knows?" (2)
"You Betcha" (6)
"You Put Your Eye Out"(2)
"You Snake in the Grass"
"You Take the High Road"
"Zimmerman Noted"(6)
"Zinni in Bloom (2)"
"Zounds, Sounds!" (5)
"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Wednesday, June 1, 2005
You Make My Heart Sing, You Make Everything, Groovy
Mood:  d'oh
Topic: "Monkeys in Mississippi"
After nine years, Donald Wildmon, the Pseudo-Reverend who attaches his name to the "American Family Association" (ergo "The White Citizens Council"), has announced the end of the boycott against the Walt Disney Company. Surprisingly, this action corresponds to the departure of Disney CEO Michael Eisner, who just happens to be Jewish. Frodo is sure that there is no relationship between these random events.

The Pseudo-Reverend stated that "Boycotts have been a last resort for us at AFA, and the Disney boycott was started to address. . .the promotion of the homosexual agenda in the culture and media."

"We feel we have made our point. . .so we have decided to focus our resources on more pivotal issues related to the same concerns we had with Disney," was the justification used for declaring that Mickey Mouse is no longer gay.

Concomitantly, the Pseudo-Reverend announced a boycott against Ford Motor Company saying that the automaker has given thousands of dollars to gay rights groups, offers benefits to same-sex couples, and actively recruits gay employees. Ford responded that they provide the same benefits as DaimlerChrysler and General Motors, and that they donated $77.9 Million to a wide variety of charities. $39.6 Million to education alone, and a much smaller portion to community groups.

"Oh yeah," said T. Beauford Lott of Yazoo City, "well we don't plan to buy none of them Tauruses or Fairlanes down heah while they give money to them Saddamites," (Frodo believes he was referring to Sodom, rather than to Saddam). Frodo inquired of Master Lott as to exactly what his plan of action would entail. Master Lott informed Frodo that he would hold a press conference immediately upon his family's return from their summer vacation.

They're going to Disney World. . .in a Jaguar (now a Ford product).

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:46 PM EDT
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Tuesday, May 31, 2005
What a Tale My Thoughts Could Tell, Just Like a Paperback Novel
Mood:  surprised
Topic: "What Mark Felt"
Frodo has been plagued by two questions which he feared would not be resolved even during the extended life of the Hobbit. Is there intelligent life in our Universe? Obviously, we are aware of many places where that is not the case. The Moon and Texas are ready reference points. The other question, the identity of "Deep Throat," has tonight been resolved and confirmed.

Recapturing the spirit of the Watergate scandals, the subsequent cover-up, and the investigation itself is beyond the ability of the scribe. Frodo remembers the televised hearings, and how the entire nation sat entranced evening after evening as the intensity of the testimony, and the seemingly endless disclosures mixed pleasure with tragedy. Frodo remembers John J. Sirica, Sam Ervin, Fred Thompson, Howard Baker, Howell Heflin, and Martha Mitchell, among many others.

Martha Mitchell is the one that Frodo always wanted to meet. When it appeared that her husband, the former Attorney General, and Chairman of the Committee to Re-Elect the President (CREEP), was chosen to fall on his sword to take the blame, she fought back the only way she knew. She attacked those in charge, vehemently, and she defended her husband with emotion. An emotion so charged that everybody just assumed she had gone off the deep end. He was a lucky man to be so loved.

Frodo listened to the tapes again tonight, and he heard Nixon and Haldeman discussing their belief that Mark Felt was the source of Woodward's information. Nixon asked if he were a Catholic, and Frodo was reminded of the venom when Nixon was told that Felt was Jewish.

Frodo made a promise a long time ago, that, someday, he would urinate on that tombstone in Orange County, California. Which means, dear reader, that if you follow the news close enough you will someday see Frodo on the Evening News. May that answer one of your questions.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:37 PM EDT
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Thursday, May 26, 2005
It's a Wild World, It's Hard to Get By Just Upon a Smile
Mood:  bright
Topic: "Who Dat Say Who Dat?"
"Hear Ye, Hear Ye, All those with business before this Court please rise. Judge Frodo Baggins presiding."
"Call the first case Bailiff."
"Yes, your Honour, in the matter of Mr. Vince Neil v. National Broadcasting Company, all involved parties please come forward."
"WHO is representing the plaintiff in this matter?"
"No your Honour, MOTLEY CRUE is representing themselves in this matter."
"I beg your pardon?"
"MOTLEY CRUE, your Honour."
"Young man, I only care WHO?"
"Not WHO, your Honour, MOTLEY CRUE."
"Appearances, young man, have absolutely nothing to do with my judgement about this matter. You are representing yourselves?"
"Yes your Honour."
"As a part of this MOTLEY CRUE, you are WHO?"
"No your Honour."
"No WHO?"
"That's correct."
"WHO's correct?"
"WHO are you?"
"Separating yourself from the group of plaintiffs, what is your name?"
"Vince Neil your Honour."
"And the rest of your group is WHO?"
"No sir, your Honour."
"WHO are these young men?"
"MOTLEY CRUE, your Honour. None of them have ever been associated with WHO."
"Not a one."
"Mr. Neil, this MOTLEY CRUE as you call them, standing before me with you as plaintiffs in this matter, are representing themselves, am I correct?"
"Yes your Honour."
"Mr. Neil could you summarize the nature of the lawsuit filed by this MOTLEY CRUE against NBC?"
"Yes, your honour, we allege that NBC discriminated against us by banning us from any future appearances on their network. It is true that a profane word was used during a live broadcast of "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno," but NBC retaliated against MOTLEY CRUE in a manner inconsistent with similar utterances in the past."
"I see, by WHO?"
"No your Honour."
"No? WHO?"
"Not WHO, BONO."
"No your Honour."
"BONO is not WHO?"
"That is correct."
"WHO is correct?"
"You are, your Honour."
"OK, WHO said the profane word?"
"No, WHO in this MOTLEY CRUE?"
"No your Honour, WHO is not a part of this MOTLEY CRUE."
"Mr. Neil, did you say the profane word?"
"Yes your Honour."
"You and WHO?"
"No your Honour, Me and BONO."
"So, you of this MOTLEY CRUE, and BONO were punished on different levels by the defendant, NBC? Is that correct?"
"It is your Honour."

"Excellent. Now WHO represents the Defendants in this matter?"
"No your Honour. I represent National Broadcasting Company in this matter."
"And you are WHO?"
"No your Honour."
"I assume that you, sir, are not with either MOTLEY CRUE or with BONO? You are representing the Defendant, the National Broadcasting Network?"
"I am."
"You are associated with a law firm?"
"Yes, your Honour."
"May I ask WHO?"
"I'm not familiar with that firm your Honour."
"I never heard of them."

Frodo will take a brief recess until after the Memorial Day Observance.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:24 PM EDT
Updated: Thursday, May 26, 2005 10:35 PM EDT
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Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Seems the Troubles Are Always Theirs, Doesn't Anybody Know My Name?
Mood:  caffeinated
Topic: "I Inspired You?"
Frodo saw the lady every time. She was older than Frodo, and she looked as if she had recently had a stroke. He respected her privacy and simply proceeded with his business and never said a word to her. As he circled the indoor track, she kept to the inside rail and plodded on step-by-step.

Time after time he passed her as he worked through his exercise regimen. He noticed that she would drift to the right about every third step, and that she would have to compensate with a leftward step to maintain her position. She plodded on, determined, trying to get the body to respond to the plan she had set for it. Frodo passed her, and passed her, and passed her.

Frodo was always pleased to see her when he walked onto the track. Her effort was inspirational. Frodo would be reaching the end of his endurance and he would see her in front of him, drifting right, correcting, plodding on, and Frodo thought, "I can do one more. I can do one more."

One day they were there all alone, and when Frodo reached his stopping point, she was nearby. She looked at Frodo and she said, "You are so beautiful. You run so effortlessly. You are my inspiration. I watch you go by, and I try harder. You help me get better." Frodo is not often without words, but he was that day. He told of the lump in his throat as he realized that these two Hobbits, unknown to each other, were inspiring someone else to do more, to do better, to get well.

Soon thereafter, she comes no more. Frodo looks for her every time, hoping. He never knew her name. Frodo will remember, and not make such a mistake again.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:40 PM EDT
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Monday, May 23, 2005
Bloom and Grow, Forever.
Mood:  lazy
Topic: "This, Too, Shall Pass"
English Plaintain pollen is in the air all around the Shire. This plant, weed, if you will, is like an old movie actor you've seen a hundred times, but never knew his name. Remember Dub Taylor? Johnny Carson had him on the "Tonight" Show many times, simply because everybody remembered seeing him, but nobody had a clue as to he was.

English Plaintain has oval shaped leaves at the base, which parallel the surface of your front lawn. In the middle are one or two upright stalks about three inches tall with fuzzy stuff on the end. It is entirely green. Sound familiar? Frodo can walk around the Shire this very instant and find many examples.

Well, "Forsooth," saith thou, "so what?". Ah anxious ones, be not so concerned about the Witch Doctor and the "nuclear option," for the entrance of pollen from the English Plaintain is the official beginning of the end of the hayfever and allergy season in the Shire. Those nightly readings of particles per million begin to drop from the thousands into the hundreds. There to stay, until Fall.

So let there be rejoicing amongst all the Peoples of Middle Earth. Open your windows, breath in the aromas of Spring, and forget that you even have sinus cavities. There are some things which are, indeed, priceless. English Plaintain, bless my Homeland Forever!

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:54 PM EDT
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Sunday, May 22, 2005
Ahab the Arab, Sheik of the Burning Sand
Mood:  crushed out
Topic: "Classified Ads are Cool"
Imagine that you are a young Southern woman from someplace called Louisville Alabama; that you find yourself at the end of a failed marriage, out of work, and hanging out in Jacksonville, Florida. Add in the fact that you have very long blonde hair, and that your dimensions are somewhat akin to Dolly Parton. What would you do if you read a classified ad for a position in your field in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, and the year was 1978? Honey, in six weeks you have a visa, and you are doing Medical Transcription in the Royal Hospital.

Frodo has just described Jean Sasson, author of "Princess: A True Story of Life Behind the Veil in Saudi Arabia," and "Mayada, Daughter of Iraq."

Frodo has read the first of the books cited above, and has his autographed copy of the second beside him as he writes. The very dynamic author chronicles what life has been like for an extremely assertive American woman living and working in a feudalistic male-dominated society. Seriously, imagine Dolly Parton living in Saudi society for more than a dozen years, and you can imagine what Ms. Sasson experienced.

There were gifts of floral arrangements with diamonds as the calyx of the flower. If she would merely agree to have tea with some dude who already had a wife or two, the diamonds were hers.

There were men who threatened to take their lives because they found themselves dreaming about a woman, presumably the knee-length blonde hair was more than the Koran would allow.

But the stories are not all about the men who seem so alien and barbaric to those of us, including George W. Bush, who have no clue about that society. The women, the married ones, are sex machines for their husbands, doing anything to curry favor, and to retain their position as the ONLY wife. The women are usually aghast at the status of American women, who are not protected their whole lives, and who have to "prostitute" themselves to get a husband, or to obtain power in society.

Frodo listened to the words of First Lady Laura Bush this past weekend as she toured three countries in the Middle East. It was clear that she had not read any of Jean Sasson's books. They were probably still waiting to be classified under the Dewey Decimal System in Crawford.

Jean Sasson writes about women, not about policy. Frodo was pleased to have made her acquaintance, and the lengthy discussion we had. It is two-and-one-half hours from Louisville to Monroeville, Alabama. Given the writers from those two little towns, there must be something in the water.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:46 PM EDT
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Friday, May 20, 2005
What Kind of Fool, Do You, Think I Am?
Mood:  smelly
Topic: "Pants on Fire"
The little weenie, Ralph Reed, now states that the money did come from the CHOCTAWS, however, through his spokesperson, he states it did not come from their casino gambling revenues. And how, pray tell, does he know? Because they told him so.

Now, let's point out that these are the people, whom his business associate, Mr. Abramoff referred to as "morons" and "troglodytes." Let's also recognize that the CHOCTAWS compete with the TIGUAS for the sale of little rubber tomahawks to tourists. We all know that there is big money in little rubber tomahawks. Frodo is doubtful, unlike Sadie Fields of the Christian Coalition in Georgia, who said, "As far as I know. . .I have no reason to doubt him." Sadie, you have just proved that you are unable to distinguish the difference between a pothole and your butt.

Reverend Tom Grey, Executive Director of the National Coalition Against Legalized Gambling stated "No one in the anti-gambling fight would accept that there's a distinction." Grey's group received $300,000 from the CHOCTAWS through Grover Norquist in 1999, and then paid $271,000 of it to Reeds's consulting firm.

Why does Frodo keep hearing the words, "I did not have sex with that woman, Miss Lewinsky?"

Appropriate officials should convene a Grand Jury now. If this is serious enough for this little buzzard to be caught in a direct lie by his own clients, then there are more than character issues at stake.

Frodo looks forward to the day when one of Rupert Murdock's newspapers publishes pictures of Ralph Reed in his underwear washing his socks.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:08 PM EDT
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Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Lord I Can't Go Back There
Mood:  on fire
Topic: "Follow the Money"
Frodo will tonight attempt the greatest feat of magic ever presented in writing. In a few short paragraphs he will attempt to hold your attention while clearly and succinctly describing how a prominent political figure laundered money. Listen my children, and you shall read of the chicanery of Ralph Reed.

Between 1999 and 2002, Ralph Reed (through his business) was paid $4.2 Million to encourage the closure of the TIGUA Tribal Casino in El Paso, Texas. The Casino closed in 2002. In 2002, the attorneys who brought Reed into the deal approached the TIGUA tribe to reopen their closed casino, and their proposed fee was $4 Million.

The $4.2 Million deal included $1.15 Million which was paid to Reed for the specific purpose of helping to defeat the Lottery proposed for the State of Alabama in 1999. The $1.15 Million was originally received from an organization called the Americans for Tax Reform (Grover Norquist, in other words). Norquist received the money as a contribution from the CHOCTAW Tribal Casino of Mississippi. Norquist contributed the money directly to the Alabama Anti-Lottery Organization. The Alabama Anti-Lottery Organization turned right around and sent the money to their consultant, Ralph Reed.

Very briefly, Ralph Reed received money from one group of Indians, the CHOCTAWS, in order to help put their competition, the TIGUAS, out of business.

Reed has denied knowing that any money came from "gaming interests." In fact, he assured his client, the Alabama Anti-Lottery Organization, that no money from other gambling interests was involved.
The result is that there is no Lottery in Alabama, the Texas Casino was closed, and the CHOCTAWS control almost all of the gambling in a huge geographical portion of America.

The attorney who arranged all of this has been Reed's friend, business partner, and contributor for more than 20 years. His name is Jack Abramoff.

Does anyone feel like a shower?

Ralph Reed has announced his candidacy for the position of Lieutenant Governor, State of Georgia, as a Republican.

Does anyone else wish that Elliot Ness was still around?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:23 PM EDT
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Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Exchanging Glances, Things Turned Out All Right
Mood:  chatty
Topic: "I'll Take a Vowel"
Frodo and Sam found Prissy in the North Farthing Animal Shelter. She was on "death row," and sat apart from all the other dogs, as if she had become resigned to her fate. Part dachshund, and part beagle, she was relatively small, short-haired, and certainly no threat to any of the neighbors in the treehouse complex. After she was spayed, the name followed quickly for the character in GONE WITH THE WIND whose most famous line was "I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' no babies, Miss Scarlett."

Oprah Winfrey appeared on local TV as a newscaster, and Pat Sajak was the weatherman on the NBC affiliate. In fact, Pat Sajak lived in the same treehouse complex as Frodo and Sam, and therein lies our tale for this evening, or should that be tail?

Prissy was perfectly adapted for treehouse living, but when Frodo returned from his daily trek to Mount Doom, it was time to cut loose in the parking lot for a countless number of unrestrained figure eights, and a game or two of chase the pet into the woods and out again. It was generally about this time of day that the TV weatherman would emerge from his limb of the treehouse, in preparation for his sojourn to Mount Doom. Prissy soon found an open door an open invitation to visit this heretofore unknown Hobbit.

Frodo's neighbor got to know Prissy on a first name basis. This gentle Hobbit knew where she lived, had learned to recognize Frodo on sight, but the Hobbits never even exchanged names.

When Frodo and Sam found their way to the Shire, Prissy had reached the stage where figure eights and chase the pet into the woods and out again had become historical events. Her favorite activity was visiting Katie and Jenny next door to see if she could sneak inside and eat the platefuls of food left for Charley, the feline philanderer.
One afternoon, Frodo, returning once again from Mount Doom, was summoned next door to retrieve the ancient one from Katie and Jenny's living room. There the three of them sat, side-by-side watching WHEEL OF FORTUNE, which unbeknownst to Frodo was Katie and Jenny's favorite show. Prissy, it seemed, was watching the screen intently, as if she were trying to guess the unidentified, partially-spelled word. At least, that is the way it appeared.

Frodo told Katie and Jenny about Prissy's acquaintance with the star of their favorite show, and they were duly impressed. For many days thereafter the three friends would gather together, when their Mothers were not paying attention, to expand their vocabularies as Vanna spun the wheel, and Pat played Host.

When finally Frodo and Sam had to prepare a final and permanent home in the Shire for Prissy, Katie and Jenny must have been watching from a window in their house next door. When the Service was completed, Frodo completed a tasteful monument to mark the days of her life, and he retreated to a lost evening.

The return from Mount Doom that next day was particularly ominous. To visit a monument to such a gallant heart hardly seemed fitting activity at that time of day. As Frodo neared the monument, Sam in hand, he noticed the hand-drawn and colored cards. They read, "Good Bye Prissy. We Miss You and We Love You. Katie and Jenny P.S. We Will Think of You Every Time They Spin the Wheel."

Frodo thinks every card should have a P.S.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:30 PM EDT
Updated: Tuesday, May 17, 2005 9:35 PM EDT
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Monday, May 16, 2005
You Probably Think This Song is About You
Mood:  smelly
Topic: "AM Radio Next?"
CNBC has announced, albeit very quietly, the cancellation of the "Dennis Miller Show." From its' peak viewership of approximately 168,000 close friends and relatives, the current figure of approximately 114,000 was too much for even little-watched CNBC to tolerate. For scope purposes, there are soccer matches which have greater physical attendance than the sum total of all viewers that Mr. Miller was able to obtain.

Frodo has taken note of the backward career of the former "Saturday Night Live" replacement for Chevy Chase on "Weekend Update." After Mr. Miller took over, the segment soon disappeared. From there Mr. Miller made his first foray into Pay-TV when he began to appear on HBO with "Dennis Miller Live." This high point in his career actually proved that Miller had a pulse. Given that assurance, he was able to convince the right-wing nutbag Al Michaels that he would be an addition to "Monday Night Football."

Dennis Miller was a bumbling, stumbling, mumbling incomprehensible drone. His attempts at humor were hidden behind a facade of shots of "the guys in the booth," that made even die-hard Cowboy fans retch. Rather than watch the end of Professional Football on TV, Miller was soon relegated to his own prime-time program which was billed as a mixture of comedy, interviews, and Miller's own conservative political opinion. Given notice of the pending cancellation, Miller asked that he "leave the show immediately."

Frodo believes that even right-wing conservative radio blowhards have some sense for business. Who in their right mind would hire a guy who has been replaced by reruns of "Mad Money With Jim Cramer?"
Dennis Miller will probably hold a press conference to announce that he is organizing a committee to support his candidacy for the former Senate seat of Zell Miller. He probably thinks that no one will notice a change. It will be the first thing he's gotten right.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:46 PM EDT
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